Chapter 25

The next morning sort of felt like the end of something, and it was. It was the end of that crazy week in South Haven that I hadn't expected at all. I sat the table in the kitchen drinking a coffee, thinking about everything. The rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the night on the beach. The hospital, the three days with Mateo, and the mess that happened afterwards. It felt like a lifetime of memories crammed into one week.

   I was definitely spaced out a bit when I heard someone at the door front. It was only 8A.M. and I  knew that Tess and Clare had left Ann Arbor at 7A.M. They would still be a couple hours. Before I could decide what to do, I saw him.

   Mateo looked up as he entered the kitchen. He was as shocked to see me as I was him.

   "Uh, I thought you'd be gone." His words cut through me. There was no emotion on his face.

   "Oh, well, my mom bailed on coming to get me," I told him, trying to sound as passive as possible.

   "What? Really?" He just stood there in the doorway, not coming any closer.

   I shrugged. "She had to work late."

   "Oh. I just came to... grab my phone charger that I left here. Also, the pool cleaning company is coming today, so I thought I'd hang out..."

   I looked back down at my coffee. I couldn't handle seeing him now. Pretending this past week didn't happen was fine, if I didn't have to look at him.

  "So, you're staying today, or...?" His voice was still monotone but I could tell he was curious.

  "Uh, no. Tess is coming. She's on her way," I said quickly.

   "Oh, okay." He nodded, then started walking through the room.

   Suddenly, just like that, we were strangers again, and even though I wanted to not care, it ripped my heart out. This would have been much easier if I'd left the night before. I shut my eyes as he passed, and waited until I knew he was up the stairs before I opened them.

   My phone dinged, and I saw two texts.

   GPS SAYS 40 MINUTES, from Tess.

   HEY ELENA, IT'S PAIGE. MOM SAID YOU WERE UPSET LAST NIGHT. SHE ASKED ME TO CHECK IN. TEXT ME BACK.

  I decided to text my sister back right away.

   SHE WAS BEING A BITCH. SHE BAILED ON PICKING ME UP AND THEN SAID MY VACATION WAS OVER, SO I SHOULD BUS HOME.

   Ding. OH SHIT. SERIOUSLY? Paige sent back. Then, I'D BE PISSED TOO. BUT SHE'S BEEN STRESSED AT WORK, AND WORRYING ABOUT YOU.

   IT'S FINE. TESS IS COMING TO GET ME. ILL BE BACK THIS AFTERNOON, I sent back to my sister.

   OKAY GREAT. CAN WE HANG OUT SOON? I MISS YOU, SIS.

   I'LL TEXT YOU LATER, I finished.

   I was torn, then, between wanting to leave without seeing Mateo again, and hoping he'd come back down. I knew which would be easier, but I didn't want to be full of regret, either. It seemed like Mateo wanted to let me go, though, because he remained upstairs until I got another text from Tess. I had finished my coffee and eaten a banana, all the while my heart was pounding. My bag was by the door. I just needed to slip on my shoes and go, which seemed easy enough. But still I felt attached to the house. To the person who was still there.

  WE ARE PULLING ONTO THE STREET NOW, Tess sent.

  I sighed, reaching down for my big bag. I tossed my backpack over my shoulder and then slipped my bare feet into my flip flops. I turned back, looking around. I could see the spot where I first kissed Mateo. If I took a step and looked into the living room, I would be able to see the couch where we made out for hours. The house felt like somewhere I belonged. It felt like a part of me. But I knew I had to cut that part out and be done with it.

  Outside, I grinned as Tess dad's blue sedan pulled up. She cut the engine and was already getting out, a huge smile on her face. She ran at me, almost knocking me over. Her thick, black hair was all in my face as she hugged me.

   "A week is a long time," she said, pulling back. "Ahh."

   "Yes, especially with memory loss," I added, then laughed. "Thank you for coming."

  "Of course! Three hours of Taylor Swift in the car was fine," Tess laughed. "Clare was great, actually. We were just thinking of going to McDonald's to use the bathroom and get food?"

  "Sounds perfect," I answered.

  I followed her back over to the car and put my bags in the truck. Clare got out of the front seat and hugged me, then climbed into the back seat. I was just about to get in, beside Tess, when I heard someone yell.

  "Elena!"

  I looked back at the house instinctively. There was Mateo, on the porch, in bare feet, calling over at me. I didn't move. I stared at him for a second or two before looking back at Tess.

  "Who's that?" Clare asked, then giggled.

  I felt frozen, my hand on the door of the car. I should have just gotten in and told Tess to drive. I knew that would have been best for everyone. But my heart was pounding again, so hard that I could feel it all over.

  "Uh, El?" Tess asked, making me blink, "Is that..."

  "Mateo," I finished. "But..."

  "He looks like he wants to talk to you," she went on.

  I  looked into her eyes, holding my breath. I didn't know what to do. "I can't."

  "Elena," Tess said again. "Just go say goodbye."

   But I didn't want to say goodbye.

   I turned back towards the house again, hoping he was still there. Now he knew that I'd heard him and he was waiting.

   "Elena, you can't just leave!" he yelled. Was he crying?

   I left the car door open and walked back up the path to the house. I saw the tears on his cheeks as he came down the steps to meet me, pulling me close before I could stop him. He smelled so familiar, like his cologne and his toothpaste. Our bodies still fit perfectly together, and somehow he held me tighter than ever.

   "You told me to go," I said into his chest. "You wanted me to get out of your car and leave."

   He kept his arms around me. "I know. I am an idiot. I acted stupid last night, because my heart was breaking. I was thinking it was better for you, if we just ended it..."

   "Mateo, I was begging you to come in with me," I told him.

   "I know." He was crying again. "I thought you'd be gone, last night. I thought I'd never see you again."

   I pulled away, looking at his face. Now, I reached up and wiped his cheek with his thumb. I held my hand there, on his face and smiled, shaking my head.

  "You're just an emotional boy," I teased him.

   He sucked in a breath. "I love you, Elena."

  I blinked, hard. "What?"

  "Oh, shit. Sorry, I..." He shut his eyes.

  "Mateo...."

  "I'm sorry, that was stupid, too," he finally said.

   "Mateo, I... I love you too," I told him, then pulled his face down to kiss him. He pulled me tight again and kissed me back, hard, so that we were practically the same.

   "You have to go?" he whispered, barely breaking away from me.

   "I have to go," I repeated, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly sad.

   "Okay... go..." he said, but didn't take his hands off of me. "Can I call you later?"

   "Yes," I said, forcing a smile. The tears were suddenly pouring down my face, too. He kissed them away, then finally pulled back, taking a step back as well.

   "Okay... I'll talk to you soon," he finished, also forcing a smile. It looked like he was in pain.

   "Okay," I repeated and spun around, heading back to the car.