Elizabeth

I awoke with a start as someone gently but urgently tapped on my shoulder. I blinked blearily, rubbing away the crust from the corners of my eyes as I stared at the bus lady standing before me.

"We are in Annit Town, hun," She told me with a small smile.

She waited for me to get my bearings as I peered around the coach bus with blurry eyes. To my surprise, the bus was nearly empty, save for a few students here and there, scattered in the back seats of the bus and pulling their luggages from the upper compartments. I waited for them to pass before quickly gathering my belongings.

"Thank you," I murmured in a muted tone as the bus lady assisted me with a small smile. For a middle-aged bus driver, she was pretty nice to me, her chocolate brown eyes crinkling whenever she glanced over at me. I wasn't too sure as to why she was giving me special treatment but I greatly appreciated it. As she guided me out, I tripped over the last step of the bus and she caught my elbow before I could fall flat on my face.

"Whoa there," She exclaimed with an amused chuckle as she set my suitcase on the snow-caked ground. The wrinkles of her eyes crinkled as she eyed me appraisingly.

"Thank you," I repeated, chagrined at my clumsiness.

"Oh, no, don't thank me. You should thank Leo," she replied graciously as she headed back to the bus, settling down on the driver's seat.

"Leo?' I echoed in confusion, my brow inching up my forehead. Conscious of the disgusted expression on my face, I made an effort to smooth out my expression before she could see it.

"Oh, you know, the sweet girl sitting next to you," she explained with a somewhat impish grin. I blinked several times and slowly nodded, as if I was not surprised.

"Well, please thank her for me. Thank you as well," I said and she nodded affirmatively as she started the engine, the doors of the bus swishing shut and slowly idling away from the bus terminal.

Leo.

Now, I knew the name of the smoking delinquent that sat next to me but I was completely baffled. Such a considerate gesture was not something I had expected from a person like her and I wasn't sure if I liked it.

It meant that somehow or some way, I would end up owing her for the unasked favor and I did not like owing anyone anything–not if I can help it.

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"Oh, you are finally back! What took you so long? How was the ride?" Ah-ma pestered me in Cantonese with a mini-interrogation as I trudged inside the house, hauling my luggages with some difficulty.

I attempted to shoo her off with some placating words as I took off my snow-crusted shoes at the doorway, but she refused to listen to me, grabbing my backpack quickly and grunting from the weight of it. I still hadn't been able to answer her previous questions, but she was already talking a mile a minute..

"Why is your bag so heavy? What do you have inside here? You know carrying this much weight on your back is bad for you." Her disapproving tone followed me as I headed upstairs to my neatly-kept bedroom.

"Ah-ma, thank you for helping me but can you give me a minute?' I tiredly replied in her mother language as she bustled around my room with nervous energy, her dark-brown eyes peering inquisitively at me. She sighed and twisted her hands together anxiously, patiently waiting for me to readjust to my surroundings.

I glanced around my room, which unsurprisingly had not changed much since last semester. The queen-sized bed was still made neatly, not a single crease detected over my blue bed sheet and the heavy, massive oriental blanket was rolled into a perfect, square shape at the end of my bed. Everything was left untouched, from my study desk to my walk-in closet, my five-by-five foot bookcase organized with books with the spine facing outward in alphabetical order. I could tell that Ah-ma had come into my room periodically to clean and dust and to make sure my room was preserved in pristine conditions for my arrival. The only thing that seemed to change was a small vase perched on the surface of my bookshelf, with fresh pale-pink roses to brighten up the room.

I raised a brow and dropped my bag on the floor, turning to her. "What's this? You know I have allergies," I remarked lightly, seeing her face fall in response.

"You don't like it? I will remove it right away but your grandparents were saying your room looked too depressing," she answered, walking over to the bookshelf. I watched her grab the vase gingerly, holding it closely to her.

"You know what? Just leave it," I finally said, even though I was going to regret it later. "Popo won't be happy if you take it away."

Ah-ma set the vase down, rearranging the roses systematically, her eyes twinkling in delight. "Are you hungry? I have some rice congee for you. Are you still cold? Take a hot shower, and come to the dining room, I will help you unpack everything," she offered, cheering up once more.

I held in my exasperated sigh, biting my inner cheek as she continued without pausing for breath as she peered intently at me.

"Aiya, Elizabeth, did you lose weight again? You need to eat! You're too skinny-la, and you will get cold like this very easily," she clucked over me in English, shaking her head slightly.

I waited until she was finally done hovering above me and quickly found my way to the bathroom with my pajamas and a fresh towel in hand, finally escaping her probing eyes and overbearing questions.

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Three Hours Later

"So, Liz, do you have a boyfriend yet?" Auntie Mei asked as her chopsticks swished across her face as she munched on a fishball. She appeared to be more interested in her food as she asked the question, but all eyes swung to my direction, curiously awaiting my response.

The family had decided on a hotpot night to celebrate my long-awaited arrival from college and the long table was saddled with uncooked dishes such as Napa cabbage and bok choy, raw fish and raw beef brisket rolls and of course, the fried tofu and meatballs. Ah-ma had taken the opportunity to invite my aunties, Auntie Mei and Auntie Chun, and alongside them, they had my cousins in tow.

I was expecting this already, since it was a long-time tradition and had expected Auntie Mei to ask the dreaded question as well. I gave her a polite smile, taking a sip of my water.

"No, Auntie, I am focusing on school right now," I replied, much to everyone's disappointment.

She tutted at me, unsatisfied with my dry response. "Why don't you have a boyfriend by now? You're not ugly and you have good skin. You're smart and skinny, so why no boyfriend? Even Cindy has a boyfriend and this is her first year in college," Auntie Mei exclaimed, looking flabbergasted.

Cindy was just two years younger than me and was sitting across from me, in the middle of chomping down on some cabbage. She lifted her head when she heard her name and then glanced over at me apologetically. My other cousin, Amy, the same age as me ducked her head in embarrassment and began to tend to her two-year old, pretending that her name was not about to be announced next.

"You see Amy? She's your age, is married and has a baby right for me to play with? And Brandon is still in high school so I let it go for now," Auntie Mei continued. She eyed me closely, and I could tell that she was wondering what was possibly wrong with me.

"Aiya! Leave her alone, Mei," Auntie Chun chimed in, looking at her elder sister in disapproval. "Don't rush her, she is not ready! Maybe after you graduate, right, pretty girl?" She shot me a smile and I nodded my head, keeping my mouth shut.

Ah-ma chuckled nervously as I sat quietly, as Auntie Mei began to chatter on. My cousins had the decency to look chagrined on her behalf but thank goodness, Auntie Chun was not as bad as her. Her children, Samantha and Andrew were in out of state universities and they weren't going to be back until two days from now and she seemed content, waiting for them to graduate before she could start making her demands.

My grandparents were another story, and while they already had one grandchild before them, they wanted more but after a few moments of pestering me about my nonexistent love life, they finally left me alone, knowing that my answer will still remain unchanged.

Eventually, they left but before I could go back to my room and finally have a chance of peace and quiet, Auntie Mei turned towards me, grasping my arm loosely, a devious twinkle in her eye. "If there are no good boys in college, let me know. I have a few friends whose sons have very good professions and are ready to settle down, so let me know!"

I was aghast by her last words and Auntie Chun groaned in annoyance, practically shoving her out of the door, complaining to her in Cantonese. "Don't bother her, you're making her stressed."

With that, the door finally closed after Ah-ma bid her farewells to the boisterous family, turning to me with a sympathetic smile. "Elizabeth, you do not need to listen to them," she began to say but I simply shook my head at her and wordlessly went upstairs, keeping my face straight and expressionless.

I plopped down on my bed, grabbing my laptop along with me. Their words circled in my head and I couldn't help remembering Auntie Mei's concerned expression. It was clear she had expected the same answer, but the accusing tone in her voice dug deep under my skin. It was annoying, to say the least, and although it took a lot of effort, I made sure that my irritation was not too obvious on my face.

I could deal with academic pressure but familial pressure was an entirely different area, something I hated to deal with. But they didn't understand and probably wouldn't–not when Asian traditions were so focused heavily on family and children, and of course, success. I simply didn't have time to entertain another person, let alone another man, especially not in college. Their intentions, especially at my age, were to fool around, have fun and party and I didn't have the luxury for that. Or the emotional capacity either.

It was okay with me because I didn't have any interest in the opposite sex, and secretly, I wondered if it was because I might be asexual. It was hard to say, and regardless, no one had appealed to me.

Not now.

And probably not ever–and I was okay with that.