My eyes opened and I was almost completely engulfed by darkness. The hazy glow of a gas station was the only light cutting through the fog. I frantically glanced around in confusion, wondering how I ended up here.

I could see a man standing beside a gas pump and a familiar car. As I walked closer, I noticed his brown skin, and dark curls. My father.

Suddenly, my heart sank to my stomach as everything came rushing back to me.

This day.

This gas station.

We had to leave and it had to be now.

I ran towards him, but I seemed to be moving in slow motion. much longer than I expected. Though my legs were doing their best to move me forward, it seemed as if I was getting nowhere. My lungs were working overtime as I gasped for air.

By the time I got to my dad, a shadow had crept up behind him. A large looming shadow, that seemed darker than the unknown surrounding the gas station. I glanced up into the hooded face of a killer. Eyes filled with hatred as he uttered racial slurs and epithets.

I began to pull my dad's hands as I tried screaming. But the words were stuck in my throat. My dad's eyes widened and I tried to drag him away, move him to safety, but my fingertips were slipping.

Suddenly, he went limp and I raised a hand to see it was covered in bright red blood. A sinister chuckle came from behind my father's body and finally a scream escaped my lips.

I sat up in my bed gasping for air, my cheek wet with tears. It was that awful nightmare again. It was usually the same, but tonight's racial undertones were a new addition. Logically, I knew it was my mind trying to make sense of Irene's explanation but it didn't make me feel any better.

I crawled over to my window and opened it, before sitting up on the ledge. The cold air felt like a welcomed shock to my body. While the nightmare was still on my mind, it somehow stopped the anxiety response in my body. I was okay with that.

I was so okay with it, that I decided to sit up on that ledge for another couple hours instead of going back to sleep. And when I was too cold, I sat back on my bed under the covers with the window open so that the air would remain on my face.

I put headphones on and decided to listen to music, starting with "Guns for Hands" by twenty one pilots. It seemed a fitting song to start and the rest of the album would be good to continue with until the sun finally came up.

***

I decided to skip school the next morning. Linda was understanding about it and decided to spend the day at home as well. Though she said she was able to work from home and had some household things to take care of, I had a feeling she was really just here to keep an eye on me. Regardless, I spent the day in my room.

I switched between playing guitar, listening to music on the ledge of my window, and trying to sleep – which was more like staring at the ceiling.

Though I got several missed calls from Mason, I couldn't bring myself to answer the phone. I couldn't think about him right now. I couldn't think about anyone. All I wanted was to stay here in my bubble.

Maybe Linda was right yesterday, but maybe that nightmare was a sign or an omen. Maybe it was warning me that healing and good wouldn't come and that things wouldn't change. And if I let myself love Mason maybe things wouldn't be okay.

_____

Author's Note: Happy Tuesday! I hope you liked this chapter!  Poor Charlie retreating into her shell... What do you think will happen next?

Don't forget: a new chapter is coming next week!

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