"The second law is the opposite of the first. If a person sees and labels a reflection in you, but you don't understand what they're talking about--the trait or quality they're seeing is something in them, not you."

I clasp my hands together and rest my chin on my fingers. "It wasn't me! I don't think Ex-Bot was seeing me!"

"The what-bot?"

Skipping over McSexy's question to keep chugging along with my thought train, I add, "I never understood why Ex-Bot constantly blamed and criticized me for having feelings, or for--being. It was confusing. I just assumed I was a failure at love."

"What's an Ex-Bot?"

Still in my own little world, I continue, "All those years punishing myself--"

"Insane," I whisper, shaking my head in disbelief. "I think I was chasing his illusion of who I was."

McSexy points his thumb over his shoulder. "You lost me at Ex-Bot."

My eyes widen when I realize I didn't buy McSexy a train ticket at RoboHubs Station. "My ex-husband," I clarify. "To him, I was a thing. I was a check mark on his list of things to accomplish. Get married. Check. Buy a house. Check. Be so busy checking off items on a list, you make no deposits to your relationship account and file for divorce'ruptcy. Check."

"You were married?" It's a rhetorical question bound with compassion.

I nod. "We were good friends, mistaking friendship for romance. Never should've walked down the aisle."

"I can relate--on the shouldn't've gotten in a relationship part."

Our unlikely connection makes me smile. Granted, McSexy and I are bound by experiences of heartbreak, but nonetheless--our souls are tethered in this particular moment in time. "Thanks to you, this mirror stuff suddenly has me wondering why I saw myself as an item to be checked off on a list. Thanks a lot, asshole."

McSexy chuckles. "You're welcome?"

"It also has me pondering the possibility I'm a judgmental and catty Barbie." I run my fingers through my hair, then outline the curves of my reverse hourglass body shape--sexual satire at its finest. "Clearly, I'm a Barbie. It's the other stuff I'm not sure about."

"Well," McSexy begins, "if you see yourself as an item on a list--sounds to me like you're being judgmental and catty towards YOU."

I stare at McSexy--expressionless. Who do you think you are? You--you--Pulchritudinous Nurse'inous.

Since the Ex-Bot, I've spent years trying to put the divorce puzzle together--searching for clarity in a situation blurred by tears and fear of failure--only to discover near its completion that a piece is missing. The last piece. The gatekeeper to wholeness and closure. I've turned my entire world upside down looking for the damn thing in hopes it will make me feel complete again, setting me free to write the next chapter of my life from a fresh and smarter perspective. But despite valiant efforts, I never found the missing part to understand how the unique shapes of my failed relationship fit together. As a result, that puzzle hole remains in my soul--the past clinging to my thoughts because the vision it was destined to reveal remains unfinished.

Then out of the blue, McSexy--like the jerk-off who hides the last piece of a puzzle to claim a victory he didn't work for--appears to pull the missing clue from his butt-crack and wave it in my face. I'm not sure if I'm miffed or excited. I'll have to further examine the bit of insight he claims to be holding.

Sensing a debate in the deep depths of my skull, Nurse McSexy softens his previous statement by saying, "Ignore what I said. Living under the same roof as my mom for so many years has obviously--"

"It's okay," I interrupt. "It's good when my thinking is challenged. Like they always say, Stupids defend their ideas without entertaining opposing views--and remain unchanged Stupids forever. Smarts entertain opposing views, defending the idea they can change--and are forever better than yesterday."

"Who always says that?" McSexy questions.

"It was Einstein or Dr. Seuss--or I pulled it out of my asshole. I can't remember."

McSexy attempts to wipe a smirk off his face.

"But seriously," I continue. "You--or your mom--might have what I'm looking for."

"Which is?"

"A puzzle piece," I reveal. "What else did your mom say about the second law in Law of Mirrors?"

McSexy shrugs. "Pretty much what I already said. If a quality's reflected in you, you'll see it everywhere--even if it's not technically there.

"So if I'm constantly doubting my worth--like seeing myself as an item on a list--then I'll constantly see other people doubting me, too?"

Like when I thought Nurse Maven doubted my reasoning for calling the 24 Hour Consulting Nurse Hotline? Or when I thought Receptosaurus and Ms. Whatnot doubted the legitimacy of my sickness because I could drive myself to the clinic? Or when I thought Doctor SilverFox doubted I was anything more than his inferior? Or when I thought PamPam doubted I ate spinach because I was fat? Or when I thought the imaginary Queen inside my subconscious mind doubted my justifications for denying my own case of Imposter Syndrome?

"Yes," McSexy confirms. "My mom swears--even if you try to explain what you're experiencing to these people, they'll just look at you like you're speaking a different language. They can't see what's not there."

"You mean like, Boing-cha-cha-moo-wah!"

McSexy's eyebrow freezes midway upward, my outburst rendering him motionless.

"Oh, c'mon," I jest. "I was speaking Martian!"

Pretending to reach out and grab an invisible object from my hand, McSexy says, "That's it! I'm cutting you off. No more Karmapolitans."

"But what if both people are speaking the same language and see the same reflection?" I question, reprising my role as the Devil's Advocate. "Like with you and the surgeon."

"The surgeon and I speak the same language?" McSexy questions. "That would be a first."

"He sees inferiority in you--the same way you do," I explain. "You said so yourself."

"No I didn't," McSexy defends. "The Doc treats me like shit, but I don't see myself as inferior."

"You sort of do," I argue. "You said being a nurse wasn't prestigious enough for PamPam, that's why she cheated."

McSexy stares at me as though processing his thoughts. I can't read his expression. I hope I didn't upset him, I think nervously. I still need to make a hottie lick his lips before I leave this Urgent Care if I'm to complete my evil mission.

"That's the third law," he replies. "Good or bad--if two people see a quality, it's in both of them."

Based on his expression, I predict a paradigm shift is happening behind McSexy's photogenic face. Maybe his mom was right. Maybe his relationship with PamPam did have something to do with Law of Mirrors. There's definitely potential in this situation for that assumption to be true. After all, if a person feels inferior, it's possible he may have mistaken the kindness of a woman he deems 'too good for him' as true love.

But why on Earth do I feel PamPam and I are similar, I question from within. I'm pathetic and lost and can't find my way home--a purposeless life. PamPam, on the other hand, is a fucking doctor! Clearly, her inner GPS is working!

"We've got this," I encourage, trying to pull McSexy away from his pondering. "We'll have happy endings before midnight."

"Maybe for you," McSexy replies. "The Claritin should be working by then." Now that he mentions it, I haven't scratched in a really long time.

"No," I counter. "We both will. I have spidey senses. Remember?"

"I hope you're right," McSexy concedes.

"It feels like we have everything we need to start winning. I'm just not sure--"

McSexy puts his arm up to his face and sneezes.

[sneeze]

"Kazoo-tight."

An image flashes in my mind--

--and the pieces slowly begin to connect.

*****McSEXY BREAK*****

Maybe it's just because I'm writing the story, but I sense a plan is brewin'!

MUSIC: The Script. Breakeven (Falling to Pieces). Life is like a box of puzzle pieces. The end product may be complete or missing key elements--but you'll never find out if you can put together the picture of your dreams if you don't try.

Your vote is truly McAppreciated. Muah!

MarilynHepburn.com

(This is a second edit chapter)