[Zanhire]
[Angst]
[Writing is kinda back?]

***

Sapphire sighed as she opened up her notebook after downing her seventeenth shot of pure vodka.

"Here goes nothing.." She mumbled under her alcohol scented breath as she picked up her pencil and started to write, Just as her tears started to slowly well up into walls in her colorful eyes.

'12/28/19
2:13 AM

I never expected this.

I never expected us to just suddenly end, You know?

You were the best thing to me, I loved you with everything I had and I would've done more to make you stay, To make you realize that I still loved you.

When I caught you with Kawaii~Chan in our home, When Alex and Ruby were in the next room, I was so.. Angry and disgusted with you.

I wanted to kill Kawaii~Chan right there for even touching you like I did, kissing you like I did, hugging you, holding you.. I was so upset and confused and angry with you because I couldn't bare the thought of hurting you,

The only question I had at that moment was just "Why?".

Why did you have to hurt me like this?

Why did you have to do this to my children? They were in the room right next to you!

Was I not good enough for you anymore?

Were you angry at me for something?

Did you fall out of love with me?

What did you see in her?

Did she have something I didn't?

Why..?

I want you back. It's 2am, I think. I can't think clearly, It's all a.. Blur right now.

I took seventeen shots of vodka alone to try and forget your name but the only name I forgot is my own and I still miss you, Even if I'm fucked up right now.

Alex and Ruby are Aaron's, I know they miss you too, Alex mostly.. You were the father that she loved, Axel never did shit for her.

I don't know how badly they're taking this.. I caught Alex crying in her room a few days ago, I.. Left to let her calm down before I went in to talk to her. She started crying when /you/ came up in the conversation and she hugged me so tight, Crying that she missed you.

Was I.. Not the right person? We had been together, romantically and non-romatically for so long.. It hurts because now nothing is.. Right.

I wake up expecting you to be here. Hugging onto me dearly, your nose hidden in my hair and you always looked so.. Content with yourself and your surroundings..

Are you eating well? Are you happy? Are you taking our breakup better than me? Are you seeing someone else now? Do they make you even more happy and loved than I did?

I miss you so much Zane..

- STM'

The papers were stained with her tears now, She had started crying just before she started to write and she was full on sobbing now.

Sapphire slammed her notebook shut and she threw her pencil at the wall, making a small noise at it hit the wall and fell to the dark hardwood floor.

She grabbed the neck of the bottle of vodka and took a big drink of it as she leaned her head in her hand.

"I-I need you.." She whispered out shakily.