Daiyu strutted back to her room, hearing Renjun's door slam close right before she cackled and closed her own, turning her back on the door into her bright and prettily decorated room. Really, the bright pink was so refreshing after spending any length of time in her loser-of-a-brother's room. Her mother had actually forbidden him to decorate his room too much, for fear of people thinking he was weird, but it's not like he had any personality to base his room off anyway. 

Thinking of Renjun, she remembered the note hidden stealthily between the folds of her jumper.

It's not like I stole it or anything. I'm his sister. Anyway, it fell right down next to my fucking foot, so I only picked it up and kept it because I'm curious. Anyway, let's see what the bitch was looking at that made him so happy. 

Plopping herself down next to her countless stuffed animals, she took the note out of her bejewelled jumper and read one side. She scoffed. Then she read the other. She felt like vomiting. Then she read them again. And again. And by the end of that, she was smiling victoriously. These couldn't be misinterpreted. 

_

jeno, is rennie wearing new glasses today?? he looks fucking adorable???

_

no jae u dumbass he had those last tuesday believe me I know I was staring at him all class. wait u were too how did u not notice-

_

She could hear her brother knocking things over in panic and shuffling around quickly next door. They were right. He was one of them. Who would have thought?

Wait till Ma sees this. 

=

He was so completely, utterly fucked. This was it. This was the end. 

Daiyu had taken one of his treasured notes, that's the only thing that could have happened, the only possible conclusion anyone could have come to in his situation. And if she had, she would know, she would know he was gay, she would even know that he was polyamorous, and then she would tell their mother when she came home from her "friend's" house, and then she would know too, and it would be all over. 

What would happen to him?

And how did Renjun know that they would reject him? That they were homophobic? They could accept him right? There is always the slight chance that they would accept him as who is? They might accept that they couldn't change who he was no matter how hard they tried, right? No, they wouldn't, they won't, thought Renjun. Why? Well, why had Renjun's mother divorced his father?

Renjun's father had been pansexual. 

Yes, only Renjun's father. His sister's father, his mother's boyfriend, had left the moment he had discovered that his girlfriend was pregnant with a child. Renjun knew no more of that dilemma, as his mother had never explained it properly to him, she had never bothered to. 

He knew of his father, however, he knew very well what had happened. His parents had been married for 9 years. Happily married for 9 years and it took a single coming out and subsequent argument to tear them apart. He had seen it happen too. He remembered that night so vividly. 

:

Two months after his eighth birthday, and he had been going down from he and his sister's shared bedroom to get a glass of milk because he couldn't sleep, even after Daiyu had read him a story to try to send him to sleep. She had been so nice to him then. Two steps from the bottom of stairs, he heard yelling. He had not understood his mother's words then, but he understood now. 

"YOU'RE A FILTHY FAGGOT!"

Renjun just flinched at the loud volume. He shook his head, thinking his parents were just watching some adult-fighting movie, and made his way to the sitting room to ask his parents turn down the volume so he could get to sleep. He opened the door slightly so as not to see what was going on on the TV, but was only met with the scary sight of his father shrinking under his mother's words, tears streaming from his eyes as he feebly apologised for being himself, for telling her-

"I'm sorry, Sera, I'm so sorry, I'm not serious, it's a jo-"

"STOP FEEDING ME THAT BULLSHIT! YOU'RE A FAGGOT! THAT'S ALL YOU ARE! HOW COULD I HAVE MARRIED YOU!?" 

"Sera-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"Can we please just talk it out? It won't make a difference to us, it won't do anything to us, I'll never mention it, the children don't have to know, they'll never know, Ser-"

"I SAID DON'T CALL ME THAT!" 

Then she had slapped him. Renjun had closed the door quickly, tears in his eyes, because these weren't his parents. His parents loved each other. This could be nothing but a dream, but it was so, so sad. So he simply continued on his way to the kitchen, hugging himself as shouts followed him down the corridor. He had tried to pour himself a glass of milk, but his small hands were shaking so much he dropped the glass, the sound of breaking glass lost in the sea of loud voices.  

So he had just gone back up to bed. He had met his sister halfway up the stairs, who had reawaken by their parent's screaming. She had asked him a frenzy of questions, of which the last one had been "Do you know why they're arguing?" He had simply nodded in response. Both of the siblings were shaking, Renjun more out of the two. So she simply nodded and put her arm around him and they walked back to their bedroom together. 

That was the last time she ever looked at him with that much love, the last time she had ever been nice to him, the last time they had ever done anything together. 

Their parents had argued most of the night, they only stopped hours later when the loud slam of a door had resonated through the house. Neither of the children had slept yet, unable to ignore all the noise, and Daiyu simply deduced that their father was gone, and collapsed into her bed, exhausted. 

Renjun couldn't sleep for a while, though. He lay awake, a tear trickling down away from his eye and leaving a grey spot on his white pillow every so often. But those grey spots faded away, and so did his consciousness eventually. 

There had been a trial the day after, and Renjun didn't understand what was going on, but his father had been quite upset towards the end. His mother had taken his sister's hand, grabbed his wrist and stormed out of there, with hard grey eyes reflecting her stone hard resolve. 

The last time he had seen his father when they were waiting for a taxi on the sidewalk and he had come running up to them, begging for a few last words with his children. Renjun's mother had yanked Daiyu away, but she left Renjun there. His father looked at her in disbelief, but took Renjun's shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Renjun. She will treat you badly, Renjun, and it's my fault, okay? It's not your fault okay? It's my fault for being pan, and it's my fault for telling her. I'll... I'll come get you, okay? I will, I promise. Bye, Renjun. I love you." 

:

The same tears shed back then wet Renjun's pillow again tonight, but this time he couldn't sleep for the knives of anxiety that kept stabbing his stomach, because he knew that the same thing that happened to his father would happen to him.

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heyyy how dya like that,, actually tell me how that was I've never written a sadass scene like that jhsbkue can you tell