Samantha

On Sunday at 7 in the morning, I dragged my mattress to the living room.

One of the top iconic photos for couples was waking up to a beautiful view. Well, the floor-to-ceiling window in the living room had the most gorgeous jacaranda tree. It stretched across the communal backyard, and this particular windy morning, it was raining purple petals!

The day was packed back-to-back with photoshoots, which I'd planned according to the trend graphs and content charts on my bedroom wall. Or as Ashton liked to call it: Sam's lunatic murder conspiracy board.

I had bronzed my body to look sun-kissed, fixed my phone on a tripod, arranged a breakfast-in-bed, and tucked the white sheets under my armpits to give the illusion of being naked (in reality, I was in a white tube top and pajama shorts).

Ashton was twenty minutes late. Then he finally moseyed in⁠, his electrocuted hair a lopsided bird's nest⁠, and squinted his eyes open.

"Why the hell do you look like a shiny cheese puff?"

"WHAT?" I looked at my chest with drugstore tanning lotion. "Is it really that bad?"

"You look like you rolled yourself in a bag of Doritos. No. You look like Donald Trump. No, wait." Still squinting, he tilted his head and snapped his fingers with satisfied finality. "You look like you work for Willy Wonka."

"I look like an Oompa-Loompa?!"

"A sexy Oompa-Loompa, if that helps." He smirked and pulled his track jacket's zipper⁠.

Oh my goodness, he was shirtless underneath. I uh, adjusted the breakfast tray which needed... no adjusting.

"Alright, what are we doing first?" He groaned, making his way down on the mattress.

"Um, I was thinking cuddling." I rotated the cereal bowl. Okay, look at him. LOOK AT HIM, dumb ass, this was your idea.

Ashton was picking an eye booger, then yawned with his mouth as big as possible. "Yeah, okay."

"Oh! Can we look at the poses I sent you? My phone is taking pictures every three seconds, so we don't have to worry. Let's just try to mimic what's online."

"Sure." He entered his passcode right in front of me like he didn't care that I could see it. He had a mean puffy face as he scrolled through our messages. "This picture?"

"Yup, perfect." I hardly even looked, I don't know why I asked to see it. Act casual, come on. "Okay, let's do it. On your back, please."

His chuckle held awkwardness as he lied on his back and folded one arm behind his back.

"This is normal, this is totally normal stuff..." I sang to myself as I covered his track pants with the sheets. "See, now you look naked like me."

"Awesome..."

"Here I go, lying on your chest..."

"Do you have to narrate everything?"

"Cuddling your chest as we speak. There goes my leg—oop, too high. Too low. Okay. Uh-huh. I'm like a koala bear, huh? Hold on."

Ashton cleared his throat and coughed as I tried to settle in. He had such a stiff chest, it was like sleeping on a wooden board. I climbed a little higher until my head was under his chin and rested my cheek on a soft cushion by his armpit.

"Oh, wow!" I rubbed my face into it. "This part is cozy..."

"Why are you squirming so much?"

"Oh. Sorry." I giggled, covering my face from the camera. "Okay, let's focus. We're at work."

He sighed like he was holding back his frustration. For a minute, all I could hear were the birds chirping outside, my shallow breathing, and his fast heartbeat against my ear.

Out of nowhere, he started to trace his fingers up and down my arm. Light like a feather and slow.

"That's nice..." I closed my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." I smiled. The tingles on my skin fizzed like bottled soda. I had to squeeze my legs around his thigh to release some energy.

I was about to doze off and maybe nap on him when he shoved his hand under the sheets and groped my ass. My eyes shot wide open, and I yelped as he threw me on top of him.

"What are you doing?!" I scrambled up.

"Are you taking pictures? Or fucking with me?" His voice was so thick, it left me tongue-tied.

I didn't know what to focus on. My boobs pushing out of my tube top? My thighs spread and straddling him? Or the fact that his thumbs were stroking them under the sheets?

"Man, the SHIT that left my body belonged in a museum!" Some random guy on the phone walked past our window with a laundry basket. "It was SO long I had to stand for it to fall off my ass."

Ashton and I froze, praying to go unnoticed. The moment the stranger slipped into the laundry room, I flew off of Ashton and curled into a ball.

"Ohhhh. Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

Now he'd never take me seriously. This was supposed to be professional, and I was rubbing myself on him. I needed to freakin' focus!

Meanwhile Ashton was laughing in defeat. "Who the fuck calls to talk about their shit?"

"Let's just move on, okay? Here. Can we act like we're eating?" I brought the breakfast tray closer us we sat up and faced each other.

The neighbor's kids ran out to play ball.

"Here! Just take the cereal and look at me. I swear it'll be quick." I handed Ashton the bowl and crouched to pull the sheets off.

"Stop! What are you doing? Why are you taking them off?" Ashton fisted the sheets around him.

The kids yelled louder and louder; coming close.

"They're going to think we're naked, let it go!" I finally jerked the sheets off his lap and realized why he was trying to stop me. He had a large tent in his pants. Rock. Hard. "Oh, that's worse—"

A basketball smacked our window and I flinched so hard, I hit the cereal bowl. It fell on us. White gooey liquid dripped from my hair, down to the side of my face, pooling on Ashton's lap.

"The fuck?!" He snapped, staring at his hands. "Why is it so fucking sticky?"

"It's glue..." I whimpered. "It's a photo hack. Real milk sinks the cereal... it doesn't look good."

~

As I washed the glue out of my hair in the shower, I wondered why I was born. Our failed photoshoot was all my fault. I had no control around Ashton. I acted like a horn dog and humped him like he was a fire hydrant.

Now every kid around the block would know me as the girl with white liquid on her face kneeling over Ashton's lap. The day was a disaster and it had barely even started. 

We still had to fake a cooking session in the kitchen, then have picnic at a park with a cheese board and books, and finish with a Netflix movie night with popcorn and string lights.

But now, as I was changing into high-waisted shorts and contouring my face, I wasn't sure this would work anymore. I was a nervous wreck around him. It'd be easier to do this with Luka. He loved social media anyway. I wasn't attracted to him. We'd have so much fun together.

After baking my raccoon eyes, slimming my crooked nose, and over lining my chapped lips, all I needed was an Instagram filter to mimic a plastic surgery and I'd be good to go. Ashton hadn't seen me without makeup yet, and I was dreading the day that he would happen.

Padding into the kitchen, I bent over to pull out colorful bowls for the pictures.

"Hey, зайчик. You ready to go?"

Speak of the devil. He leaned against the counter with a cup of black coffee. Black like his slim jeans and cotton shirt. His hair—now tamed with a product—was rich like chocolate in daylight.

So casual, so unbothered. I had no chance with him or around him. I pressed my back against the fridge to create more distance between us.

"You good?" His dark eyes watched me over the mug.

"I was thinking... maybe it'd be better if I do this influencer thing with Luka."

He watched me for a moment, and I tried to maintain eye-contact. Please don't be mad at me.

"How come?" He sipped on his coffee.

Oh, thank God he wasn't offended. "Ugh, honestly Ashton, 'cause I feel so guilty!"

"Why? What do you feel guilty for?"

"Just the way I am! The way I think. It's so...ugh, I hate it. I hate that I'm like this. I can't do it."

"Wait. Hold on." He set the mug down. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No! No, are you kidding? I'm the problem! I'm the one..." I groaned from how much it hurt to admit it, but he had to know. He deserved it. "Okay...I think I'm just a little...a little too... attracted to you? No, wait! That's not what I meant." I hid behind my hands. "Ugh God, I meant I'm being a pervert towards you!"

"A pervert towards me?" He was smiling, I just knew he was.

"Yes. It's not funny!" I cried out, then started laughing with him. "It's not funny...I'm serious. Ashton, it's so bad. I look at you like you're a snack or something. What's wrong with me?" I dropped my hands so he saw I was serious. "You know I haven't pooped yet in this apartment? That's how bad it is? I'm scared to poop."

"What! How is that possible? You've been living here for two weeks!"

"I know! I think I need to go to the hospital. I've pooped like twice at Starbucks, but that's about it. I don't know how it's possible for my body to store so much food."

"You need some laxatives."

"Don't talk about laxatives!" I turned and opened the fridge, then closed it. "Oh my God, I was just trying to say I'm sorry for sexualizing you."

"Aw. I'm actually so glad that you're sexualizing me."

I scowled over my shoulder, but he was giving me this tender, amused look.

"What's wrong with you?" I went to wash my hands in the sink, which put me right next to him. He could definitely feel the heat of mortification seeping from my body.

"What's wrong with me? Um, aside from trying not to jerk off to you every day and getting boners every time you blink? Not much."

My mouth hung open. "Bullshit."

"You really think I'm kidding?"

"I think you're trying to make me feel better." I rolled my eyes, turning the water off.

"Wow. You actually think I don't feel the same way about you?" He was burning holes into my profile. "Hey. Look at me." He hooked his finger into my belt loop and twisted me to him.

I tried to focus on his stern face and not the butterflies in my belly.

Something in my reaction softened him. "Hey, can I make a suggestion?"

"Did you just ask for permission? That's new."

He deadpanned. "I was going to say, why don't we postpone the photoshoot for today and just spend time together? I mean..." He grimaced, lifting a shoulder. "We've made out in this kitchen. Now we live together and we need to fake a relationship. Cuddling half-naked was a lot to start off with. So, I think if we chill today, maybe get to know each other, we'll both be more comfortable next time we take pictures."

He was struggling with this whole thing just like me? So my reaction was actually normal? This was such a breath of relief, especially from someone who made me forget about oxygen.

"You mean like a casual day? As two humans?"

"I hope so." He chuckled through his nose. "We can go out somewhere, or stay in and watch TV. Whatever you want. Just tell me."

"Hmm..." I bit my lip, imagining the scenarios. "Well, with my lovely neuroticism and anxiety, I can't imagine how anything could go wrong."

Again, he gave me a dry look. "We're going to have to work on you being so hard on yourself."

"See, that's exactly the type of thing I'll take the wrong way and sexualize you for. Don't."

"How is that even sexual?" He tried not to laugh. "I think you're a bigger pervert than me."

"Hundred percent I am, no doubt about it." He really, really, really had no idea.

"Okay, what do you want to do today?"

I made a yikes face and took a deep breath. "If I'm being honest, there's this one thing..."

"What?"

I gave him a sheepish smile. "Can we get baked?"

~A/N~
Oooooh, how's that going to go? Hehe
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