ATLAS

EVERYONE YELLED "Cheers!" in unison as we all drank from our red cups of booze.

"Ibang klase ka talaga magpa-party, Cash! Sino ba namang magre-renta nang ganitong kalaki at kamahal na resort para lang sa birthday? Puwede ka ng magpakain ng isang barangay sa ginastos mo dito, e!" sabi ni Pearl. Halatang lasing na siya dahil mas doble na ang kadaldalan niya.

"What are you expecting? As far as saving money is concerned, I'm not a slob! So why not take a break and have some fun with your friends?" We all cracked up when Cash responded.

It was Luca's turn to chuckle as he exclaimed, "Wow, dude, I didn't even know you were this cheesy!"

"At least I'm not a jerk like you."

Luca responded by pointing his middle finger at his cousin and saying, "Fuck you."

All of us are celebrating Cash's birthday at the resort that he rented for us all. Kaming mga kaibigan at pinsan lang niya ang nandito and don't even start to ask where his family is right now to celebrate his birthday because I swear, it's very complicated. I don't even want to involve myself in his family issues. Kay Cash na mismo nanggaling, he has a dysfunctional family. But at least, he has few cousins to join us.

Fewer than 15 people are present. Among the guests were all of Cash's closest friends, as well as a few of his cousins.

Everyone's drinking nonstop. Sabi kasi ni Cash unlimited daw ang booze! E'di sinusulit talaga namin! Nagtatapon ng pera si gago, e! Kung sabagay, barya lang lahat ng 'to sa tatay niya.

"Tara laro tayong truth or dare!" Pearl suggested it out of nowhere. May hawak na agad siyang bote ng alak na walang laman.

Napatingin kaming lahat sakaniya habang nagse-set up na siyang mag-isa sa isang malaking bilog na lamesa.

"Tara na! H'wag nga kayong mga KJ diyan! Maaga pa naman, e!"

"We're not high schoolers anymore," Luca commented.

"E'di h'wag kang sumali gago!" Pearl retorted, which made everyone laugh. Hindi na sumagot si Luca dahil alam din niya sigurong 'di magpapatalo 'tong si Pearl.

Umahon ako sa pool at naglakad papunta sa table na sinet-up ni Pearl.

"Sali ako. Pagod na akong lumangoy. Pahinga naman," sabi ko at saka naupo sa isang bakanteng upuan. "Ikaw Abigael?"

"Game ako!" she replied, smiling, before she took the seat beside me.

Afterwards, sumali na rin silang lahat. Lahat kami nakaupo sa isang malaking bilog na lamesa.

We played for a few rounds before they decided to change the rules because we couldn't think of any more dares.

"What if kung sinong mag-iikot ng bottle at kung kanino huminto at matapat ang bote e tatanungin kung truth or dare. If truth ang pinili at hindi kayang sagutin e mag-te-take ng shot and if dare naman, you'll have to kiss that person." Pearl suggested.

"Interesting," Luca said while gawking at Abigael. I glared at him, but he was too busy staring at Abigael, who was obviously drunk beside me.

I casually draped my arms around Abigael and pulled her towards me. "Stop drinking. Lasing ka na." I whispered in her ears.

She giggled a little, bago niya ako itinulak palayo. "Ikaw kaya 'tong lasing diyan!" sagot niya bago niya ako kinurot sa tagiliran.

"Hoy Luca! Spin the fuckingbottle! It's your turn," Cash yelled, and that got my attention.

Hindi ko napansin na nagsimula na pala silang maglaro ulit. Luca spun the bottle. I clenched my jaw when it stopped right in front of Abigael. I saw the smug look on Luca's face while everyone's attention was focused on Abigael.

"Truth or Dare?" Luca asked.

My heart is beating so fast while staring at her beautiful face, waiting for her answer.

"Truth," Abigael said, and I swear, I don't know what I could do to him if Abigael chose to dare.

Luca had a disappointed look on his face. Buti nga sa'yo!

I don't have anything against Cash's cousins. Lahat naman sila mukhang matino nang ipakilala sila samin kanina pwera lang talaga dito kay Luca na parating nakatitig kay Abigael simula kaninang pagdating nila. Kinausap ko kasi kanina si Cash at Milo. Ang sabi nila sa'kin kanina na may reputation daw 'yong gagong 'yun na hindi nagpapatalo sa lahat nang gusto niya. That he always gets whatever he wants. Kahit mismong sa mga kapatid niya ginagawa niyang competition lahat.

And somehow, that made me anxious...

"If there's someone that you could kiss tonight, among all the guys here, who would that be and why?" Luca asked. Ngumisi pa si gago!

Tumingin sandali si Abigael kay Elsie at Pearl para siguro humingi nang tulong pero pati sila nakatingin lang kay Abigael at naghahantay nang isasagot nito. Bumilis nanaman ang pagtibok ng puso ko. Inabot ko 'yung red cup na nasa tapat ko at saka ko inubos 'yung laman.

"You can just pick me, babe. I won't mind," Luca said, smirking when Abigael hadn't answered yet after a few minutes. I clenched my jaw while beating Luca repeatedly inside my head!

The guts of this guy! He's annoying as fuck.

"Sinong pipiliin mo girl?" Elsie said.

"Madami-dami ang choices mo." sabi ni Pearl, habang isa-isang binabanggit lahat ng panagalan naming mga lalaki. "You have Atlas, Luca, Cash, Milo, Curtis, Baker—"

"Or puwede namang hindi ka pumili," I cut her off.

I stare at Abigael and took her hand under the table that made her look at me. I gently squeeze her hand and gave her a faint nod.

"Hindi nalang ako sasagot," sabi niya bago ininom 'yung isang shot glass ng Cuervo.

Narinig kong nag-boo si Luca kaya agad akong napatayo sa upuan ko.

"Hindi ka rin naman niya pipiliin kahit na sumagot siya," I said while gritting my teeth in anger.

"How'd you know? Why? Are you expecting her to choose you?" He sneered. I was glaring at him when I felt Abigael tugging on my arm to sit down.

"H'wag mo nang patulan. Nakakahiya kay Cash. Baka masira pa 'yung party niya," napabuntong hininga nalang ako at bumalik sa pagkaka-upo. Nakita kong umalis si Luca kasama 'yung isang kapatid niya at tumambay nalang sa gilid ng pool.

Mabuti naman at baka kung ano pang magawa ko sa gagong 'yun!

We continued playing truth or dare, and I don't know how many shots I took for Abigael. Kapag sinu-swerte ka nga naman palaging sakaniya natatapat 'yung bote kaya wala siyang choice kung hindi mag truth pero hindi niya sinasagot 'yung ibang tanong kaya mas pinipili nalang niyang mag take ng shots pero agad kong inaagaw dahil halatang lasing na rin siya.

"Atlas halika na. Dalin kana namin sa kuwarto mo."

I was so hammered, and I couldn't even open my eyes properly. My head is resting on the table, and they have to stop playing because I can't take any more shots.

Hindi ko alam kung sinong tumulong kay Abigael para dalhin ako sa kuwarto ko pero naramdaman ko nalang na hiniga nila ako sa kama.

"Kaya ko na 'to, Thanks, Milo." Abigael said before I heard the door closing.

"Abigael..." I called her and held her arm to stop her from leaving.

"Magpahinga ka na. Lasing na lasing kana."

"Just stay." I stared at her beautiful face. My eyes automatically landed on her lips.

I don't know how many times I've imagined myself kissing those soft lips of hers. I just want to feel those lips on my lips.

Naupo siya pabalik sa kama. My head is spinning but I manage to reach for her face and gently caress her cheek.

"You're so beautiful, Abigael," I muttered.

I can't do this to her when I'm sober, so I'm taking advantage of myself right now while I'm this drunk. Her cheeks were red because of the alcohol. She was just staring back at me, letting me caress her cheek until my thumbs gently brushed over her soft red lips.

Her lips parted when I brushed my thumb against her lips.

"L-lasing kana, Atlas."

"I want to kiss you right now." Her eyes widened at my sudden confession.

Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba sa kalasingan, pero nakita ko 'yung maliit nang ngiti sa labi niya bago siya nagsalita.

"Then kiss me," she replied, and I didn't think twice before I finally claimed her lips.

#

I will never forget that night.

I've been with a lot of women, but Abigael is different. She's my best friend, but I love her more than that.

I love her even before I realize that I'm already in love with her.

I just woke up one day that I can't stop thinking about her and that I always look forward for the next day to see her again.

But I can't tell her how I really feel because she is my best friend, and I can't risk our friendship. I don't want to jeopardize the friendship that we built. I was scared that what if she didn't feel the same way and everything would be awkward between us? So, I opted not to tell her... but not until what happened to us that night.

I was ready to tell her how I really feel the next day but when I woke up the next morning, she already left my room and when I saw her, she was acting like nothing happened to us.

Tangina parang sinampal ako nang katotohanan... na kahit may nangyari saming dalawa, hanggang dito nalang talaga kami.

Kaya ginawa ko nalang din kung anong ginagawa niya. I acted as if nothing had happened between us. I acted as if I was drunk, and I can't remember anything.

I tried to forget her by sleeping with other women, pero wala ni isa sakanila ang kayang pumantay sakaniya. Abigael is different... or maybe because I keep on comparing her to the other women and no one can actually replace her.

It's fucking hard to be in love with your best friend!

"Why can't you just tell her the truth? That you're in love with her." Milo said after he took a sip on his glass of whiskey.

"Yeah, man. Why don't you just admit that you're in love with your best friend." Cash added.

I sighed. "Hindi gano'n kadali." I replied.

"How come? Wasn't it easier because you two basically knew each other since you two were born," Cash said before taking another shot of his Cuervo.

Before answering them, I emptied the glass of whiskey that I was holding. "That's the point. It's because we were so close that it became even harder for me to tell her how I really feel. I don't want to lose our friendship because of my feelings for her."

"Inuunahan mo kasi si Gael. How would you know that if you haven't even told her how you really feel about her?" Milo said, gently tapping my shoulder.

"Just try to tell her and if she doesn't love you back, then you two will remain best friends." Cash suggested before giving me and Milo a shot glass of Cuervo.

"For Julian Atlantis!" Cash yelled before we drank our shots.

#

I thought it would be easier because I've decided to confess, but then she keeps on meeting different guys on Tinder.

I can't find the right time and moment, kaya tumagal nang tumagal hanggang sa makilala niya si Steven, and it becomes more complicated!

She looks so happy with him, and no matter how many times I've threatened this Steven guy, he just won't back off! Or so I thought... because he broke up with Abigael the moment he found out that I was also in love with her.

Before we drove back to Manila, I told Steven that I loved Abigael. Sinabi ko 'yun para bigyan siya nang warning na kapag sinaktan niya si Abigael ay hindi ako magdadalawang isip na kunin si Abigael sakaniya.

Alam kong mali 'yung ginagawa kong pananakot sa mga dapat naide-date ni Abigael pero hindi ko mapigilan 'yung sarili ko. Hanggang sa hindi ko alam na naapektuhan na pala si Abigael dahil sa ginagawa ko.

I had no idea I was undermining her self-esteem every time her date failed to show up because of me. Gusto kong bugbugin 'yung sarili ko nang makita ko siyang umiiyak dahil sa ginawa ko!

Napaka-gago ko!

What I did was a dick move!

But I got scared that she will fall for someone else...

It was so painful to see her with another guy that I even pay for someone to make her jealous...

When I got the balls to confess my feelings for her. Hindi ko in-expect na gano'n din pala ang nararamdaman niya para sa'kin. And I swear, I cannot stop smiling after that day! The smile plastered on my face is unremovable and permanent!

I was just really, really happy.

She makes me happy, really happy.

I just want to be with her every single day...

But my happiness was taken away from me when Chloe came back into the picture.

Karma ko nga yata 'to sa lahat nang ginawa kong katarantaduhan! I paid her before para magpanggap na girlfriend ko, but everything backfired on me.

"Kung pera lang ang gusto mo, ibibigay ko sa'yo lahat ng pera na kailangan mo, just please don't do this! Don't involve her in this!" I yelled at her.

She crossed her arms while glaring at me. "I just don't need your money Atlas... I also want you. I need you."

"That's bullshit, Chloe!" napasabunot na ako sa buhok ko dahil sa inis.

Kung hindi lang babae si Chloe baka kung ano na ang nagawa ko sakaniya, pero hindi ako gano'n pinalaki ng mga magulang ko. I was taught to never ever lay a finger on any woman. I have 2 younger sisters, and not in my wildest dream did I ever imagine myself hitting a woman kahit gaano pa kasama ang ugali nito.

Kahit pa bina-blackmail ako para layuan si Abigael at humingi ng pera pambayad sa mga utang ng pamilya niya.

I tried to look for a solution, but Chloe was very persistent in doing something bad to Abigael, and that left me no choice but to break up with her.

Hindi na ako bumalik pa sa unit ko sa Empire simula nang tumira doon si Chloe at makita kami ni Abigael na magkasama. Hindi ko plano na gano'n makipaghiwalay kay Abigael pero nangyari na. Inisip ko nalang na mas mabuting gano'n na nga lang ang nangyari dahil hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko ba siyang kausapin para hiwalayan siya.

I promised to Tito Aero na hinding hindi ko paiiyakin ang anak niya. Nangako ako na hindi ko siya sasaktan pero tangina! Wala akong choice dahil hindi lang ako at si Abigael ang damay dito kung hindi pati pamilya rin niya.

For more than a year, halos hindi na ako umuwi para lang makapag ipon ng pera para pambayad ng utang ni Chloe. I can't ask my parents for the money. I can't involve my parents in this mess.

I made this mess, and I have to deal with this mess alone.

Sobrang sakit makita na nasasaktan 'yung tanong mahal mo, pero mas masakit makitang hindi ikaw 'yung nandyan para damayan siya... para patawanin siya.

I was able to save enough money to buy a small house for Chloe's family. Nabayaran ko rin 'yung kalahating milyon na utang ng pamilya niya. I talked to Blake, the new owner of Btch Valley, at sinabi ko sakaniya na nakakuha ng kopya ng video at pictures si Chloe sa isang employee nila dati. He promised me that they were very strict on those files and that he'd fire Chloe as soon as possible.

When Chloe left, I was finally able to breathe again...

I was about to tell Abigael everything after talking to Tito Aero, but then I found out she's leaving again, and this time she's not alone.Because she's going to Europe for a month with Ty.

I was ready to give up... but my heart won't let her go. I can't let her go.

She's my everything. And I'm more than ready to fight any battles just to be with her again. I'll go to any length, no matter what it takes, just to be with Abigael again.

W H A T Y A S E Y