having my number in your phone really takes you for a ride.
@0208Hannah , who is my bestie IRL, is the recipient of 90% of these texts, and I just want to say,

I'm so very sorry.

Part 1/♾

-"it's what you do when you get off a bad Harry Potter fanfiction"

-"do you think it's bad i can't look at myself in the mirror without laughing"

-"WHERE ARE THE TURTLES?!?!"

-"That's a new kind of trauma
Stealing someone's socks?"

-"can i offer you a flower in these trying times"

-" "boundary line" threw me"

-"THE GHOST OF ALEXANDER HAMILTON HAS POSSESSED ME, HE NOW CONTROLS MY EVERY MOVE"

-"that requires effort.
and it's cold outside"

-"i ain't scared of pin
*pain
i am scared of pin"

-"guess who just burned herself again"

-"So i found a pokémon"

-"I've listened to three hours of people talking about crime"

-"IF YOU SEND ME MOMO I SWEAR"

-"i physically cannot take a good selfie"

-"but idc, because my love runs deep for frypan"

-"then we argued abt Bill Nye,"

-"The church group chat gives me so much anxiety"

-"I actually had to talk to people"

-"I headbanged, and my headphones fell straight on the floor"

-" *facepalms x100* "

-"I got the prince, now I want to chuck the prince off the tower"

-"I need to make t-shirts that say "sucks to suck"

-"I was told I'd still be beautiful even if I turned into a chicken nugget"

-"We were playing Minecraft together, as one does,"

-"LEMME GO PUT UP REGGIE"

-"Are crop top sleeves supposed to look like this?
I've never had one before, I wouldn't know"

-"am i supposed to be able to hear my organs"

+My friend's responses:
-"THE GOVERNMENT MADE YOU INTO A ROBOT
OBVIOUSLY"
-"I do all the time, is that not supposed to happen?"

-"Also yes that is a Spongebob towel"

-"I don't have sticks for arms, I am The Rock"

-"Yes you're a gof"

-"I would never stoop so low as to steal a meme"

-"the definition of insanity is knowing 4 different remixes of that coffin dance song by heart"

-"if you put enough salt on anything, it to can become steamed broccoli"

-"even satan fears soggy chips"

uhhh, yea. i say some WILD things, and this is a compilation of 6 months worth of texts or random things i have in my notes that i said and wrote down bc i thought it was so weird