the loud chattering of people drowns out the sharp noises of planes taking off. people run to their gates, holding clumsily onto their belongings and cussing when a jacket or a little purse falls to the floor, slowing them down. the kids whine in exhaustion & tug on their guardian's sleeve, rubbing their tiny fists on their eyes while yawning mid-complaint.

upon entering the huge building, ella feels her legs grow wobbly. in twelve minutes, she'll have to greet heeseung goodbye & catch the taxi she's called in order to be at the train station in time for her ride. with each step they take, her heart shatters a little more, but she won't let her feelings show; both had promised to not cry, but she's afraid she might break her promise.

scratch that, she will break it.

heeseung's grip on the strap of his backpack tightens, a ghostly white color adorning his once tinted pink knuckles. he's aware of the promise the two had given to each other, but as the two walk further inside the building and get sucked in by the crowd, he doesn't know if he's going to last long. every single step brings him closer to his departure & farther away from her.

they spot a row of vacant seats by the big windows and sit down, sighing in unison upon doing so. the sun casts yellow lines on the carpeted floor & brings to light the particles of dust that dance in the air, getting swayed by the people running to check in or grab some last-minute gifts from the souvenir section.

"which one's your gate?" ella asks, trying to spark a conversation with him; it's better than waiting in silence for the next ─ she briefly looks at the huge clock hanging on the wall ─ ten minutes.

"A3." he says, sitting up on his seat & jutting his chin to the direction of the said gate ─ the gate to pain, he thinks.

she nods, biting on the inside of her cheek. she inhales deeply through her nose, fiddling with the keychain & the lucky charms she's sewed on her bag; a star for her dad, a rose for her mom and a book for her. the sun penetrates through their transparent bodies and makes them glow like little diamonds.

"heeseung." she suddenly calls. he hums, letting her know that she's got his attention.

she's been thinking about this for a few minutes now ─ thirty two, to be precise. she's been wondering if that's something that he would like or not, a strong feeling of uncertainty and fear pooling at the pit of her stomach. he said a lot of stuff back there, when the two held each other like tomorrow's not a given and the world would collapse if they dared to let go, and he sounded genuine, but what if... what if...

bloody what if's. all they're good at is make you anxious to the bone & hold you back from doing something you'd do without hesitation, weren't it for the intrusive thoughts that have you second guessing. you've persuaded yourself that this is what you'll do ─ all it took was an inner pep talk and fifteen reasons as to why you should do it ─ only for a darn 'what if...' to come and crash your confidence.

however, she's made up her mind. she'll ask him what she's been itching to ask and to hell with his reaction ─ if what he said was the truth, then he won't hesitate to agree.

"would you like to keep in touch?"

his eyes go wide; did he hear that right? "w─what?"

"would you like to keep in touch?" she repeats, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

okay, he heard that right.

a tsunami of shivers strikes down his spine, rendering him speechless. for hours now, he's been dreaming up a future where he is an active part of her life, internally scolding himself for doing so; what if ella doesn't want him in her life? what if she boards her train to paris and forgets about him & this night? what if... what if...

bloody what if's.

his silence is starting to worry her ─ she's not made for the 'to hell with his reaction' mentality after all. the once small ball of uncertainty within her grows bigger, making her stomach churn and twist as she bites on her bottom lip to calm herself down and get rid of all the negative thoughts that flood her mind in a matter of milliseconds.

she opens her mouth to tell him to forget about it. upon lifting her head, though, she's met with a very smiley heeseung. his pretty lips are drawn in the widest grin she's seen him wear in those fifteen hours they have been together, eyes glossy with the tears that he's been trying hard to hold in for half an hour now.

"i'd love that." he mumbles, grabbing his backpack and zipping it open. he scoops out his phone and presses the button on the side, his hands shaking from the pure excitement that surges through his body.

but the screen remains black.

he presses again & holds, only to be met with his bewildered reflection once again. "shit." he mumbles.

"what?" ella asks, noticing the guy's worried expression.

"it's not turning on." after three futile attempts, he eventually gives up.

"give me your number." she says & pulls out her phone. she presses the button, feeling relieved that there is still a chance ─ a second, even stronger wave of disappointment, though, comes crashing down on her when the screen doesn't light up.

this must be some type of sick joke.

"mine's not turning on either." she says, witnessing the life draining out of heeseung's eyes.

a soft chuckle of disbelief rolls past his lips as he falls back on his seat & runs both trembling hands through his hair. "unbelievable."

this is not fair; why is the universe letting him cross paths with the most beautiful soul he's ever met and won't allow them to stay in touch? not even his parents could reach such a petty level of cruelty!

"wait! i've a pen!" the woman wastes no second & starts pulling stuff out of her bag. small notebooks, wrappers & receipts come flying out of it, landing sloppily on her lap, while he tries his best to catch the slipping ones before they hit the floor. "there it is!"

she opens a blue notebook and rips a small piece of paper from the last few pages. she places it on the hard cover & clicks the pen open, losing no time in checking if its working ─ it's not.

the pen is not fucking working!

"dammit!" she exclaims, gathering her stuff & throwing them in her bag. she looks at the clock, her heart skipping a beat upon seeing its big hand being an inch away from the number 12.

07:59.

a minute left.

"i'll go ask for a pen." in his hurry to stand up, he almost trips over thin air, sprinting towards the reception to ask for a pen. ella grabs her stuff & goes on a pen hunt of her own, asking any passersby if they have a spare one on them. none.

the universe must be against them.

she glances at the clock and her eyes widen. 08:00. the taxi must be already waiting outside.

she skips down the rows of seats and maneuvers through the crowd, hasty 'sorry's and 'excuse me's spewing out of her mouth. she reaches the exit in no time, immediately spotting the car and making her way towards it. she clings onto the rolled down window of the passenger seat, bending a little to look at the driver.

"do you speak english?"

"yes." the man says in a thick accent, leaning over to have a better look at ella. "are you the girl that booked a taxi?"

"yes. could you please give me two minutes? there's something i need to do." she pleads with her gaze, voice wavering as she grips onto the door for dear life, praying harder than ever that heeseung has found a pen and is now heading to their spot.

yet again, the woman's met with a disappointment. "i'm afraid you can't, miss ─ at least for free. you'll have to pay extra money." he says, pursing his lips right after.

"merde!" she slams her hand on the door, turning around to see heeseung running towards her with nothing in his hands.

"i saw you running outside." he says between huffs and puffs. "a whole ass reception & no pen, you hear me? no! fucking! pe─"

"i've to go."

heeseung panics. "w─wait a minute, i'll go ask someone else! hey, sir!" he shoves his head inside the car. "do ya have a pen?"

"sorry, young man." the driver says with a shrug, unaware of how much pain his words caused to the young pair. "miss? are you getting in?"

ella bites back a sob and turns around, trapping heeseung in a tight hug that she had to cut short before the guy could even return it. "i'm so sorry heeseung, i don't have enough money to─"

"it's okay." heeseung assures her and opens the door, urging her to get in. as if on pilot, she sits down on the warm leather seat & places her stuff on her lap, looking up at heeseung from the open window.

"we'll meet again."

her vision's blurry from the tears that brim at the corners of her bloodshot eyes, but she keeps looking at him, his words stinging just as painfully as the tiniest paper cut.

"i promise."

heeseung had never once imagined himself pinky promising to someone, but this is ella ─ the woman with the most beautiful soul who believes that pinky promises are way more solemn than any kind of promises.

so he swallows down his pride and sticks out his pinky, prompting her to do the same. her smile, warm & sweet like the summer afternoons spent on his parents' mansion in lefkas, makes his heart swell with adoration, as she links their pinkies and meets his eyes, tears staining her flashed cheeks.

"let's meet again, heeseung."

the driver starts the car and the two let go. he pulls out the side of the road and mingles with the rest of the cars that sprint down the highway, his full lips pressed in a sympathetic smile at the woman's state.

ella leans back against her seat, her head pounding and her limbs going numb. she sighs heavily, but it's not enough to release the pain within her.

we'll meet again. i promise.

a bitter smile spreads across her face as his words echo over & over in her head, hitting every corner of it. she closes her eyes, the fresh image of his hopeful eyes as he said that warming up her insides and making her heart melt into a puddle of wholesomeness.

she's religious, but she feels like she's never properly lived up to this title ─ she's shamefully used god's name in vain thousands of times & has skipped services without feeling guilty about it. however, in that very moment, she truly hopes that god will look past her irresponsible stance and listen to her honest prayers.

if the universe wasn't kind enough to be on their side, may god work his ways so that the two cross paths in the future.