yes, this is based off of the song by Marina

and

the song is How to Be a Heartbreaker by Marina

betcha didn't see that one coming XD

fuckboii! jeremy
yeet

TW: suicide.....

Jeremy's POV

Rule #1

yeah, I guess you could say I'm a bit of a player, or a fuckboy (bubblegum bitch, if you will).

Is that you gotta have fun.

Using people for my own sexual desire. Hurting people, leaving them emotionally scarred.

But, baby, when you're done,
you gotta be the first to run.

But, what can I say? It's usually hella fun, and I get attention because of it. Besides, I've had my heartbroken before, and I never want that shit to happen to me again. So I'll be the cause of the heartbreak

Rule #2

Usually. Note how I said usually it's fun.

Just don't get attached to,

Except for one time.

Somebody you could lose.

There was this one kid, Michael. He didn't deserve what I did to him. He didn't deserve to be fucked with like that.

So le-let me tell you

He was the one person I hated doing this shit to him. The one person I regretted.

This is how to be a heartbreaker

We were in Junior year. He was that one kid that we all collectively agreed was a geek.  He was shy-ish. I was told if you got to know him, he was a great guy.

Boys they like a little danger

So I did get to know him.

We'll get 'em falling for a stranger, a player

In the worst way possible.

Singing' I l-l-love you

I already had intentions on dating with him, toying with his emotions, and dropping him.

How to be a heartbreaker
boys they like the look of danger

He already knew who I was, who didn't? Everybody knows about the local fuckboy ™. 

We'll get 'em falling for a stranger, a player, singin' I l-l-love you,

After a few weeks of hanging out with each other, he asked me out. Like every other dude/chick before him. Typical. But, of course, I said yes.

at least I think I do!
('cause I l-l-l-love you)

And just like everyone else, he thought I'd change for him. It's sad. Because I want to change. But I hate change. And I hate heartbreak. I physically can't handle it.

Rule #3 wear your heart on your cheek,

We got even closer when we "dated." He trusted me completely, with everything. I couldn't. I can't. Last time I did I... Whatever! The point is I knew basically everything about him, his past, why he wasn't really social,  the list goes on.

but never on your sleeve
unless you wanna taste defeat.

Everyone was right. He was a great guy once he opened up to you. Really. He's the last person who genuinely made me happy ever. And I swear, his geeky-ness is a disease, that once you meet him, you catch it. And his chocolate brown eyes were so adorable.

Rule #4

Too bad I cheated on him too many times to count (oops! betcha didn't see that one coming), and broke up with him so harshly, and was kinda always intoxicated in one way or another, and the list goes on. 'Cause maybe then those chocolate brown eyes would still be somehow in my life.

gotta be lookin' pure
kiss him goodbye at the door
then leave him wanting more, more

(A/N: this has nothing to do with anything but Voices In My Head just came on and I was singing along and I said "complement her on her toes" and now I'm dying imagining Jeremy going up to Christine like "hey, um, nice toes you got there... wanna go out?" or sum shit and then she rejects him and always remembers him as "the kid who asked him out with his toe fetish" and never wore any shoes that didnt cover her toes again XD....

back to the story)

Anyways, one day when I was officially bored and done with him (and admittedly a little tipsy), I hooked up with a dude. A forgettable dude, didn't even know the guy's name.

This is how to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like a little danger

I knew Michael was only going to be going to 7/11 (which is literally like a 20 minute walk there and back, and he took like 5 minutes in the store on average), and some horny dude from school had DMed me before. I got back to the horny dude and we fucked.

We'll get 'em falling for a stranger
A player
Singing I l-l-love you

Poor Michael walked in on his "boyfriend" (me, duh) doing some very, uh, very kinky shit with another guy.

At least I think I do

I thought I would get the normal reaction. Shocked face, then screaming at the other dude, making him leave, then screaming at me. Saying stuff about how I said I would "change."

Girls we do whatever it will take
'Cause girls don't want
We don't want our hearts to break

There was definitely shock in his face, and ge did ask the dude to get out, but didn't scream, he asked very politely for him to get out. Once the dude left, I was prepared for the screaming, as it always comes.

In two

It didn't come though. He just asked me in a broken voice "Why?"

So it's better to be fake

And, just the tone of his voice, and how he was on the verge of tears, and the disappointment in his face. It made me break. And that was the moment I realized:

Can't risk losing

I had legitimately fallen for him and didn't even realized. Also that I dun fucked up.

In love again, but hey

I cried. And I internally hated myself. I let myself fall again. I promised I wouldn't. Why was I so stupid? Why did I let it happen? Why didn't I cut him off after a month? But that was all on the inside. On the outside I told him that it was his fault. My mouth started going, like it had its own brain.

This is how to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like a little danger

If before he wasn't crying, he definetly was now. I felt bad, but couldn't show it. I wanted to apologize but I couldn't. That would be so weak of me. It would break down the walls that took so long to put and keep up.

We'll get 'em falling for a stranger
A player
Singing I l-l-love you

So, me, being the dumbass I am, kept telling him shit to keep him down. I told him i hated him. And that if he had kept me content in the relationship. I kept yelling.

How to be a heartbreaker
Boys they like the look of danger

I'm not gonna go into depth on the rest of it. We just broke up.

We'll get 'em falling for a stranger
A player
Singing I l-l-love you

A week later I was called down to the principal's office. He handed me a letter.

At least I think I do

A suicide note. Michael George (cuz I'm so dang creative with middle names) Mell's suicide note.

1236 words

Oof

I'm sorry

Kinda a lil bit edited...