It's still Christmas. Continuing (that spelling feels so wrong) on from the last chapter are yall ready for some possibility good writing for once?

Hahaha me too never have high expectations. Love yas.

From last chapter:

It's now or never she thought and leaned in to kiss him, but backed out last minute so she just kissed his cheek.

"You missed" he murmured

"What?" She questioned, her face full of confusion.

"Fuck it"

He pulled her in for a chaste kiss and for a second she didnt move. Just as he was about to pull away, she wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss.

When they broke apart they lay their foreheads together and both smiled contentedly.

"How did we get here?" She laughed.

Now, moving on.

Their foreheads lay together for another minute before either of them spoke up again.

"I have been waiting to do that since I was eleven" James hummed happily as he stared into her eyes.

Lily on the other hand, didnt know what to do. It had only been around two weeks since she starting knowing about her crush on James. It was just so confusing. Why did everything have to be so fucking confusing? But it was something else. Yes she definitely knew about the "mutual liking" in their relationship as of now but it was just something more. Sometimes he felt like an anchor for her. Sometimes he fought through her nightmares and saved her from reliving memories over and over again.

Lily Evans and James Potter. Two names that should have never came together but why did she feel like she would never be able to live without him? It's a fact, Never depend on someone for your own happiness, but how was she supposed to be happy if he wasnt by her side forever? He was the constant light in her life even when she didnt realise it. When she hated him with a passion but he had never once made her cry? He made her feel pretty on days where she felt her worst, not his constant uncomfortable public displays of false affection to attract the most amount of attention he could, but his subtle compliments. Not about her looks, although he mentioned them enough, but small things about her personality. It never meant much to her at the time because it was Potter, why should she listen to him? But later she would think back to them and realise that they meant a lot. A simple

"you did good work in charms today. I liked the spell you choose"

Went a lot further than either if them thought it would.

How was she supposed to go on from this? How was she supposed to say no? That  they wouldn't work out because she liked him too much? It couldnt be love. It was too quick to be love. But why did she love him so fucking much. It wasnt love that was meant to be. There is a war going on and they are fighting on a losing side right now and to fall in love? She couldnt do that to him. Not right now anyways and it pained her.

She looked into his eyes one more time as hers brimmed with tears. His wide smile slowly dropped into a frown.

"Evan's?" His voice echoed in the empty kitchen. It made him sound cold even though his voice was full of love and concern.

"We cant do this James" she whispered.

"I cant do this. Not now. I cant do this to you" the tear slid down to the corner if her mouth and her voice trembled. She held in a sob as his contact to her left and he stood up straight.

"But why? It's ok with us being friends and holding in any feeling that we have for eachother until it physically pains us but this cant happen?" He hadnt intended it to come out so angrily, he was just so confused at how she could smile and kiss him like that but quickly change thoughts. It hurt like a sharp stab to the chest. Right in his heart that had been so inflated with joy and the love he had so desperately been waiting for, for years and it felt so good for a minute.

"Why can you just let it happen? It's meant to happen" he whispered.

"Because I want it to happen so fucking bad James. I want to love you and to be loved by you. I want you to cuddle me and bring me on walks and listen to me read stupid books at night. I want you to lay in bed with me and just hold my hand until we both fall asleep. And I want you to hold me and I want you to kiss me until I'm out of breath. I want to hug you and walk to class with you and listen to you tell your stupid jokes to me. I want to grow old with you and I want to argue with you and make up minutes later because I cant live without you!"  She took a second to gasp for ait not looking at James's expression scared that she would stop.

"And I have no fucking clue why! But i cant because we are in the middle of a war that neither of us will survive and that's being realistic. But I cant stop myself. I'm in love with you but I cant be. I want to hold you, And kiss you, and love you and cuddle with you but I cant." She took a deep breath and decided to look at his face.

A few stay tears cascaded down his face. She was right but so so wrong. She went to get off the counter but before you could get down he stopped her.

"We are in the middle of a war Lily. You're right. You always are. But right now you couldnt be more wrong. I love you and I have loved you for years and now you love me? I'm not giving up the only good thing that could come out of this wat. Yes, we probably wont make it out of this war alive so what better time to fall in love? We domt have a lot of time is what I mean so let's make the most of the time we've got. Look at Sirius and Marlene, Tonks and Remus, blimey even Remus and Sirus! Do you see them trying to fight their feeling for eachother. They are embracing any and all moments they get together. If you dont want to be with me just say so but I know for a fact I would spend my forever with you Lily Evans"

"I want to spend my forever with you too"

"Good"

James just stood there for a minute not knowing what to do.

"You know what? I love fuck it  moments" Lily exclaimed with a smile.

"What?" But he was cut off as the red head jumped into his arms.

He cupped her face and graced his thumb across her cheekbone to wipe the tear that was there from the previous moment, and leaned in.
Their lips connected and this kiss was different to the first. It was a little akward at first but they just melted into it.

James swiped his tongue on her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to give him access. He pulled her closed and rested one hand on her cheek and the other on her waist. Lily's hands were tangled in his hair.

They pulled apart for just a second.

"Yeah I'm never leaving you James. Your stuck with me from now on" she joked. His chest grumbled beneath her as he laughed.

"Wouldnt have it any other way Flower" and he joined their lips again.

This kiss was softer and more gentle that the others that were filled with desperation. This one was full of love.

-------------------------------------------

"Are we just going to pretend that they arent right outside the door?" Lily asked as she rested her head on her boyfriends shoulder.

"Give me the piece of toast you were holding. Also why did you have toast?" His eyebrows rose in amusement.

"Your mum gave it too me but yeah here" she gave him the food and he walked over to the door and quickly opened it causing the four teens to fall through.

"Morning marauders and Marlene. Anyone fancy some toast" he smirked and thew it at Remus's head.

Lily just quietly laughed in the background.

"At least your finally getting some James" Sirius returned his smirk and they both sneered at eachother.

"So. How did you get here?"

"Through the kitchen door-"

Remus just lobbed the bread back at his friends head, causing the messy haired boy to yelp lose his staring battle with Sirius.

"Boys" Sirius shook his head.

"I think you're a dud-"

"Ah they grow up so fast," he sighed.

"Who are you even talking to-"

It's ya gurl the author. Who has never been kissed. So sorry for that one bit. Also never been in love. Maybe just skip this chapter it's for the best. Lily's morals make so sense but it was an idea I had and I knew I'd forget it so you're welcome.

Also 2 updates in a matter of days? Whaaaaaaa.

I need to be stopped. Anyways love yas new chapters coming soon and this is very much unedited so ignore the mistakes please and thank you <3