Mine Sheldon's and Leonard's apartment. Sheldon,  Alex, Leonard, Howard and Raj are using laptops. All are wearing microphone headsets.

"Alright, just a few more feet, and.... here we are gentlemen, the Gates of Elzebub." Howard starts.

"Good lord!" I exclaim. 

"Oooh." Raj cheers.

"Don't panic, this is what the last 97 hours have been about." Leo speaks up.

"Stay frosty, there's a horde of armed goblins on the other side of that gate guarding the Sword of Azeroth." Howard continues.

"Warriors, unsheathe your weapons, magic wielders raise your wands." Leo states.

"Lock and load." Me and Sheldon start.

"Raj, blow up the gates." Howard commands.

"Blowing the gates. Control, shift, B! Oh, my God, so many goblins!" Raj exclamis.

"Don't just stand there, slash and move, slash and move." Howard complains.

"Stay in formation." Leo commands.

"Leonard, you've got one on your tail." Howard exclamies. 

"That's alright, my tail's prehensile, I'll swat him off." Leo carried on.

"I've got him Leonard. Tonight I spice my meat with goblin blood!" Raj yelled.

"Raj, no, it's a trap, they're flanking us!" Leo exclaimed.

"Oooh, he's got me." Raj yells.

"Sheldon, he's got Raj, use your sleath spell. Sheldon! Sheldon!" Howard told Sheldon but I know what he was doing. Since we always works together but on differnt laptops. 

"I've got the Sword of Azeroth!" Sheldon yelled. I just smiled at him. 

"Forget the sword, Sheldon, help Raj." Leo shouts at us.

"There is no more Sheldon, I am the Swordmaster!" Sheldon yelled. 

"Leonard look out!" Howard yells.

"Dammit man, we're dying here." Leo carried on but we ignored him.

"Goodbye, peasants." I yelled.

"The bastards teleported." Leo yelled i just laughed. 

"He's selling the Sword of Azeroth on ebay." Raj started I looked at him. 

"You betrayed us for money, who are you?" Me and Leo yelled.

"I'm a rogue knight elf, don't you people read character descriptions? Wait, wait, wait, somebody just clicked "buy it now."" Sheldon carried on. 

"I am the Swordmaster!" I yelled taking the sword of Sheldon. Still in the main apartment.

"Wooh, I'm all sweaty, anybody want to log on to second life and go swimming, I just built a virtual pool." Sheldon started trying to talk to us all but me and Leo were still mad.

"No, we can't look at you or your avatar right now." Leo answered for us both. Sound of female laughter from out in the hall.

"Sounds like your neighbour's home." Howard started,

"Excuse me." Leo answered. 

"Don't forget the mail you took accidentally on purpose so you'd have an excuse to talk to her." I piped up.

"Oh, right, right right right right." Leo exclaimed and picked up the mail.

"Stealing snail mail, very old school, I like it." Howard piped up I just looked at him.

"No problem. Bye. Oh, and, bye, bro! " I hared leo say the he returns to apartment.

"Penny for your thoughts." I piped up. 

"What's the matter." Raj asked. 

"No, I'm fine. Penny's fine, the guy she's kissing is really fine and..." Leo replied. 

"Kissing, what kind of kissing? Cheeks? Lips? Chaste? French?" Howard asked. 

"What is wrong with you?" I asked. 

"I'm a romantic." Howard replied. 

"Please don't tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy." Sheldon answered I just chose to carry on ignoring him. 

"No, I'm not jealous, I'm just a little concerned for her. I didn't like the look of the guy that she was with." Leo answered I just looked at Leo. 

"Because he looked better than you?" I asked.

"Yeah. He was kinda dreamy." Leo answered I just laughed at him. 

"Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smouldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her, and analyse the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again." I replied getting a comic. 

"I disagree, love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms. Or hits you with the pepper spray." Howard answers. 

"Well, I'm done with Penny. I'm going to be more realistic and go after someone my own speed." Leo carried on.

"Like who?" I asked

"I don't know. Olivia Geiger?" Leo carried on. 

"The dietician at the cafeteria with the limp and the lazy eye?" I asked again. 

"Yeah." Leo answered. 

"Well, I don't think you have a shot there. I have noticed that Lesley Winkle recently started shaving her legs. Now, given that winter is coming one can only assume that she is signalling sexual availability." Sheldon piped up. 

"I don't know, you guys work in the same lab." Howard starts. 

"So?" Leo asked. 

"There are pitfalls, trust me, I know. When it comes to sexual harassment law I'm... a bit of a self-taught expert." Howard continued I just hit him on the head. 

"Look, Howard, if I were to ask Lesley Winkle out it would just be for dinner, I'm not going to walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me." Leo explained I just laughed at him.

"Oh, then you're probably okay." I answered for  Howard.  Alex's Sheldons and Leonard's flat. Sheldon, Alex, Raj and Howard are playing Jenga.

"Sheldon Alex, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you?" Raj asked. 

"That depends. When we learn that I'm a robot, will we be able to handle it?" Sheldon asked. 

"Maybe, although the history of science-fiction is not on your side." I answered.

"Uh, let me ask you this. When I learn that I'm a robot, would I be bound by Asimov's three laws of robotics?" I asked. 

"You might be bound by them right now." Raj answered. 

"That's true. Have you ever harmed a human being, or through inaction allowed a human being to come to harm?" Howard asks.

"Of course not." I answered for both me and Sheldon.

"Have you ever harmed yourself, or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would have been endangered?" Raj asked. 

"Well, no." Sheldon answered.

"I smell robot." Howard spoke up.

"(entering): Hey, what's going on." Leo asked walking through the door. 

"The internet's been down for half an hour." I answered.

"Also, Sheldon and Alex may be a robot." Raj says. 

"So, how did it go with Lesley?" Howard asks. 

Leonard: Oh, we tried kissing, but the earth didn't move. I mean any more than the 383 miles that it was going to move anyway." Leo explained. 

"Oh, I've seen that look before. This is just going to be two weeks of moping and tedious emo songs, and calling me to come down to pet stores to look at cats. We don't know if we can take it." Sheldon spoke up pointing between the two of us. 

"You could power down." Raj says randomly. 

"Well, as usual, Wolowitz has the solution. I happen to know a place where there are plenty of eligible women, and Leonard could have his pick." Howard speaks up.

"Not salsa class please not salsa class." I complain.  The flat, Leonard is entering, singing to himself a depressing emo song.

"Oh, good lord." I yell to no one.

"(singing): You don't know me, you don't wear my chains... God, that's a good song." Leo started. 

"If you're compiling a mix CD for a double suicide. (Leonard is taking supplies out of a bag) Oh, I hope that scratching post is for you." Sheldon speaks up. 

"I know what you're thinking, I've taken your asthma into account. There's a feline geneticist in San Diego who has developed the cutest little hypo-allergenic calicos." Leo starts looking at Sheldon.

"Leonard, listen to me..." Sheldon try's. 

"I've been thinking about names, I'm kind of torn between Einstein, Newton and Sergeant Fuzzyboots." Leo said butting in. 

"Leonard, do you really think you can satisfy your need for a relationship with a genetically altered cat?" I asked confused. 

"Maybe, if it's a cute little cuddly cat." Leo stated. 

"Oh, come on, Leonard! This is obviously about Penny." I carried on. 

"It doesn't matter. The woman's not interested in me, the woman rejected me." Leo answered hanging his head in shame.

"Okay, look, I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the centre of every black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker. Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did no reject you. You did not ask her out." I stated. 

"You're right. I didn't ask her out, I should ask her out." Leo answered. 

"No. No, now that was not her point. Her point was, don't buy a cat." Sheldon answered. 

"No, but you're right. I should march over there and ask her out." Leo carried on I just sighed.

"Oh, goody, we're getting a cat." I sarcastically cheered sitting down next to Sheldon.

Sheldon Alex and Leonard's apartment. Leonard enters from bedrooms, dressed in a smart shirt and trousers. They are covered in sweat stains.

"How do I look?" Leo asked.

"Could you be more specific" I question looking up from my new comic. 

"Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?" Leo asked again. 

"No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns under your arms conceal it nicely. What time is your date?" I questioned looking a little confused. 

"Six thirty." Leo replied.

"Perfect, that gives you two hours and fifteen minutes for that dense molecular cloud of Aramis to dissipate." I stated putting down the comic. 

"Is it too much?" Leo asked looking at us.

"Not if you're a rugby team." Me and Sheldon replied.

"By the way, if it should ever come up, you didn't join us because you stuffed yourself with a chicken carbonara sub at Quizznos." Leo said looking at Sheldon. 

"Why would I join you?" Sheldon asked. 

"No reason. Oh, you know what, maybe this isn't such a good idea." Leo answered. 

"Oh, no, no, no, well now, there's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgement on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening." I stated looking between the two boys Sheldon nodded agreeing with me. 

"You're right, alcohol, poor judgement, it could go well." Leo continued. 

"Of course, there's the other possibility that this date kicks off a rather unpleasant six months of the two of you passing awkwardly in the hall until one of you breaks down and moves to another zip code." I stated looking at Leo. 

"You could have stopped at "it could go well."" Leo sated looking at me. 

"If I could of, I would of." I answered getting up and walking into the kitchen.

"I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy. There's no reason we couldn't go to the restaurant and have a lovely dinner. Maybe take a walk afterwards, talk about things we have in common, "you love pottery? I love pottery!" You know, there's a pause, we both know what's happening, I lean in, we kiss, it's a little tentative at first but then I realise, she's kissing me back, and she's biting my lower lip, you know, she wants me, this thing is going the distance, we're going to have sex! Oh God! Oh, my God!" Leo stated looking at the wall. 

"Is the sex starting now?" I asked looking up from my before dinner supper. 

"I'm having a panic attack." Leo answered.

"Oh, okay, well then, calm down." Sheldon pointed out.

"If I could calm down I wouldn't be having a panic attack, that's why they call it a panic attack." Leo stated. 

"Alright, alright, well, just, sit down, yes, sit down, now close your eyes." I answered looking at him. 

"Why?" He questioned. 

"Just do it." I replied.

"Okay." He continued and did what I told him to do. 

"Now try to increase your alpha-wave activity." I continued sitting back down.

"What?" He questions. He can be so dumb sometimes. 

"It's a bio-feedback technique, it's relaxation through brain-wave manipulation, I read a paper about it in the Journal of American Neuroscience, it was a little sparsely sourced but I think the basic science is valid, I probably have it here somewhere." I replied. 

Leonard: Oh, who am I kidding, I can't go through with this, you need to call her and cancel." Leo panicked. 

"Me?" I questioned looking at him confused.

"Yes." Leo replied. 

"What should I tell her." I asked standing up. 

"I don't know. Tell her I'm sick." Leo continued. 

"Okay." I answered picking up the phone. 

"Not the kind of illness that will make her want to come over and take care of me, but nothing so critical that she'll feel uncomfortable going out with me in the future if I want to try this again." Leo panicked again. 

"Got it. So I'm assuming nothing venereal. I'll just tell her that you had a routine colonoscopy and haven't quite bounced back." I stated looking between my boyfriend and brother.

"Give me the phone." Leo yelled slightly.

"But we thought you wanted to cancel?" Sheldon asked. 

"I can't because if I don't show up she'll still be expecting you two." Leo stated.

"Why would she be expecting us?" I asked. 

"Stop asking me all these questions, I need to take another shower." Leo said walking off.  The apartment, Leonard enters.

"So, how was your date?" Sheldon asked while I was walking in after showering after having coatis. 

"Awesome!" Leo answered then looked at me.

"Don't ask Leo you should already know." I answered sitting down.

"Score one for liquor and poor judgement." Sheldon stated I just laughed.