Chapter 28

The next week flew by - filled with shopping trips with Tess, picking out a used car from the dealership with my mom, and family dinner. Paige and Keegan had come over; mom made spaghetti. We pretended everything was good. Or maybe things were actually becoming good, again. I felt like I had my big sister back. My mom and I could have real conversations without it being awkward. They knew I was leaving soon. We all wanted to be on good terms, I guess.

   I called Mateo in the evening, each night. We talked, a lot. We literally talked about everything from our childhoods to our favourite movies and bands. I felt like I really got to know him that week, even though we weren't together.

   "I wish I could hold you, right now," he whispered, mid week.

   We were Facetiming, but his room was dark and I could barely see him.

   "I miss you," I said back. "Your face, your hands, your mouth..."

   "Oh yeah?" he asked, his voice changing a bit.

   "Yeah."

   He sighed. "My mom and Johnny are back tomorrow. They want me to go have dinner at their place."

   "Oh, okay."

   "I work on Friday all day, but... I was hoping you'd want to meet me on Saturday?" Now, he sounded a bit nervous for my answer.

   "Meet you? Where?" I asked, without thinking.

   I had thought a lot about what seeing him again would be like. Would it be a hook up? Would we go on a date? I'd only been back in Ann Arbor for a few days but I felt different. Maybe because I had college on the brain, now.

   "I was thinking... Battle Creek is like half way." He sounded so unsure, like he wasn't confident that I wanted to see him.

   "Oh, yeah, it's like an hour from me," I answered.

   "Are you busy Saturday? Or..."

   "No. Um, I'm free. It's just..."

   "Oh my god. You don't want to? Uh, okay."

   "Mateo, it's not that. But... what will we do? I mean -"

   "Elena... I just want to see you. Touch you. I don't know what will happen once I leave for college, but I know I want to see you before I go." Now, his voice was much more calm.

   "Okay. Yes, let's do it," I agreed. I did want to see him. Of course I did. We would have to figure out the rest later.

   "Yeah?" he asked, and I knew he was relieved.

   "Yes. Saturday. Battle Creek," I finished.

~~

   "Hey, Dad," I answered my phone, the next afternoon.

   I'd been eating a snack, waiting to hear back from Tess about when we were going to pick out some bathroom supplies. It was one of the last things on our list.

   "El! Hey, how're you?" His deep voice boomed into my ear.

   "Great. Good as new. Or... as good as before," I laughed.

   "I'm so happy to hear that, you have no idea," he told me.

   "How was your honeymoon?"

   "Oh, amazing. We got home this morning." He paused. "You got home safe? And the couple of days here with Mateo were okay?"

   I cleared my throat. "Yep, Tess came to get me. All good."

   "And? Mateo?" he asked again. 

   "It was fine, yeah."

   "Great. He's coming for dinner tonight. Jenna was sad to hear you left, but happy of course that you're doing so well."

   "Oh, yeah, things are good with Mom, I guess. And Paige," I told him.

   "That's amazing, El. I'm really proud of you for overcoming that." He didn't say anything for a moment, but then went on. "I can't wait to hear all about college."

   I smiled, but felt a bit weird hiding what was happening between Mateo and I. But I didn't know how he could react if he knew.

   "Thanks, Dad. I have to go, but I'll talk to you soon, okay?" I finished.

   "Of course. Love you, El."

   "Love you too."

   The next two days felt like an eternity. I went to a movie with Paige, on her day off, and Tess and I did a third shopping trip, mostly finishing off our lists. I bought a toaster oven. She bought a shower caddy. It all felt so real, like the days passing were actually bringing us closer to the magical day we would be out of Ann Arbor, together.

   On Friday afternoon, I was laying on Tess' bed, starting at the brochure for the campus.

   "Two weeks. This is crazy," I said out loud.

   "Totally," Tess agreed, looking over at me. She was painting her nails. "I hope we hear about the dorm placements soon."

   "They said it would be a week before move in day," I told her, flipping over the brochure.

   "Right."

   I had been so excited to get out of Ann Arbor, because I didn't feel connected to my mom or my sister, for a long time. We had just been growing apart, and I was sure that starting over in a new place was what I needed. But now, things felt very different.

   I knew Tess was excited to not be the main caregiver of her sister, Clare, but she would miss her. Her whole life had been school and Clare, for a long time.

   "I have to tell you something," I spat out, finally.

   Tess was fanning her hands around. "Yeah?"

   "I'm, uh, well -"

   "Spit it out," she laughed.

   "I'm driving to Battle Creek tomorrow, to meet Mateo."

   Tess literally squealed. "Oh my god! Yes!"

   "I don't like how secretive it all is," I admitted.

   "I'm fine with it," she laughed. "Oh my god, are you excited?"

   I sat up, looking right at her. "Yes?"

   "Elena! He loves you." She was so serious, and it hit me that she was right. I had to stop acting like this was some crazy thing I was doing.

   I took in a deep breath. "Tess, I know how I feel about him. I know what I want to do, but I don't want to secretly meet up with him like this. And he leaves for Penn State in a week."

   "Find out what he wants, long term?" she suggested. "And in the mean time, enjoy it. Get it, girl." She laughed, loud, so I rolled my eyes and smiled.

   I loved how supportive my best friend was, but it didn't mean I wasn't still nervous about it all.