Ashton

Christina is okay.

  I mean, she's devastated, as any girl would be after what happened. I still feel like I want to either scream at him or punch him in the dick.

  She's throwing herself into work, but she's overall okay. We're planning on going to my mom's on the weekend to have a girls' day, drink wine and eat pizza. We all need it and I'm so looking forward to it.

  I just have to get through the rest of this week.

  I have ignored exactly two more texts from Oliver since the weekend, when he kissed me and then took off. I need to focus on myself and my best friend. I don't need his drama. I haven't even told Christina about it. That's the plan for this weekend, too.

  It's Friday - finally the end of this crazy long week, and I'm just about ready to go out the door. Christina's waiting for me at her apartment and we're going to watch the new episode of the drama series she's obsessed with right now. This week, I'll do whatever she wants.

  There's a knock on the office door as I am packing up my bag. I'm sure it's Angela checking in, so I call for her to come in.

  It's not Angela, I see that as the door opens slowly.

  Oliver is standing in the doorway, and he looks way too good. It's only been five days since I've seen him, but it feels like longer. I feel that feeling that I'm happy to see him, even though I've been avoiding his texts. This is just unexpected.

  "What are you-" I start, because I'm literally shocked that he'd just show up here.

  I step forward and come around my desk, but he's still in the doorway, about fifteen feet away. I'm keeping my eyes on him, his gorgeous face, the bit of stubble on his cheeks, his black sweater with a hood that I've never seen him wear. I don't notice that he's holding something until it makes a noise.

  I'm frozen. I can't move or think or even blink. What the hell is going on?

  "Ashton," he begins, and slowly lowers the baby car seat to the ground in front of him.

  He steps forward to my office door closes, but he stays where he is. He has a baby with him. The baby was what made the noise.

  I still can't formulate words so I just stand there, waiting.

  "This is going to be... you've been avoiding me, and I -" he tries, but I'm just so confused.

  "What's going on?" I finally ask, my heart racing.

  "This is why I... why I didn't come back here last week, and why I was so out of it, when I called you on the weekend," he admits.

  "I don't... I don't understand."

  Suddenly his face changes and it's like something clicks. "Shit. I have to explain. Tyson... you know he cheated on you. I didn't know that until you told me. Well... this girl showed up at my house last week... with this baby." He stops, taking in my reaction, then lets out a breath. "She told me that Tyson knew she was pregnant and he went to Maine for a few months but he came back and told her he was going to take care of her the baby. And then he died. This girl was eight months pregnant." 

  What. The. Actual. Fuck?

  I'm just standing there holding onto my desk for dear life. I'm replaying all of this in my head but it's not making sense. It must show on my face.

  "The girl... I thought she tracked me down and was asking for money, you know, to help with the baby? I would have given her money."

  Now I notice that Oliver looks like he's in distress. I step forward again.

  "She basically said she can't keep her and if I wasn't going to take her than... I mean, took the baby because she was going to drop her off at the hospital and just abandon her."

  I'm just staring at Oliver in shock. He's got tears in his eyes.

  "It's my niece, I couldn't just abandon her."

  I open my mouth and try to say something, but nothing comes out. I already knew that Tyson had cheated on me. I knew it was probably more than once. But this? Knowing he got this girl pregnant while he was with me, and then he died?

  "You knew... when you came over? When you-" I spit out, finally.

  "Yeah, I know. I felt like shit about kissing you and not telling you about the baby, so I left." Oliver looks like he's a second away from crumbling.

  "Where was she? When you came over on Sunday?" I want to know.

  "With my parents. We've... we took a paternity test and it's definitely Tyson's daughter. The fucking girl left me a fake number, so I can't get a hold of her. We're going through all of this stuff, filing for adoption and... it's just so much." I've never seen Oliver like this, on the verge of breaking down.

  "I really don't know what to say," I tell him.

  "I know. I probably shouldn't have even come here tonight, but... I just..." He looks away from me, at the baby, and then away again. He's so torn, I can tell.

  "Oliver... it's okay that you came. I... I have been ignoring your texts, because I didn't know... I thought you regretted kissing me."

  He exhales loudly. "No. I didn't. But now things are really complicated."

  "Yeah. They are," I agree.

  I glance down for the first time and look at the car seat, by his feet. The baby is tiny with wide open eyes. She's staring right at me, with Tyson's eyes.

  "God, she's pretty. She looks-"

  "Like my stupid brother," Oliver finishes.

  "Yeah." Tears form in my eyes. "Exactly."

  "I don't know anything about babies. My mom wants to be involved a lot but... I'm going to be her parent because... my parents are older and..."

  I step forward and wrap my arms around Oliver without thinking twice. He needs me. He needed me on Sunday night too, but he was too afraid to tell me about the baby. I don't know what to think about any of this, but I know that I missed Oliver this week. I know that I liked kissing him. And I know that I want to help him, now.

  "You're so amazing," I tell him, into his chest.

  He keeps me close to his body but makes a noise that is sort of like a grunt. I pull back a bit and look up at him. He's got the most serious look on his face.

  "I'm not amazing. I'm stressed out and I can't believe my brother did this and now... I have to deal with his mess." He pauses, just for a second. "I hate him, Ashton. And somehow I love this baby."

  "Oliver..." I let his name stay on my lips a moment too long. "You don't have to do this... you're choosing to. That makes you amazing."

  "She's my niece." He looks down at the car seat once again. "God, she's pretty freaking cute, huh?"

  "She really is."

  He sighs and steps back, so we're no longer touching each other. "I don't even know why I came to tell you this. It's not like... you have every reason to tell me to leave. This mess has nothing to do with you."

  "That's true, I guess. But you... you have something to do with me," I tell him, and I mean it. It's the first time I'm really admitting it out loud.

I never got over Oliver. I got over Tyson, he made that easy by hurting me. But I never got over whatever I had with Oliver, but it was just cut  off so abrubtly.

  "I do?" he asks, just as the baby makes a cute little noise.

  "Yes. I think I realized it when we were at Starbucks that day... or maybe before that, I don't know. But... you are... were... my friend. I cared about you then and... I still do."

  "You care about me?" The way he asks this is adorable, like he really doesn't believe it.

  "Yes, I do."

  "Okay. So what does that mean?" Oliver looks so flustered and confused and surprised, all at once.

  I shrug and then smile, looking down at the baby again. "You don't have to do this all alone. I'm... here."

  "You have no obligation to this baby-"

  "No, I don't. But she didn't do anything wrong. Her parents did, but her? She's just a innocent child. And you need help."

  "Fuck. You're the one who's amazing, you know that?" he tells me, stepping closer.

  I don't say anything. I know what's happening right now and I feel a bit like I'm in shock. He's right in front of me, just like when he was in my kitchen, not even a week ago. I feel the same things running through my body. He's got the same look in his eyes.

  "I really liked kissing you," he whispers, leaving a bit a space between us.

  I suck in a breath. "Yeah?"

  "What did you think about it?" he wants to know.

  "I... I didn't like that you left the way you did."

  His expression changes slightly. Regret fills his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't feel like I had any right to kiss you when I was keeping this big secret."

  "I get it."

  "So... what do you think about kissing me, now?" he asks, and then grins.

  I close the space between us and press my mouth to his. He pulls me closer and gets a hand into my hair, fitting his mouth perfect against mine, his tongue immediately finding mine.

  This is going to be complicated, I know that already. But it's so obvious that we can't avoid our feelings for each other any more. For right now, I just want to ignore the rest of the world and kiss this man.