All the chapters are owned by the author of Lou Connor.

Thanks for giving me a opportunity to write this book.

I believe I did a good job of it.

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This is Lou Connor. I can't believe that I am writing a diary now. My educational knowledge has been improving after the incident.

This diary has been my best friend. Chase and I are not as close as we once were. Our conversations are less frequent than before.

Is this how normal people live? I have never lived a normal life. There has always been a knife hanging above my head. I am used to living in a state of panic always.

My biological dad is in jail now. My biological mom has given up the pretense of caring for me. She is now in her home. I am currently living in my home with my new dad, John.

I have now accepted the fact that John is my dad. He was delighted when I started calling him Dad. When my life was bad nothing was good except for Chase, but now everything is good except Chase.

I hate him. I don't matter to him. He doesn't care about me at all. When I was kept captive in my biological dad's house, I didn't expect my biological mom to come.

Instead, I expected my Dad and Chase to come for me, but Chase didn't come at all. When I came home, I expected to find Chase waiting for me.

I knew that he wouldn't kiss me after the incident, but I at least expected a hug. If not a hug, then the least he could have done was given me a smile.

However, he was not even home. It was as if he didn't care if I was safe or not. Why should he care? He just used me like a teddy bear to cuddle.

Every time I asked him if our kisses meant anything to him, he would either say that they didn't or simply not reply at all. I don't care about him, and I don't need his cuddles too now. I have peaceful nights.

Bye diary. I will write to you tomorrow

********************

I went to the kitchen.

Suddenly, I bumped into someone. I raised my head to see Chase. My coffee had spilled all over his shirt. I feel like I am seeing a different person whenever I look at him nowadays. He has been acting like a zombie since he came home. He doesn't smile or eat properly anymore.

Even now, when I spilled hot coffee on his chest, he doesn't show any sign of pain or frustration. He doesn't even acknowledge me. Instead, he walked away as if nothing ever happened. What happened to him?

Should I go and talk with him? No, why should I? If I don't matter to him, then he doesn't matter to me.

I went to get some ice cream. My desire for ice cream was something, which was the same for the old Lou and the new Lou.

I was busy with my head down eating my ice cream when I bumped into someone again. If it was Chase, I really didn't want to see him again. I wanted to keep my gaze downward, but my mind didn't obey me. Instead, it made my eyes look upward to see that I had actually bumped into Dad.

He looks sad and doesn't acknowledge me either. As I watched him walk and sit in the chair, I could help but think that he shouldn't be sad. He should be happy for his daughters return. Then I noticed that his forehead has few worry lines, but nothing too marked and I don't miss the deep purple dark circles underneath his eyes either.

What is with these people? I was a zombie, and I am living my life now. I never thought I would have a family. Now, I have a family, and Chase is a part of it. He did many things for me, and I won't forget it.

I went and sat in the chair opposite to Dad. I can't decide what my relationship with Chase is. Is he like a brother to me?

NO! We have kissed. We can't be siblings. That would be awkward.

I would know more than anyone that family members kiss, but Chase is not like that and neither are his kisses. I am not like that. When I needed affection, Chase gave it. He was the only reason why I was able to go to sleep many nights.

Now, there is a huge barrier between Chase and me. Why am I feeling guilty? I didn't leave him. He left me. He left me so that he can return to his perfect worry-free life.

Chase never had any reason to cry. Life was always great for him. He didn't have to worry about anything. I thought that the only thing he ever worried about was me, but Chase proved that he doesn't worry about me.

I looked at my Dad. He was sitting there looking as if one of his hotels were going through a heavy loss. What is with this house? There is always someone, who seems sad in it. Initially, it was me, but now I am smiling and these two are not.

I can't take it anymore. I want everyone to happy.

"What happened, Dad?"

"Nothing."

"I can see that there is something is wrong."

"Nothing new Lou."

"My problem was the only old one. Is it coming back?"

"No, it is not." I don't want it to come back too.

"Then what is the problem?" My short temper is still with me too, it seems.

"Don't you remember Chase?"

Of course, I remember Mr PERFECT. What is his problem anyways? Chase doesn't have any problems. He lives a problem-free life. He doesn't have to worry about anything. He doesn't have any reason to cry. He didn't have anything to cause him to have sleepless nights.

I thought Chase would be worried about me. I thought he would have sleepless nights because of worry about me. I thought he would care for me, but he didn't care at all. He didn't care even when I was kidnapped.

I can't believe I thought about telling him about the letters I received from my biological dad. I didn't think about telling Dad about them. I chose Chase, but he didn't even care about what happened to me.

"Yeah, that perfect guy who didn't even care to know what happened to me when I was kidnapped by my biological dad."

"Well that guy has not been eating at all. His eyes show that he hasn't been sleeping too. It affected him a lot."

What affected him? Surely, it is not me. Chase has a perfect life. Nothing can affect him like this. Maybe he has insomnia.

"What is he saying to you, Lou?"

When did I talk to him? I never talked with him. Why should I talk?

He didn't talk to me either. What is stopping him?

What is on his mind now? Why is he not eating or sleeping?

"He surely loved his mother."

"What does she have to with his behaviour?"

"He misses his mother."

"Then tell him to go see her." When I finished this, Dad was shocked. I didn't say anything wrong. Why can't he just go and hug his mom in his home? I am sure his mom is not like mine.

"I know that there is a misunderstanding between you both, but that doesn't mean you can ask him to die."

What? When did I ask him to die? "What are you talking about?"

"Do you know about his mom or not?"

"I ... I don't know... about her."

"She died Lou."

I really felt sad for Chase. I don't know much about having a family as I have only recently felt like I was a part of one. Being without a family for so long, it made me realise the importance of it.

"When did she die Dad?"

"Right before you were rescued."

Is that why Chase was not here when I came home? Is that why he is not eating or sleeping?

"I know that there is some misunderstanding between you two, but this is not the time to show it, Lou. Chase needs you, Lou."

Yes, he helped me. It's time for me to help him. Its time I help him sleep. Its time I have him in my arms and hold him while he sleeps. It's time I console him in his bad times.

Its time I make him sleep by cuddling him.

I absentmindedly walked to Chase's room. I entered his room. He was looking at the ceiling as if it had a good painting on it. He didn't notice me coming inside. I went and sat beside him.

I hugged him from the side and kissed his cheek. Then I lay on the bed and opened my arms. "Come let's sleep Chase."

He leaned in and snuggled on my chest. He started crying and his tears wetted my shirt.

He held me whenever I was in bad state, and now it's my turn to console him.

"Let's sleep Chase. I am here with you and I will be with you always."

******

Did you like it?

Thanks again @cchowmei for giving me a opportunity sis.

TAKE CARE BE SAFE AND STAY BLESSED.

-YAGAPPAR