Truth is..

A giggle of happiness and affection was heard from the younger as Zane continued to peck Sapp's neck innocently while she played with the tips of his messy black hair, her multicolored eyes peacefully closed as she enjoyed their cuddle session and his affection. She always enjoyed being around Zane no matter what they did.

I liked him..

The warm, salty tears slipped down the demon's cheeks as she sobbed into her scar covered thighs. She had just witnessed the love of her life cheat on her with another female, A pink haired meifwa named Kawaii~Chan.

Well.. Like.

Aaron was banging on Sapp's room door, yelling for her to come out and stop hiding herself in tissues and blankets as she locked herself in her room, wearing the jacket Zane gave her so she had something to comfort her in the black monster consuming every fiber of her called Depression and HeartBreak.

I ended up with 'E' 'D'.. But..

Sapphire could remember every tender and loving kiss they shared. The feeling of Zane's pale lips against her forehead.. Her cheek.. Her temple.. Her neck.. The sound of his heartbeat against her barely moving fur covered ears and the way it would quicken when Sapp whispered 'I love you' to him. She remembered it all and couldn't forget as the tear covered tissues were piling in her small white trashcan next to her bed.

If I'm being honest.. The feeling is still very much present..

Sapphire had finally decided to go outside for once since the break up, Which was.. Almost a month ago and the first she was greeted with was.. Them. Kawaii~Chan was kissing Zane's red cheek after a mother slapped him for scaring her child, In which Zane defended himself that the five year old shouldn't have yelled 'DEMON!!' while throwing his small cup of ice cold water at him.

I like him.

Of course, Sapp turned the other way and headed down the sidewalk like nothing happened. She held back her tears and covered her scar covered wrists with her long sleeves even though it was Summer and it was hot in Phoenix Drop. She had worn black pants instead of her favorite shorts so she could fully cover her fresh scars.

Liking people is weird..

Sapp had started dating Gene, Someone Zane hated to try and make him jealous to which.. Didn't work as Kawaii~Chan always had Zane's attention no matter what now. Sapphire never had Zane's full attention like the Meifwa did, He was either cooking or on his phone or even just cuddling her which made Sapp think Zane never cared in the first place.

I'm just here, Swimming around in my own head, Wondering if this is just another one of my phases.

The blood infused water was surrounding the werewolf as she sat in the tub, a razor in hand while watching every time she made a cut, It would always heal no matter what. If she tried to cut deep, It would take longer to heal. If she cut close to the surface so no blood with come out, It would take less to heal and this is what she did every week on Thursday, The day they broke up.

I go through people phases a lot.

Sapp was laying on her bed, bundled up in blankets and Gene's arms as she scrolled through her pictures of her ex-lovers and wondering how stupid she was to date them.

Some say it's selfish.. But, I simply say it's because I'm just selective.

First was Jayden, He abused and raped her. Next was Travis, All they ever did was make out or cuddle. Then Nekomai, Sapp was very in love with her until the feline got bored of the werewolf and dumped her for Vylad. And last was Zane, She loved him since they were kids and she couldn't help but think that Zane was only toying with her emotions during their five year relationship.

I get bored easily. The second someone stops showing interest or I don't get a text back.. My mind automatically concludes that they just aren't interested.

It had been a few hours since Gene's last text and Sapp was crying again because of a nightmare she had about Zane. It was the same one over and over again of her memory of Kawaii~Chan and him making out on their couch, But this time in her dream.. Zane had pulled away from the passionate and rough make out session to look at Sapphire and tell her to 'Go back to hell, Flithy demon'.

So, I just move on..

Sapp couldn't get over Zane and it had been almost half a year since they brought up, Yet.. Sapp still waits for Zane to call her to say that he loved her and that he'll be home soon like he always did around noon, His lunch break at work but.. She never got a call or text from him while his contact name was still 'Emu 💕'.

But here I am, Many weeks in, 251 journal pages deep and.. Many restless nights.

Sapp tossed the now filled journal on her floor as she started to write more. It was.. Four AM while she couldn't and didn't want to sleep. Gene was asleep on her bed, curled up the comforter as his girlfriend was writing down everything about Zane that she wanted to forget about him and yet.. It never worked.

He is still in the crook of my thoughts.

Sapp could just hear Zane's voice whenever she was alone and just thinking about anything until he popped into her mind, which caused tears to well up in her eyes until she couldn't take it and sobbed again while Gene walked in and caught her. Soon, They had broken up as Gene didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't forget about their ex.

You think by now.. I just stop liking people..

Sapp was hanging with her female best friend, Lucinda, while she tried to keep Zane off of her mind before.. He walked up and asked Lucinda a few questions, not even caring to say a 'Hello' to Sapphire whilst she was fighting back the tears to keep a small smile on her face so that Lucinda wouldn't worry.

I know how it ends.. It's all the same.. It all ends the same..

Sapp replayed and replayed the memories of her and her old lovers breaking up which caused her to sob even harder than she already was from listening to sad and depressing songs about heartbreak. Her tail and ears barely or never twitched, flicked, flinched or wagged anymore and that.. Wasn't like her. Her tail always wagged when she was around people who gave her attention and now, barely anyone did.

And I've grown accustomed to it..

Sapp lied to herself. She was never okay and she will never get over it. It was years now, Kawaii~Chan and Zane officially tied the knot and got married a week ago while the two were still on their honeymoon, Sapphire spent her days and sobbing more and more everytime like it was now a daily routine! She kept remembering Zane's happy smile and tears when he first saw Kawaii~Chan in her wedding dress and kept wishing that Zane would have looked at her like that, held her how he did to Kawaii~Chan, kissed her like he did and everytime she tried to.. She started to sob more.

Yet, Every time I develop one of these out-of-the-blue likings for someone.. I never stop myself from the obvious..

Sapp started praying to Irene every night for Zane to come back to her so they could be happy again but.. Every day she wakes up and checks her phone for a text from Zane saying that he loved her and that he wanted to see her.. It never came. Sapphire was emotionless, She forgot what happiness was as she could now only feel.. Sadness and anger.

I guess I'm ok with that.

Sapp let out emotional pain filled screams into her pillow to let out her emotions and it worked most of the time, She usually felt better afterwards. But a few times, She didn't and she just kept screaming and screaming until she lost her voice for a few days.

I guess I'm just used to the feeling of a constant let down.. Maybe he is just like everyone else..

Sapp watched from a coffee shop as Zane and Kawaii~Chan shared an innocent and passionate kiss on a park bench as she sighed and turned away, knowing that she won't get him from Kawaii~Chan from how happy he is with her and Sapp was almost finally ok with it. She wouldn't date anymore but that's fine by her, She just wanted Zane happy and if he's happy without her.. That's fine.

I like him..