~Surrender.~

"The monsters in

My head always knew

That I would

Love you in

The end."

- d.j.

************

He stared at her.

As if she was everything.

As if the stars in the galaxy were hers and the moon she was.

As if the sky was hers and the sun she was.

From the joy to the laughs, from his peace to the turmoil she was; his everything.

His coal-black orbs held her with a frantic need.

As if the only hope around the calamity, the bearer of life she was.

In a gloomy haze, he fixated on her, his eyes wide with unshed tears.

Yet, he didn't dare blink.

As if scared she would vanish the next second.

"Don't you think it's time you should learn how to make a tie," Shravya chided playfully, her reflection in the mirror meeting his eyes.

Unshed tears lingered, and his heart ached; this or whatever they had was all over, yet it never truly went away. And that's why he was seeing her again in his dreams.

"I love it when you do it for me," uttering, Zaid watched as she sat before the dressing table. The soft morning light peeked through the windows, casting a warm glow upon her features.

Inhaling deeply to steady himself, Zaid tried to step forward, his unsteady moments possessing a deep longing.

However, something held him back, the fear of losing her making him unable to move anymore; what if he couldn't reach her again? --- he wanted to, but just couldn't.

Pain swirled in his heart, a bittersweet ache, a reminder of the reality he was in --- the reality where she lay motionless, trapped in the abyss of a coma.

Before the eyes, she seemed only some steps away yet he knew that she was far away, somewhere he couldn't reach.

He wanted to see her again, in the real world, but he couldn't --- tears slowly slipped out from his eyes.

His tears didn't go unnoticed by Shravya. "You're crying." She frowned and turned to face him.

"What happened?" Concern painted her words, even as she looked at him with gentle eyes, her body moving, nearing his before completely stilling.

"Who could possibly trouble you, Mr Grover?" She asked softly, wiping a tear away with her finger. She looked so worried --- he wished she would smile instead.

He likes it when she smiles.

"Don't they love their life anymore?" Although she chuckled with a little amusement, her words carried a comforting essence as she placed her hand above his shoulder, clearing away a lone wrinkle on his shirt.

Then, she smiled, peering into his eyes --- the warm brown autumn solacing the cold shadows. This time, the sun didn't perish, it remained, lighting up the moonless night instead.

Her touch, it warmed him as much as it made him tremble, and he felt grounded, but safe somehow, enough to answer her questions.

"It's you."

And he did.

"Please wake up. I need you."

He spoke the words that had been churning inside him since forever, haunting his soul, needing a way out.

Shravya blinked at his confession, her smile dulling.

"These hands have taken many lives."

His fingers trembled as she reached out, holding his hand and stroking it gently, her eyes now gazing at his palm.

"You had killed a child, then how could you dream of becoming a father of one?"

Suddenly, he felt so small before her, like a criminal before the evidence of his crimes.

"It's time." She took one last look at his palm, her gaze sad as she glanced at him again. "Let the unavoidable take place."

As if pulled by something invisible, Zaid inched closer, his eyes following the movement of her arm, halting upon her dark brown tresses which were pulled into a loose bun, decorated with some black roses.

"I know you can't keep up any longer."

Shravya pulled out one of the roses and tugged it inside the pocket of his shirt, the side where his heart was resting.

"It's better if you give up now."

And, the corner of her lips curled again, akin to the soft smile she first gave him when he appeared there.

Zaid's breath caught in his throat as he watched, helpless, his gaze staying latched on Shravya's form.

Moving, she left a minor kiss on his sealed lips and stood upright, some locks of her hair rustling against the bare skin of her neck as her fingers touched his cheek, caressing it delicately.

"Surrender, Zuzu."

In response to her, his body quivered. His shoulders sagged under the weight of his conflicting emotions, his eyes shifting at the black rose in his shirt's pocket and then back to her.

He didn't answer, not uttering any other word, instead, his arms moved, enveloping her in their embrace, holding onto her with all of his might, for the last time.

The decisive world of dreams blurred and the reality became clearer, an unknown boundary separating both realms.

The tears Zaid shed in the world of illusions accompanied him till the existence of actuality when his eyes flickered open, meeting the surroundings of his office.

His fingers trembled slightly as he wiped the tears away from his eyes, sitting straight.

The residual emotions from the dream lingered in his thoughts like memories, the pain of longing still clinging to his heart.

Bitterness curved his lips into a smile when he glanced at his pocket and found it empty; there was no rose, and neither Shravya was with him.

But his smile turned gentler, spotting her shawl lying in his lap. Carefully putting the soft garment on the other side of the sofa, he stood up, walking over to the window and gazing outside.

The sky was like a cloth, laid upon the battlefield of light and darkness. Its fabric was coloured with the intensity of the war, showcasing the mixed, dark and light, hues of something indefinite.

However, looking closer, it could be seen that the light was winning. Like a dying candle in the shadows, the moon was fading, and the sun was about to rise in mere hours.

Just a few hours.

As he stood in the midst of the voiceless surroundings, a knock on the door suddenly squealed like some small animal.

"Come in."

Just as the approval sounded, the door opened and Raghav entered.

"Everything has been arranged, sir." He walked in briskly as usual, putting some documents neatly on Zaid's working desk. "Please check these out. Just like you asked, she will be here in a few days."

Zaid hummed, not even glancing at him, just blankly staring outside. "Make sure she arrives safely."

"Yes, sir." Raghav nodded, turning to leave when a flitting and defiant thought of someone crossed his mind --- Aqsa Minhas.

He failed to catch her. More than a month has passed, and still, there was no sign of her.

Her body wasn't found, so she wasn't dead for sure. Yet, he couldn't find her.

It was as if she vanished into the thin air, leaving a major black spot on the veneer of his loyalty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time seemed to adore her a little too much.

Even if hours turned one after another, days dissolved into nights, weeks passed unstoppably - it didn't let her wake up, shooing away every cue of change before it could touch her; as if knowing that the world was too cruel for her.

Zaid's aura radiated a strange concoction of regal glory and fervent vulnerability as he stood beside the immobile form of his beloved.

The pale light seeping through the window gave gentle strokes upon Shravya's face, tracing the delicate curve of her cheekbones, emphasizing the horrid serenity that cocooned her.

"I know you're punishing me," he whispered to himself, his fingers brushing against the smooth skin of her cheek tenderly. "This is my punishment for being selfish with you. Isn't it?"

"Even if you would have beat me, tortured me - that kind of punishment wouldn't have hurt this much."

He paused, allowing time to stretch on before continuing.

"But this...this hurts so much. It's like I'm breathing but dying at the same time, that too at a very painful and slow pace."

He smiled faintly, a heartbroken one. "Am I the one who taught you how to be this cruel?"

"I think I am," he let out a mouthful chuckle, his brows drawing together gently, expression softening. "After all, I've always been nothing but heartless when it came to you."

He leaned forward slightly, until his forehead made contact with hers, his eyes closing in contentment, feeling the comfort pool into his bones.

"If you learned my cruel ways, then I think it's fair if I also learn your compassion. Right?" His voice trailed off quietly, letting the silence of his surroundings fill the room as he shifted back before kneeling beside her bed.

Zaid's fingers brushed against Shravya's and he held her hand in a tender connection while his eyes stopped upon the ring on her finger --- it was their wedding ring.

Meticulously, he enclosed her hand in both of his own. His fingertips pressed lightly onto each knuckle as he brought it up to his lips, kissing the smooth surface.

"You don't have to carry this burden anymore."

He looked at her face again, his smile more solemn than it had been seconds ago. And then, he pulled her ring off, freeing her.

"Or ever again. . . . ."

His eyes shimmered with authentic capitulation as he humbled himself before his love.

"I surrender."

He whispered, and a tear escaped his eye, falling onto the soft surface of her palm.

"I surrender."

He remained, clasping her hand, his head bowed in reverence while the tears kept falling out of his eyes, but he wiped their existence away from her, one by one. Leaving nothing of him with her.

Somewhere, there was a regretful and redeeming sentence that was stuck in his throat, wanting to be voiced out also.

I'm sorry. Please forgive me - he desperately wanted to cry out. But he couldn't give in to that sweet urge. His tongue didn't dare move, to utter anything while an unshakeable response screamed in the space of his thoughts.

I'll never forgive you - she, his victim, has promised him once, and no matter what, he really wasn't shameless enough to ask her for forgiveness, for salvation, for some relief.

His love didn't deserve this.

Moreover, he wanted her to keep this promise.

He didn't want to be forgiven, he wanted to be forgotten.

He wanted to be a faded memory, a dark and vile presence who was meant to be buried in the grave of her past.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A heavy air of melancholy hung in the atmosphere of the Grover estate like a chandelier to the ceiling, further garnishing the aura of its owner.

With greatly calculative steps, Zaid descended the stairs, his movements as deliberate as the flawless brush strokes on a canvas.

Beside the end of the staircase, the servants instinctively parted, creating a path leading to the two towering wooden doors.

Their bodies bowed with a grace born from years of practice, heads down and hands clasped together in a display of humility while the silk of their uniforms rustled gently along their precise gestures.

Zaid's gaze lingered on each servant, stopping at a particular figure; Roy. The old butler was standing with Zaid's coat in his hand.

"Please wear this, sir. It's a cold morning outside," with the most respectful voice possible, the butler murmured, halting Zaid's steps.

"Leave it, Roy. I'm alright," Zaid spoke, moving past the old man, who nodded at him, his aged eyes glimmering in response.

At the threshold where a pair of heavy doors stood tall and unwavering, Zaid paused again, his hand resting on the burnished brass handle as he turned to glance at Rudra and Raghav. "Is everything ready?"

"They are already here," Rudra answered.

"Guard the mansion, I don't want any outsiders roaming around here." Zaid nodded, his lips curving into a half-smile as he heaved a deep breath and with a gentle push, allowed the doors to swing open, revealing an enormous crowd of reporters and cameramen.

Letting the doors close behind him, he stepped further, having the reporters bombarding him with question after question, while somewhere, from a small corner of his mind, a familiar voice kept whispering commands to him.

"Mr Grover, can you provide us with details about the motives behind the murders and crimes you've confessed to?"

'Tell them what you have done.'

"Were there any particular criteria or reasons behind the victims you chose?"

'Tell them what you did to me.'

"What compelled you to come forward and confess to these heinous acts now?"

'Tell them how many lives you've ruined.'

"The public is in dilemma and disbelief. Are your confessions true? Half of the people don't want to believe them. They are still in denial."

'Bare your heinous secrets.'

"What are your thoughts on the impact your confession will have on your reputation and legacy?"

'Confess your sins.'

Not even blinking once, he looked straight at the numerous cameras that were flashing lights upon his figure that still stood with a profound supremacy and a dominating poise.

But, for the first time, before the world, his dark eyes showed something more than their familiar abyssic hollowness.

Unknowingly, his gaze gave away the whiffs of his pain to the people, who were too ignorant to catch it.

Within the dark emptiness, his eyes showed how broken he was.

He shouldn't have fallen in love.

Yet, he did and in return, love demanded the fall of his glory, it demanded him to give up with brimming submission ---- and, that's exactly what he did.

He surrendered before his love.

Just a little.

That's all I want.

Just a little hope, a little faith.

A little joy with your grace.

All I want is an embrace full of care.

With a bit of kindness, a bit of peace, this troubled soul of mine can really be at ease.

Just a little affection, a little warmth.

All I need is a drop of love to soothe this restless heart and make it dream.

But, all I have is a devoid.

A loveless life, accompanied by an empty shell of you, which shows no signs of life.

Still, like the fool I am, I've searched high and low.

To find something to fill that emptiness, the void within you, while all I did was feed on your esse.

Like a monster I am, under the delusion of adoration, all I did was tear your body apart, claw your heart out, all along killing your soul.

My world is full of regret and my reality is cruel.

Yet, I dare to crave you.

A little of your compassion.

A little of your love.

Just a little.

That's all I want.

Because now, I want to set you free.

So, I could fall into a slumber.

And, leave.

Quietly.

- Panchi Verma.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Some days later)

Sunlight filtered through the thriving vegetation of the greenhouse, making dappled patterns on the ground beneath.

Shravya's eyes exhibited curiosity as she tried out the various fruits on the plate before her, each one a burst of different flavour against her tongue. Meanwhile, Zaid's nimble fingers delicately peeled a pomegranate, his gaze alternating between the fruit and her presence.

"Sona, have you heard about the Greek mythology of Hades and Persephone?" Zaid suddenly asked, gaining her attention.

"Yes." Slowly chewing the fruit in her mouth, Shravya nodded. "Hades was the king of the underworld and Persephone was the goddess of vegetation. According to the mythology, Hades fell in love with her and abducted her to live with him in the underworld."

"Well, it's also said that he tricked her so she wouldn't leave the underworld." Zaid smiled slightly. "He gifted her a pomegranate and she ate several of its seeds, not knowing that anyone who eats the food of the underworld would be forced to stay there forever."

Softly frowning, Shravya eyed the pomegranate that Zaid was peeling. "Is that a threat?" She mused. "This is so childish."

"Yes, I'm threatening you," he confessed, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips. "What else can I even do?"

"It doesn't matter how much effort I put in, nothing ever seems enough to have you always stay by my side."

He confessed, his voice tinged with a mix of hopelessness and determination.

"It always feels as if the moment I would stop trying, you will slip away from my grasp. You will leave me."

The fragility of the moment hung in the silent atmosphere as Zaid stood from his seat, his movement slow and purposeful.

"But, as long as I exist, only you can own me."

He closed the gap between them, the pomegranate held delicately in his hand while his eyes bore into Shravya's, leaving her agitated when the tip of his finger touched the opening of her lips.

"Zaid can only be Shravya's."

His touch was gentle, almost devout, as he placed a seed of pomegranate in her mouth, repeating the mythical act of Hades. But this was unclear - if it was a trick or a testament?

"And, I promise. . . ."

'I, Zaid Grover will always remain yours' - somehow, he couldn't voice out the last statement.

As Zaid lay on the cold floor of his cell, mindlessly peering at the ceiling despite the lingering shadows and darkness, the memories in his thoughts kept moving, whispering, reminiscing the past.

His surroundings seemed to imitate some hints of a forgotten tale - that he no longer could recall, yet it kept coming like a song that played just beyond the edge of his hearing.

"I, Zaid Grover will always remain yours,"

He whispered softly, the words echoing in his heart, and into the realm of memories that felt unknown yet known at the same time.

He couldn't recall why the shades felt so familiar, as if he had experienced this gloom before.

As if he had done something like this before.

As if he had been in love before.

~ Secrets I have held in my heart,

Are harder to hide than I thought.

Maybe I just wanna be yours.

I wanna be yours.

I wanna be yours. . . ~

If you like the chapter then please follow me PanchiVerma (for Instagram, check out the link in my bio)

So yeah, this was the last chapter of Numb. Now, only two epilogues are left.

Q - Um. Okay, any thought? Any Question?

Q - How was the chapter?

I hope you all liked it, cause gosh! I feel so nervous and sad at the same time.

We're just two epilogues away from the end, and then, it will be goodbye. There will be no more Zaid and Shravya 😭🤧

Anyway, thank you so much for staying with me and supporting my work.

I love you all ❤️💖