A quiet knock interrupted my unabashed sobbing, and I wrenched myself to a stop, hiccuping from the intensity. 

"Um...I know you wanted to have a dramatic exit, but...I'm not leaving." Spiderman said softly, and I heard the sound of fabric sliding against the door and it sounded like he sat down. I didn't answer him, I didn't want to give him any attention for fear I might get attached. 

"If you want, I can find you a change of clothes...I don't think you'd want to show your um..." his voice had been losing volume the longer he talked, and I knew he felt awkward. I still didn't reply, and he sighed and stood up.

"Don't move, I'll be back," he said gently and then I couldn't hear anything. I waited for a solid two minutes before I let my depression drown me. Some days it was like this, suffocating me, but most days, I couldn't feel anything, and personally, I much preferred feeling nothing, because even though I can feel my depression getting worse when I feel nothing, I can only feel it based off of depression symptoms worsening, but when my depression is at my throat, clawing out my jugular, it's so much harder to act normal, to act like I'm okay around my friends.

Not that I have friends to act normal around anymore...

I feel exhausted suddenly, like all my sadness and what little energy I had left had been drained out like blood. I curled up on the stair, and closed my eyes, feeling myself fall asleep, and I wished again like always, that I would never wake up again.

*

My eyes wrenched open, and I looked around, but my head wouldn't move. A sense of dread started growing through me. "Sleep Paralysis.." Panic bloomed in my chest like a venomous flower, and I desperately writhed in my subconscious, but my body didn't move. A black figure was at the bottom of the stairs, not quite as illuminated as I expected, due to there only being one light in the stairway. They climbed the steps as if they were made of oil, and my heart squeezed. I focussed on moving my toes, praying to god I could wake up.

"It's a dream, it's not real. It's a dream, it's not real." I chant in my head, a second shadow looms down the stairs, a light source brighter than the ceiling lamp illuminating their shadow. My heart seized and I could feel my foot finally start to move. I worked desperately at moving my arms, as the oily monstrosity grew closer, its coloring like tar. I can fee my body spasming as I wrench at my muscles like a puppeteer. My eyes shoot open for real now, and I launch myself backward, as far away from where the fake creature was, but I crash into something-someone.

"Woah, are you okay? Your body was spasming all over the place." Spiderman's concerned voice echoes in the stairwell. I clutch my chest, willing the pain my anxiety brought on to leave. I don't respond for fear my voice would shake or maybe I wouldn't be able to talk at all. I can hear his frustrated sigh as he sits beside me, and he wraps my long sleeved shirt and hoodie around my shoulders. I look over my shoulder at him questioningly and i can see his mask move into the shape of a smile.

"I went back to the same building and looked all around the building. I assumed these were yours..?" He says to me, I nod, and quickly pull on my long sleeved shirt, feeling extraordinarily uncomfortable and exposed with my cuts showing. I'm still calming down as I pull my hood up over my (h/c) hair, and relax into the bagginess of my black sweatshirt. Silence ensues, and he sighs, standing.

"I'll take you home, or close to there if you don't trust me, I can't just leave you like this." He says to me. I feel a bite of annoyance, knowing he means he can't leave me at the top of a tall building. One I might say, leap off of. I stand shakily, and I can almost feel the concern emanating off of him as he leads me outside. Unsure of what to do, he awkwardly tries to ask how we should do this, and since I sure as hell was not about to let myself be princess carried away, I walk behind him and jump on his back. But it was a pathetic jump since I could barely get my arms around his neck. He laughs with an air of surprise and catches me from behind my knees, jumping to hoist me up higher. He lets go of one of my knees and walks to the edge of the building, jumping off with no warning and giving a whoop. I roll my eyes, but still find it somewhat adorable. 

I rest my cheek on his shoulder and close my eyes, mumbling which place and street to drop me off at, and I let my emotions sink away.