
02.05
The apartment Leonard enters, drops his keys in the bowl by the door, then collapses onto the settee, Alex is sat at her desk. Sheldon enters from the bedroom area.
"Good morning, Leonard Alex." Sheldon stated.
"Uh-huh." Leo stated.
"Yeah, we're going to have to stop by Pottery Barn on the way to work, I bought these Star Wars sheets but they turned out to be much too stimulating to be compatible with a good night's sleep. I don't like the way Darth Vader stares at me." Sheldon stated.
"I'm not going to work." Leo tried.
"Oh, just because your career's been stagnant for a few years, that's no reason to give up." Sheldon pointed out.
"Sheldon, I was up all night using the new free-electron laser for my X-ray diffraction experiment." Leo explained.
"Did the laser accidentally burn out your retinas?" Sheldon asked.
"No." Leo answered.
"Then you can drive. Let's go." Sheldon stated.
"Didn't I tell you I'd be working nights, and that you'd have to make other arrangements." Leo stated.
"You did." Sheldon piped up.
"And?" Leo asked.
"I didn't. Let's go." Sheldon answered.
"I did. So I'm fine." Alex answered.
"Goodnight, Sheldon." Leo stated
"But how am I going to get to work?" Sheldon asked.
"Take the bus. Alex could drive you." Leo answered.
"I am not driving him to work." Alex stated grabbing her keys.
"Hey. I'm your boyfriend." Sheldon stated.
"Alright I'll ride with Raj you take the bus." Alex stated.
"I can't take the bus any more. They don't have seatbelts. And they won't let you lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords." Sheldon stated.
"You tried to lash yourself to the seat with bungee cords?" Leo asked.
"I didn't try, I succeeded. For some reason it alarmed the other passengers and I was asked to de-bus." Sheldon stated.
"Oh, you're a big boy, you'll figure it out. Why can't you be more like your girlfriend?" Leo told him.
"Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now, take me to return my star wars sheets!" Sheldon exclaimed. The group were in the university cafeteria as Sheldon enters.
"Oh, Leonard, there you are, I'm ready to go home." Sheldon stated.
"I just got here." Leo told him.
"Good, perfect timing." Sheldon continued.
"Sheldon, I told you, I only have access to the free-electron laser at night. I can't drive you for the next few weeks." Leo told him.
"No, you said you couldn't drive me to work, this is from work." Sheldon tried.
"Howard, help me out here." Leo stated.
"No, just for the fun of it, I'm gonna take his side." Howard stated.
"Now, how do you propose I get home?" Sheldon asked.
"How did you get here in the first place?" Alex asked him.
"Penny. But I sense that's no longer an option." Sheldon answered.
"Look, I need to get to the laser lab, you're just going to have to find someone else to take you home." Leo stated.
"Oh damn, I picked the wrong side." Howard stated. Sheldon ended up with Alex and Raj.
"Why did Howard leave you in the middle of the road anyway?" Raj asked.
"We had a difference of opinion." Sheldon stated making us look at him.
"Over what?" Me and Raj asked him.
"Whether or not he was trying to kill me. For the record, I maintain he was. Where are you going?" Sheldon asked Raj.
"I'm taking you home." Raj answered looking at him.
"Oh, but I'm not going home. It's Wednesday, Wednesday is new comic book day, we have to go to the comic book store. And then we have to stop at Soup Plantation, it's creamy tomato soup day, and Radio Shack, there's a sale on triple-a batteries. Plus, we have to go to Pottery Barn and return my Star Wars sheets." Sheldon stated.
"I have a better idea." Raj pointed out.
"You want to go to pottery barn first?" Sheldon asked him. We were in the apartment in the morning.
"It's too early." I stated drinking a coffee.
"Good morning." Sheldon stated.
"Good morning." We answered looking at him.
"Sheldon, sit down." I told him.
"She's in my spot. Don't look at me like that, everybody knows that my spot." Sheldon stated.
"Sheldon, you know that we care about you." Penny stated as we looked at him.
"And it's because we care about you that we've decided we have to speak up." Howard told him.
"You're hurting the people around you, sweetie." Penny stated.
"So we made you an appointment, and we want you to keep it." I tell him as I make more coffee.
"Department of motor vehicles new driver handbook? But I don't have a problem." Sheldon tells us.
"Sheldon, you need to learn how to drive." I tell him.
"This madness has to stop." Howard stated.
"Penny's taking you to the DMV, I'm going to bed." Leo says.
"And I don't have the patience to drive you." I tell him.
"Why Penny? And I thought you loved me?" Sheldon asked.
"I do love you. She lost at rock paper scissors against me and Leo." I answered.
"Because rock breaks scissors, goodnight." Lenny says going to bed.
"All right, come on Sheldon." Penny stated as I got up.
"I'm going to do some actual work in my room." I stated walking into my room. The boys come back to the apartment. Howard is setting up a large kit of high tech equipment. I sat on the couch watching him
"Okay, that's it, let's boot it up." Howard stated.
"Booting." Leo stated as he booted up the machine.
"This is a state-of-the-art simulator. I adapted it from something a friend of mine designed for the army." Howard stated.
"Is that why I appear to be in downtown Fallujah, behind the wheel of an up-armored Humvee?" Sheldon asked.
"I haven't configured it yet. Let's see... Bradley tank... transport truck... Batmobile..." Howard stated.
"Ooh!" Sheldon said.
"No." Leo stated.
"Here we go, red 2006 Ford Taurus on the streets of Pasadena." I stated.
"(sucking in breath) Hmmmm?" Sheldon asked.
"What?" Howard asked.
"Statistically, red cars are stopped by police far more often than any other colour. I don't want any hassles with the fuzz." Sheldon answered.
"Fine, what colour do you want?" I asked him.
"You know the pale blue of Luke Skywalker's lightsaber, before it was digitally remastered?" Sheldon asked us.
"Black it is." Howard stated.
"Okay, now, what you want to do first is turn on the ignition and shift into drive." Leo stated.
"I haven't fastened my seat belt yet." Sheldon stated.
"Okay, fasten your seat belt." I tell him.
"Click. Now, are there air bags?" Sheldon asked.
"You don't need air bags." I tell him.
"What if a simulated van rear-ends me?" Sheldon asked us.
"I'll hit you in the face with a pillow." Penny answered as I grabbed a pillow in case.
"Okay, now shift into drive, pull out slowly into traffic." Leo tells him. There was a general panic.
"Oh." I stated.
"Oh." Penny stated.
"Oh." Leo said.
"Oh." Howard joined in.
"Watch out." I yelled.
"Oh God!" Howard stated.
"Watch, watch out, watch out for pedestrians!
"Oh God, wait, slow, hit the brakes, hit the brakes!" Penny stated as she hits Sheldon in face with pillow.
"Thank you." Sheldon stated as I sighed looking at him. A corridor in the university. Sheldon emerges from his office in a shower cap and bathrobe. The others are turning the corner.
"Good morning, gentlemen babe." Sheldon stated.
"Oh hey." I stated.
"Hey." Leo stated.
"Good morning. Is there some new kind of casual Friday I don't know about?" Raj asked.
"No, he lives here now." Leo answered.
"Really? Why?" I asked.
"Well, since he won't take the bus and he's too evolved to drive, he decided it would be easier to just sleep in his office and shower in the radiation lab until I'm finished with my experiment." Leo answers.
"But you finished your experiment a week ago." I told him.
"Yep." Leo says.
"No wonder he hasn't been in bed." I exclaimed.
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