strong scents of freshly baked goods and lavender tickle ella's nostrils as she strolls down her neighborhood, hands clutching onto her tote bag that's weighing on her shoulder ─ courtesy of the two journals and her four hundred-paged romance novel, or rather, her comfort book, that the woman's carrying with her everywhere she goes.

today's a beautiful day.

it's mid-october, yet the weather resembles nothing sort of autumn-ish. the sun's burning bright up in the sky, white fluffy clouds hanging from the clear blue. there's a pleasant breeze that's blowing, combing through her significantly long hair. the birds chirp their cheerful song while flying above her head, adding to the pretty canvas today's day is.

it is, indeed, a beautiful day.

she skips down the expanse of the sidewalk, maneuvering through the people she's grown up amongst with wishes for a good morning & smiles that reach her tinted red ears ─ the weather has contributed to her good mood in ways no walk in the foggy local park or reading a book under her thick grandma-core blankets could possibly do.

she walks past the cafe at the corner & grabs her usual order ─ hot caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream. she walks out the small place with the warm beverage in her hands and sets off to her destination; the bookstore a few blocks away. it's her most recent discovery & a place she's been visiting every single day since last month. it's a store located in a not so busy street, housed in the ground floor of a three storey building, & it sells both books and stationary stuff ─ hence why it's usually crowded by students who need to purchase a last minute pen or notebook.

a last minute pen.

a pen.

he could've been in her life, if it were for a single pen.

ella thinks about heeseung quite often ─ if by 'quite often' one means 'every five minutes and twenty eight seconds', then yes, she does think of him quite often. it's been exactly two years since the day they first met inside the train that'd take her straight to paris, only for the woman to disembark with him in vienna upon his request. and it was the best decision she's ever made.

ella never stopped looking for him. she searched him up on social media, but it was like the guy was nowhere to be found, as if he refused to leave any online traces of him. she'd visited harvard's official page, in hopes that there might be some sort of list that'll include his name, only to be met with nothing but information about the prestigious college.

about a year ago, she traveled to america to meet an online friend. given the opportunity, she visited the university, specifically the biomedical engineering department. after a two hour long pep talk from her friend & some internal encouragement, she'd persuaded herself into asking around about the guy ─ because how many heeseung guys can there be in a single department?

none.

she asked ten, twenty, about seventy students, until there was no one left to ask apart from the university itself ─ but she wouldn't do that.

did he lie to her?

she'll never know. ella flew back to paris with a heavy heart & a useless souvenir from the university ─ that she'd purchased before going on her little heeseung hunt. she never threw it away, however much it reminded her of him ─ matter of fact, she put the little keychain on her tote bag.

even after that, ella kept looking for him, but not with her past zeal and enthusiasm. there was a part of her that believed it was all some kind of lie & she was just too enarmored by the guy to notice anything, but there was also another, bigger part of her that never stopped hoping that god has something planned out for the two.

was she being delusional? probably.

however, there was one more part of her, a tad bit smaller than the others, that she would try hard to rid herself of whenever it got stuck in her mind. there were times where she'd wake up drenched in sweat after a dream, times that she'd spill hot coffee on her after immersing herself in a thought process that could only be described as self-destructive, times where she'd jolt up from her couch and grip onto her hair, mumbling to herself that this isn't the case.

what if he did it?

what if one day, he woke up and saw no purpose? what if he walked out of his dorm, grabbed his belongings and left? what if he dumped his id and credit cards in a river? what if he...

bloody what if's.

ella couldn't bare the thought of this being true ─ it couldn't be true. she'd rather believe that he was lying and he's now going on with his life than believe that he's gone. he's not gone. heeseung is not gone. and maybe she's borderline insane, but she can feel it, she can feel him. he's still out there, but where?

her lips part in a heavy sigh and she brings a hand up, rubbing it against her forehead. way to ruin the mood.

thinking about heeseung has always brought the biggest and most genuine smiles on her face, but today, for some reason unknown to her, it's tugging on her poor heartstrings in a painful manner. it's leaving a sour aftertaste, worse than the medicine her mother forced her to take whenever she was sick. it shouldn't be that way.

she takes a turn to the left and enters the empty road that leads her to the bookstore-slash-stationary shop. with her eyes still fixed on the dirty ground & the colorful patterns that adorn its surface, she fails to notice the huge row of people that's formed in front of the store & reaches down to the other side of the sidewalk.

it's not until their loud chattering and cheerful voices reach her ears, which comes as a big surprise to her ─ the neighborhood's usually gravely quiet, especially at this time of the day.

her brows pinch in a confused frown at the crowd, which consists of people of all ages, mostly women ─ from teen girls to middle-aged women. from her point of view, they look like a group of fangirls waiting to meet their favorite singer ─ is that what she looked like at jake sim's meet & greet last summer? embarrassing.

she approaches the crowd and tries to peek inside the widely open door, yet her eye meets nothing but bodies all clamped up against one another. she takes a few steps back, telling herself that she'll be coming back later, when something on the wall catches her eye.

with hasty 'excuse me's & quick steps, she reaches the beige brick stack and sees a handwritten poster glued on it.

ONLY FOR TODAY

IN STORE APPEARANCE:
ETHAN LEE

AUTHOR OF:
NOT THIS TIME

READING + Q&A

TIME: 09:00 - 11:00 AM

ella lifts the sleeve of her cardigan & checks the time on her wristwatch ─ it's 10:57. it's going to finish in a few, but it'll take some time for the crowd to dissipate and let her shop in peace.

for a moment, she considers staying to meet the author. judging from the big crowd, he must be very popular. maybe she can buy his book & give it a shot ─ considering the many teen girls and women waiting outside, as well as the title itself, it has to be a romance novel. her cup of tea.

it won't hurt, she thinks to herself & leans against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. as the minutes flow, the queue gets shorter and shorter, until there's hardly any people left outside. when the last two women waiting outside walk in, she checks her wristwatch again.

11:08. that meeting took longer than supposed ─ readers must really love his work.

she pushes herself off the wall and walks towards the door. just then, a woman, probably in her late forties, comes out and whips her head left to right, her heavy earrings jiggling with each movement. she spots the young woman approaching her and a smile spreads across her face, her bizarrely huge electric pink glasses sliding down her petite nose.

"ella, mon chéri!" she exclaims, arms spread wide as the intoxicating citrus scent of her cologne fills the air. "how are you today?"

"pretty good!" the woman replies and offers her a smile, walking up the two small stairs outside the door. "you?"

"fantastic!" she says and claps, her bracelets clinking against each other. "we had so many customers today!"

"i noticed." ella nods, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder. "i actually saw the poster outside and thought of staying to meet the author. he must be a great writer to have so many people lining up for him!"

"oh, mon chéri. his writing can only be described as divine." the woman says, eyes clenching as if the mere mention of the guy's writing skills brings her to tears. "god blessed this man with the ability to enchant you with his words. the way he writes feels so... real! it's like the plot unfolds before your eyes like a movie!" her dreamy expression then twists in that of mischief. "and not to mention that..." she brings her mouth closer to ella's ear. "...he's really, really handsome."

"i shall introduce you to him, mon chéri! see it as a thank you for being my most loyal customer!"

ella chuckles as the woman grabs her wrist and drags her further inside the store. "i really appreciate that, miss, but i'm pretty sure he's busy and─"

"absurdité! no one's ever too busy to meet great people." she throws a wink her way, making ella playfully roll her eyes with a tiny smirk on her face.

"monsieur lee!" the woman calls & lets go of ella's hand, leaving her alone at the register. "do you have a minute? i would like you to meet someone special!"

her voice fades into a whisper as she vanishes further inside the spacious place. ella leans against the counter, fingertips tracing the pens, pencils & erasers kept in small boxes. her gaze trails to the clock hanging above the owner's chair ─ the cat clock, as ella refers to it, due to the tiny cats on its wallpaper and the big, black one in the middle, whose paws work as the clock's hands.

11:11.

"monsieur lee! i'd like you to meet ella."

ella turns around at the sound of her name, smiling at the woman dragging a young man by his hand. he's got his head hanging low and his free hand is busy fixing the burgundy tie around his neck, which he had most probably untied once his fans had left.

"miss, give me a second. i can't be seen like tha─"

ella's read about this kind of feeling many times before ─ the one where two individuals meet eyes & it's like everything around them stops for a few moments. she always thought it's impossible to find yourself in this type of situation, but as the young man lifts his head and their gazes lock, the time freezes and everything else becomes a blur except for him.

heeseung is no better. he's read about this kind of feeling before ─ the one where two individuals who share a common past yet, for some reason, had to cut ties and part ways, meet again after a long time & when they look at each other, every bone in their body disappears & they have to hold onto something to not fall down. upon meeting eyes with the young woman before him, he's no choice but to grip onto the nearest furniture ─ a chair ─ and just look at her.

in a situation like this, even a great author with a rich vocabulary can go short of words.

she's changed; her hair's gotten much longer, her cheeks are hollower & her style has become more sophisticated. her tote bag, though, remains exactly the same, a bittersweet reminder of their time together in vienna ─ wait, is that a harvard keychain?

ella thinks that he's changed, too ─ much more than her. his hair is a bit shorter and they're styled in a way that exposes his forehead, his natural curls long gone. a pair of round specs is perched up on top of his cute nose, complimenting his mature dressing style; he's wearing a beige shirt tucked inside his dark brown dress jeans, bringing to light his toned abdomen that he hid underneath his baggy sweatshirt two years ago. however, that natural pout that ella grew to adore in those fifteen hours they spent together ─ and she's thought of quite a lot since then ─ remains the same.

the woman between them, though unaware of their history, catches onto the silence that's fallen upon her little shop. she ever so slowly makes her way out of the frame and resorts to busying herself with something else ─ however much her curiosity is itching to be satisfied, eavesdropping is not a decent thing to do.

"it's you."

ella is the first to break the silence after the woman's departure, yet she stays rooted to her spot. heeseung's audible gulp reaches her ears, adam's apple bobbing as he swallows thickly.

he has to say something.

"it sure seems like it." he says with a chuckle, and he's delighted to see her smile at his comment.

"you're an author now?" she says, still in disbelief. "last time i checked, you were on your way to become doctor who."

his head falls back in a laugh, hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. he looks at her with a tear rolling down his cheek ─ and he's well aware that it's because of her. "i didn't go."

"why?"

he shrugs. "it wasn't what i wanted." he takes a few steps closer to her and leans against the counter, keeping a distance between the two.

"and what about your parents?"

he chuckles. "they weren't happy, of course..." he winces, dipping his head to the left. "they still aren't over it. but i could care less." he crosses his arms over his chest and looks at her. "it's my life to decide what i'll do with it."

she smiles. "that explains why there was no heeseung at harvard."

he frowns. "you were looking for me?"

"i'd visited my friend in america and grabbed the opportunity." she tilts her head back, eyes growing watery. her smile gets wider. "i asked the entire bio-something department about you."

"what?!"

"yeah!" she exclaims through a laugh. "can you imagine asking seventy two students 'do you know heeseung?' and they're just staring at you like 'bitch, are you crazy?' like─ you'd think i'm crazy too, right?"

heeseung grips onto the counter, his eyes clenching from how hard he is laughing. "ella, you're nuts!"

"but i'm not judging." he shows her his palm. "cause i did the same."

she quirks a brow. "you asked the entire bio-something department about me?"

he shakes his head with a chuckle. "i came to paris, silly." he says and gives her shoulder a light push. "i looked for you in every university that had a translation & interpreting department ─ can you believe how many ella's are out there?" he says with a smirk, his brows pinched in a frown.

"it's quite the common name, isn't it?" she coos with a tiny smile. silence falls between the two, in which they are trying to figure out what to say next. heeseung's teeth worry on his bottom lip, while ella rocks nervously back & forth on her feet, eyes boring into the patterned carpet ─ she's spent thirty two days in this place and she just noticed that the big black splotches with the two white dots in the middle & the gray lines under them are cats.

"i missed you."

this time, heeseung is the one to speak up first. his voice breaks, but he could care less about it ─ the woman he has been thinking about on the daily for exactly two years now is right next to him, in flesh and bones. his heart has ached for her presence every second of the day, his body was calling for her touch, his lips kept chanting her name over and over in dreams and reality. he wouldn't let the universe take her away now; fate had worked its sweet ways & brought them back together ─ or was it god? heeseung's not religious, but he's gotten on his knees multiple nights and begged for whoever it was up there to grant his wish & allow him to find her again. it had to be one of these higher entities that helped him find her, that pushed him to choose this specific bookstore to hold his meeting.

"i missed you."

he never thought that those three small words could hold such a deep, heavy meaning. he never thought that such a mere sentence could bring him to his knees and have him cry like a toddler.

"i missed you so much."

her voice sounds closer this time; he realizes that he's in her embrace, her warmth seeping through his clothes, penetrating through his skin & bones and reaching the deepest parts of him. he immediately relaxes, letting go of the tears he has been holding in for minutes now. he allows himself this moment of weakness & vulnerability, because this is ella, the woman who spent fifteen hours with him and managed to forever win over him; the woman who made him feel seen and safe; the woman who gave him purpose, a reason to keep going.

"ella?"

"hm?"

"i manifested this."

the woman breaks out in a fit of loud laughter, holding onto his fragile body like he's going to slip away from her ─ he's not. not this time. "what do you mean?"

"in my book, i gave my characters a happy ending." he looks up at her, his glasses fogged up. she does the honor to take them off & place them on the counter as he adds: "they met again."

"yeah?" she sobs, running a hand through his hair. the hairstyle's all ruined, but he doesn't care. "did they find a way to keep in touch?"

a ghost of a smile appears on his face. he nods, slowly and surely. "they did. he moved to paris."

she chuckles. "he did?"

heeseung sits up a bit, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her close to him. he brings his other hand up & cups her cheeks, drawing gentle strokes with his thumb. "i did."

her brows raise. "what?"

"i did. i moved to paris." he repeats, sucking in a deep breath. "i'm now an official resident of paris."

"heeseung." she mumbles, unable to form a coherent sentence. he shushes her, grabbing both her hands in his & bringing them up to his mouth.

he presses his lips on them, his hot breath fanning against them as he speaks. "i'm not letting you go, ella."

"not this time."