We played a few more rounds of Never Have I Ever, with the circle of people playing this stupid game increasing. The scenarios were all over the place from "never have I ever had brown eyes" to "never have I ever went bungee jumping", so shots were being poured left, right, and centre.

"Okay. Okay. Okay. Never, have I eeeever, dyed my –" I giggle. "Dyed. Never dyed. I never died. Have you guys?" I slurred. Everything was spinning and I couldn't stop laughing. Lacey and Andre had abandoned the game and were now in the corner swapping spit – oops, I meant making out. 

"No, we haven't died... or we'd be dead." A guy yelled in annoyance. "Someone else go!"

"I will!" A girl called out.

"I used to wish I died," I mumbled under my breath and then laughed, shocked that it escaped from my lips.

"She's out. No more shots," Zoe, who was right beside me, said suddenly. She pulled my cup away from me gently.

"Party pooper!" I pouted. I stood up and wobbled. I moved to the music and smiled. "Now, this! This is fun!" I swayed.

Who cares if I am all by myself? I am having a blast and not thinking about anything bad.

"Hey kids, 60 seconds! Come be with your families!" Someone called from upstairs. I frowned as all the teenagers began walking up the stairs.

Lucky people with families...I thought. ...or actually they are unlucky. So unlucky. They don't know how easy it is to tear one apart. Rip it to shreds.

I stopped my thoughts, feeling a sickly feeling in my stomach. I rushed to the bathroom and threw open the door before dropping to my knees. Surprisingly, I didn't throw up like I thought I would. Instead I burst into tears.

Tears that wouldn't stop. Tears that seemed to flow unendingly. I stumbled towards the door and slammed it shut. I was so shocked with myself that it made me cry harder.

I mean, what am I doing? Drunk on New Years Eve crying in a bathroom? It is so pathetic and unlike me.

As much as I'd wanted to lie to myself and say I didn't know why I was crying, I did. And it made me that much angrier knowing that I was throwing myself a pity party with the guest of honour being Irene Daniels.

Thinking of her name made me sob harder. I pressed my cheeks to the cold porcelain bathtub, my tears rolling down my cheeks and nose. I hated that I was so angry all the time. I hated that I was slumped over crying on someone's bathroom floor. I hated that I was crying because of my mother. But most of all, I hated that I didn't hate her, like I wanted to.

Well, Emery was right. "She's going to pretend everything is okay for as long as she can stand it. Then, she's going to snap Mason. She's going to break like glass hitting the floor and you have to be there to help glue the pieces back together." She had said.

I sighed.

In this moment, I was breaking. I was falling apart and there was no one here to pick up the pieces. There was no Mason. There was no Emery. There was only me. There is always only me.

Author's Note: Happy Tuesday! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!  

Poor Charlie! Not the most fun way to end her first night of a New Year! :( What do you think will happen next? Drop a comment below.

New chapter coming next week, so stay tuned to find out!