Ashton

When I get to the office on Wednesday, there's a note on my desk. There's also a vase with flowers.

  Ashton,

  Thank you so much for all of your hard work over the last month. I'm so glad we were connected with you for this project - we're beyond happy with all of your work and the new look for our company.

  I'll be in touch with Angela for any future things we need done, as well.

  -Johnny Santos 

  It usually feels good getting a personal note and flowers from a client, but this just feels weird, given that it's Oliver's uncle. I know Oliver is going to have something to say about that when he comes in. All I wanted over the last few weeks was the hurry up and finish the job, and now it's completed. A week early and with a very satisfied client.

  Oliver and I never had that conversation, and I'm feeling very uncertain. He left random things around the empty office, which I noticed yesterday, so I know he'll be back to at least tidy up. My heart is beating a little too fast all day, while I transition into my new job - a small business salon who needs large scale posters and wall ads made.

  I'm in the middle of answering a few emails and going over the list of what I need to start with, when my office door opens. Oliver just barely peeks his head in and the look on his face is a mix of relief and dread, somehow.

  "Hey," I say casually. "You need something?"

  He gives quick nod. "Just picking up some stuff... since I won't be here after today."

  "Oh, right." I say this as if I wasn't keeping track of him already. "Um, anything in here?"

  He pretends to look around the room quickly. "I don't think so. Um, can we go somewhere for lunch?"

  My heart rate doubles and I immediately want to argue. I want to tell him no, I will not go somewhere for lunch with him. I will not give him the satisfaction. But we do have things to talk about. And this is our last chance, per se.

  "I can leave for an hour, around 12:30P.M," I say quietly.

  It's only quarter after ten.

  Oliver nods again. "Okay, I'll meet you here."

  The next two hours go by at a snail's pace. I'm in contact with Judy Wilson, the owner of the salon, and I've already started making up mock designs to show my team at the meeting tomorrow. I like going right into new projects. My stomach is growling when it turns noon, and I reach into my bag for an apple that I packed this morning. The last few minutes go by feeling like hours, but finally there's a tapping on my door.

  I stand up from my desk and fix my skirt and top, then run my fingers through my hair. I have no idea where we're going or if it's even appropriate that we are, but I still want to look good. I feel like I can't breathe when the door slowly opens.

  "Is it a good time?" Oliver wants to know.

  He's wearing jeans and a dress shirt, tucked in. His hair is styled like usual and he looks like he's been working out or something - weird. His face is a bit red and sweaty. My body reacts in an odd way - something about how he looks intrigues me.

  "Yeah. I'm ready to go," I say, and then cross the room after picking up my purse. "Were you... um..."

  Oliver takes in a deep breath. "I was actually helping move some big items around at my uncle's office. I almost didn't make it back here in time, so I rushed out of there and -"

  He stops when he sees that I'm smiling. "Let's go."

  Downstairs, I walk directly over to my small, gray car. I bought it a little over a year ago and it's done me well, but it's nothing fancy. Oliver shakes his head and points to his - a white sports car of some sort.

  "I can drive myself. I have to be back here afterwards," I tell him. "Where do you want to go?"

  "My house is literally two blocks from here, Ashton," he says, and it hits me in this moment that he's right.

  I haven't even thought about it much, but Oliver's house is pretty damn close to my office. Tyson moved out of his dorm room and into Oliver's house at the end of his last semester of college. So, that summer before we broke up, I spent a bit of time at Oliver's house. Usually Friday nights, because it was where we moved our get togethers. Sometimes other people were around, sometimes it was just the three of us. In over a year, I haven't drive down that street. I have avoided going that way home, back to my apartment.

  "I'm not going to your house," I say, without really thinking.

  "Why not?" he wants to know, looking frustrated.

  I unlock my car and walk over to the driver's side door. "Because I'm not."

  Oliver sighs and then nods. "Fine. There's a Starbucks across the street from my house." 

  Why is he so set on me being close to his house? Starbucks is a good idea, though. I love their egg sandwiches and that way, we're in public. He won't try to pull something.

  "Okay. See you there in a few minutes," I say and open my car door.

  I think he's still waiting for me to go with him, but he soon realizes I won't, so he turns and go towards his car. Why does the have such a nice sports car? He used to drive an older truck. Shaking my head, I start my car and back out of the parking spot.

  Of course, Oliver makes it to the Starbucks before me. I have no idea how but he's at the counter, already ordering, when I push open the door. He doesn't look over but he must know it's me.

  "Ordered you a vanilla latte. And one of those egg things," he says, as casual as ever.

  One - why in the world would be order for me? Two - he remembers what I like ? Ugh. I need to remind him that we are not friends.

  My cheeks feel warms when I answer. I don't know if I'm embarrassed or a bit mad. "Thanks."

  Oliver leads me over to a table in the corner and thankfully it's not very busy in here. Across the room is a woman, on her laptop. There's about three people working. We're not alone by any means, but we have some privacy.

  I eat the egg sandwich fast. Oliver watches, while sipping his black coffee. Yes, he ordered black coffee at Starbucks. When my food is gone I pull my drink towards me and look up at him.

  "You didn't have to buy this for me."

  "I know."

  He's so cocky but he's not even smiling. His face is just serious. His eyes are dark and so very telling. This has the potential a to be a very important conversation, if I allow it. I haven't decided yet.

  "So-" I begin, a moment later.

  At the same time, he says, "Ashton, I-"

  I let out a laugh and then sip my drink. He waits. "You go first," I finally say.

  He nods. "I tried for a long time to figure out what happened, last August. I just felt like I had to know. I wanted to hear it from Tyson but he... he shut down. And then he left."  I have no idea if Oliver is planning to go on, but I wait. I don't know what to say. "He refused to talk about you or what happened. For two weeks, he avoided it all and then he took off, to Maine. For six months."

  My mouth opens and I know what I want to say but I stop myself. I bite my bottom lip and pull in a breath. I didn't know Tyson took off last fall but I'm glad he wasn't around. I am glad I didn't have to run into him anywhere around town. Maybe he left because he felt so guilty. Maybe he was just hiding from his mistakes.

  Oliver sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "What happened, Ashton? Everything was good with you and Ty, and then... fuck. I tried to get a hold of you afterwards, because Tyson shut down and wouldn't talk about it."

  "What happened?" I repeat. "Seriously?"

  Oliver looks confused and I can tell he's waiting for me to go on.

  "You really don't know what happened?" I ask, because it feels like the right moment. I guess we're really doing this.

  His eyes go wide and he just stares at me. "I swear."

  "And you want to know? Now?"

  "Yes. God, I know it really doesn't matter now. But it has haunted me for so long. Why you just disappeared."

  My mouth drops open and I have to physically react to close it. "I didn't disappear. It wasn't my fault."

  Oliver just looks at me, waiting.

  "Tyson cheated on me. And then he denied it and got mad that I didn't trust him."

  Oliver's face turns pale and he shakes his head back and forth, fast. "No."

  "You don't believe me? You think I'd lie-"

  "No. I do believe you. But I can't... I can't believe that little shit. You were so good for him. You made him better."

  "Oliver, don't. There's no point."

  "I know, but... it wasn't just his life he fucked up. I was happy then, too. My parents... they..."

  "I thought you all cut me out of your lives because you believed him and not me," I admit. I feel so dumb right now.

  "What? No. Tyson never talked about what happened between you two."

  Shit.

  "You were just gone." He sounds heartbroken.

  Damnit.

  "I... I didn't mean to just disappear. But he... he broke me. He looked me right in the face and said 'I can't believe you don't trust me'. He lied. Christina's roommate saw him with another girl and Christina confirmed it."

  "Tyson..." Oliver says, shaking his head again. "He never knew how to be a good boyfriend, or friend. In high school, he just did whatever he wanted. He didn't care who he hurt. When he met you, I could tell he was different."

  "Well, it didn't matter. He cheated on me. I don't think it was just once," I say and I'm not thinking about how this will make Oliver feel.

  Now, Oliver looks angry. No, he looks livid. "I can't believe... actually I can believe it. But that's the worst part." He's whispering. "That asshole."

  "That night I confronted him about it... I saw him for who he really was after so long, and it scared me. I broke up with him and he walked out, without a fight. He didn't even try to argue, so I let him go."

  Oliver tightens his hands around the coffee cup. His anger is brewing. "Two years. He threw away two years-"

  "I was completely devastated, Oliver."

  He looks up and I see compassion in his eyes. He's still mad but it's dissipating now.

  "We were too. My parents and I."

  "Why didn't you call me?" I ask, suddenly. I don't mean to blame him for any of this, but I want to know.

  "I tried. I mean, only once or twice. You didn't pick up." He looks sad now. His anger is leaving him.

  "Well... I ignored a lot of calls the first few weeks, I guess," I admit.

  "He... he left town, a few weeks after you broke up. He was just gone. I checked in on him weekly but... it was so odd. And then he came back. And he was so secretive and different. And then..."

  I can't help myself. "The accident?"

  Oliver nods. He's at a loss for words which is rare for him. He's right there in front of me with tears in his eyes. And for some reason I want to comfort him. I don't have any more anger towards him. I don't feel like I want to get away from him. 

  "I miss him. So damn much. There's no day that goes by that I'm not pissed at him, but I really miss him," Oliver whispers.

  "Of course. He's your brother."

  He sighs and sips his coffee. "I've missed you, too. "

  This catches me by surprise. He's said a few things over the past five weeks that have surprised me but this is definitely the worst. He missed me? We were friends, sure. But I didn't hear a word from him after Tyson and I broke up. I was sure he was Team Tyson and wanted nothing to do with me.

  I don't know what to say, so I'm glad when my phone alarm goes off. I set it for every day at 1:15pm to remind me to get back to work, whether I actually left the office for lunch or not. Usually I'm still there when the alarm goes off. Good thing we're only two blocks away.

  "I really have to-" I stop because he's already nodding.

  "Of course. Yeah, get back to work."

  I let out a breath I was holding in and push back out of the chair. There's no way this is the end of this conversation so I'm just waiting for him to say something. I won't be the one to initiate another lunch or whatever.

  "You really wanted me out of your office, huh?" he goes on, grabbing his coffee and standing up.

  I narrow my eyes at him. "What?"

  "We still had next week, but you made sure to have everything done-"

  "I'm good at my job. No point I'm drawing it out." My heart is beating too fast. I hurt his feelings and I don't know what to think about that.

  "Right. Okay. Well..."

  "Okay..."

  "See ya, Ashton."

  He's just going to let me go, like this? He's not even attempting to meet up with me again? I'm shocked now. Why am I the one who doesn't feel like this is really the end?

  "Thanks for... lunch."

  "Yeah." He picks up his empty coffee cup.

  I turn away because this all fees so wrong and I need to go. I'm in the doorway , literally leaving, when I glance back and see him talking to the barista. She's laughing and he's smiling and it's like our conversation never happened.