"My son."

"HOLY CHEESE MCNUGGETS!" I screeched, falling over on my shell as I do. Feeling stupid when I realised it's just Sensei.

Welp.

..Hang on, Sensei?

..Shite.

"Oh hey! Hi! Sensei! Didn't see you there, I was just uhh... looking for the bathroom so, bye!" I dashed for my room. But before I could even get two steps, I was yanked back by my green scarf.

Oh come on!

"Where have you been?!" He yelled, and I half flinched because it's so loud like, why you need to shout??

"I'm pretty sure I'm only 10 centimeters away from you, no need to shout.." I grumbled.

Sensei rolled his eyes,-yes! Pretty rare, huh?-, and sighed. Looking at me dead in the eyes.

"Raphael and the others just left to look for you."

Oh that's nice, Raph cares about me- hOLD THE PHONE, THEY WHAT?!!

"THEY DID THE FRICKLE WHAT???!!!!!!"
So many exclamation and question marks..

Noticing my utterly, disastrous state, Sensei fills me up about the whole thingamajig.

"Raphael told us about you, or rather your alter-self. And now they are looking for you at Shredder's."

"And here I thought I can escape that abomination of a Cheese Grinder." I muttered, crossing my arms and pouting.

"I told them that your Leonardo-self is going for a solo mission."

"Oh that's great! Infact, tell them that I went to Central America and learns Spanish!"

"Leonardo."

"Okay okay, sorry. ....do they have nandos tho?"

"Leonardo Aoi Coral Hamato."

"Geez some- OKAY OKAY PUT THAT CANE DOWN! DON'T HIT ME!" I screamed as I ducked the cane Sensei used as a walking stick, which is also a whip and a hitter combined into one lean mean green stick.

Who even invents that cane?

He groaned and rubs his forehead, the things he'll do whenever he's frustated.

"So.. now what?"

"I don't know. Go look for them or something, do whatever you want, just don't kill anyone in the process."

I saluted. Attack on Titan styled salute.

SIE SIND DAS ESSEN- Okay, I'll shut up.

"I will. Although, about the killing part... I don't think i can exactly... do that."

"..What did i ever do to your mother? Why did she left me with you?"

"Umm.. because you married her sister..?"

"That was rhetorical."

"Oh."

"Honestly, just. Go."

"Wow, that's kinda cold. I was thinking of an advice or something but noooo.."

"..Actually, I have one. Don't die."

"Aye aye capt'n. Come Stephen, let us hurry to save our brothers!"

-----

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we-"

"For goodness sake- Why the heck are you even here Deadpool?! This book just got into PG rating because you are here!"

"....meh."

"Outta here! Shoo shoo! And get Fix it Felix Jr. To fix the fourth wall. Again."

"Awwwwwww..."

"..If i'm buying you chimichangas, will you get out?"

"Okay. Bye sweetheart!~"

"..What the freak just happened?"

^^ ((Apparently author got drunk from coffee. She's screaming and trembling in her room because she's super hyped that she couldn't even type words correctly. And the thing is, she never uses auto-correct..

She's frustated because she can't type the 'are we there yet' repeatedly because of it, and no one is there to pointed out she could just use copy-paste..))

------

"How Donnie even manages to break through the window using a gum and a compass is beyond me." I grumbled, chomping furiously on my blueberry bubblegum as i hid behind the pillars on the rooftop outside Tin Can's dorm.

Phew! That was a long sentence.

Anywaysies, the room is dark. The whole place is dark. Where the heck is everybody?

As if in cue, the lamp suddenly lights up, making me yelped before quickly regaining my composure and hide in the shadows.

Talk about major illuminati. Illumi-NUTTY! HAHAH! TAKE THAT AUTHO- OKAY OKAY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME IN THIS BOOK!

Back to our recent topic. Ahem!

...with, Conan O'Brien and Oprah Winfrey. Starring; Tin Can. Whoops.

Anywho, Piggy-bank walked in followed by his sidekick the Ugly Unicorn. Hello Kitty close behind with Sushi and Twillie, followed by Hot-head and-

...Oh. I guess i found them.

...And how did they even manage to knock Mikey out? That kid even moves in his sleep! I demand to know!

All goes just like the standard hollywood movie, bad guys interrogating the good guys with dramatic effects along some threats given and thrown here and there. Yeah, very Michael Bay, whatta trash.

..Untill I saw Tin Can actually unseathing his claw things and lunged off towards Raph,-who's the only turtle awake btw. They are only interrogating him.

"This calls for drastic measure."
Cue the James Bond theme please.

Dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun-

Oh what the heck, sneaking in the shadows is too mainstream.

..Meh. Batman mode flipped on.

Using Stephen, I broke the glass window in one hit. Shatters of prickly glasses scattered everywhere, creating a very very loud noise.

"Nananananananananananana BATMAN!" I cackled, swooping in with my green scarf flowing behind me, part of it covering my face.

I am the darkness. Fear me. Boo.

"It's the turtle!"

"No! This is pATRICK!" I yelled, whacking Twillight McWerewolf unconscious with Stephen before swinging to battle.

"YO WARTHOG! I GOT A KISS DELIVERY FOR YA!"

"Really?! From who?!"

"Yo' mama." And bang! Two out, ....one.. three.. four more to go!

Unicorn is a little bit mad at me for knocking out Piggy. He's lowering himself on the ground and scoffed, lunging at me with his horn aimed at my head.

When the sharp tip is just an inch away from my face, I easily sidestepped him. Tripping his feet with my own which made him hurled over to the wall and knocked out unconcious.

"Olé."

"Kid! Honestly focus!"

I froze. My eyes twitched.

"AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU FINALLY REMEMBER MY NAME! GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE, IT'S NOT THAT LONG! ONLY TWO LETTERS GET IT RIGHT!" I screeched, banging Sushi in the face with Stephen for no apparent reason.

..Wait, we're supposed to be fighting. Right right, okay Ao, gotta focus- oh look! I see a coin!

I kneeled down on the floor to pick the shiny golden coin up, also managing to dodge Hello Kitty's deadly punch in the process.

Can't. Resist. Shiny. Things.

...Nah not really, I was just hoping I can buy another bubblegum with it.

"Hey kid-,"
I growled at Raph despite the fact he just kicked Kitty in da face, in which said turtle just shrugs.

Snake.

"I'm covering Shredder. You take care of the rest, think you can do that?"

"..."

"What- hOLY, are you crying?!" Raph asked in bewilderment, eyes wide as saucers.

I sniffed as I wiped another tear.

"You grew up so fast.." I said, blowing my nose to my scarf as Raph just stood there, baffled.

He is one true leader. So responsible, much fabulous, maybe it is time I passed down my throne onto my beloved son- hold the phone, what are we doing again?

Oh right. Fighting. Okay. I got this.

"Knock 'im dead."

Raph looked at me sideways and grinned,
"Will do. Don't die."

A mischevious smile spreads on my face like a nuttella spread ontop of my pancakes in the morning.

"Oh trust me, this fight will be wholy unfair," I twirled Stephen in my hands as Footbots started to appear along with Kitty Wuss Puss.

"For them."

-----

Raph

This, is ridiculous.

So yeah, when I said to Ao to take care the rest, I didn't really expect... this.

I mean guys, he took down atleast hundreds of elite footbots in less than three minutes. Good grief, that kid is scary.

...And so is that frying pan.

As much as I was tempted to stay and watch the kid chasing around TigerClaw,-yes! chasing-, like a maniac with his trusty frying pan, I was kinda busy holding off Shredder. So that he can't kill us.

But damn. I really wanted to watch him.

------

Ao

Okie, so. Raph is fighting Tin Can, who is doing the whole vendetta speech again, and I am getting bored from chasing Hello Kitty.

"Aw come on! Can you do something else than running?! Like, I don't know, teleporting or something?!" I whined, pointing Stephen at Hello Kitty who is now in mid way climbing one of the tall pillars. Like what cats usually did whenever they're scared, climbing tall trees and hissing.

Well.. that's a rare sight alright..

Kitty shook his head frantically.

I pouted.

"Come one kitty! Here kitty kitty, meow. Puss puss. Come down, pwweeeaaaseee?" I begged, throwing literally anything on my reach at TigerClaw just so I can get him to climb down.

In the end, I got nothing else except to throw the remainings of the elite footbots I once fought.

"Here kitty kitty, wuss puss."
Said large cat hissed at me and I frowned.

So I threw Stephen at him.

"Bad kitty! Bad kitty! Bad!" I scolded when his large body fell down with a loud thump. Stephen rolling to my side.

..Oh shoot, the guy ain't breathin'! Mamma mia! Cazo! Puitho! I'm sorry for Italian and Sindarin speakers! I know those are bad words! Blame Ezio and Thranduil for it!

"Stephen, when I said punish him, it doesn't mean to kill him! I will get in jail for animal cruelty!"

"Uhh, kid! You're a turtle!"

"I did not ask you Hot-head!"

"Silence! You will tell-"

"Oh for the love of Valar, I am not talking to you, Cheese Grinder! Shut up! Shutetity up! Up! Shut up!" I screamed, banging my head with Stephen at each word I spoke out.

"...Does that hurt?"

"Felt like I just got hit by bus, just peachie."

Tin Can started to continue his speech and fight with Raph, leaving I bored.

"Hello? I'm still here.." I said at one point, but the two stone heads are too busy fighting at eachother.

"Childrens.." I muttered, grumpily retrieving a stick,-that came out of nowhere-, and walked to Kitty's dead body.

" 'Ello? Are you dead?" I said, poking at Kitty's fluffy arm.

Sooooo fluffy. The fluffiest thing out of all the fluffy things in fluffy land. I could literally go all Nyan Cat on him.

"Come on kitty! You are Hello Kitty! You're supposed to say 'Hello' back!"

"..."

"..Fine. Hey mister Cheese Grinder?," I turned towards the fighting jocks, one arm raised.

"Since your cat is kind of dead here, can I have his body? I want to make a free stuffed pillow. His fur is very fluffy."
Raph and Tin Can then dissappeared behind a metal door and few seconds later, a large explosion was heard.

".. sooo, did he say yes?" I asked at Raph who is jogging towards me.

He gave me a raised eyebrow.
"You wanted a pillow out of the body of your enemy. Wow. You're a lot more twisted than I thought you would be."

"Hey. It's fluffy. And free. What more can I ask?"
Raph gave me a look before moving to Mikey and Donnie's unconscious bodies.

"Hey kid?"

"Aye?"

"Could use a bit help here."

"Eeeehhhhhhhhh...........no."

"Please?"

"...nah"

"Come on."

"Nope. Nada. Nay."

"...I'll make cookies."

"Make it double chocolate."

"Okay."

"And extra chocolate chips."

"Fine."

"And-"

"Just get your shell over here!"

"Fine fine! Geez!" I raised both of my arms, walking towards him before slunging Donnie's body easily over my shoulder.

And then we walk out. Like a bOSS.

Much swag. Such wow. I'm the freaking CEO. Can't resist memes. I got 7,934 memes in my gallery, fite me.

.......Wait wait..

"I FORGOT STEPHEN."

"You what?"

"I FORGOT STEPHEN."

"Who?"

"THE FRYING PAN."

"...oh."

"OH?! JUST OH?!!! OH MY GOODNESS WE HAVE TO GET HIM BACK!"

"Kid, you're not the one who has to fight Shredder. We're having a hard time back then-"

"I DON'T CARE. MUST. GET. STEPHEN. BACK. TOP PRIORITY."

"Wait wait kID! YOU CAN'T JUST-! OKAY! Okay we'll get him back! Just get down from there! You can't just climb on an electricity pole!"

"Try me."

"Ugh."

-----

"STEPHEN DARLIN'! MUAH!" I yelled happily, craddling Stephen on my hands the like most precious thing in the whole world.

Mah bootehful son.

"Shh! Keep it down! Shredder will-"

"You can't run from me, turtles."

Raph groaned and went to fight off Tin Can again.

I felt bad for doing this to him, but right now I'm currently busy hugging and kissing Stephen that I don't care anything else in this world.

Fire is everywhere btw. Shouldn't we call the firefighters for this? And I'm suing Raph because he's the one who started the explosion.

..meh.

------

"You can not escap-"

Bang!

"..Kid."

"Yeap?"

"You can't just hit Shredder with a frying pan."

"Meh, like I care. Now come on, we gotta get outta 'ere."

"...fire is everywhere."

"So?"

"Exits are closed."

"So?"

".. We can't get out."

"..."

"..."

"..Are you afraid of heights, hot head?"

"Huh?"

-----

"TURTLE TO DA RESCUE!"

"KID, IF YOU DROP ME, I SWEAR I'M GONNA-"

"Relax! I got this, hot head!"

Current mood : swinging like Tarzan using zeppeline with Raph clinging by my shoulder. Oh, and the zeppeline is designed for one turtle only. Whoo! I'm a badass. I plugged out my USB once without pressing the 'eject' button. I'm awesome.

..We're getting off topic here.

"Anndddd fix the landing! Whoo! What a ride!" I cheered once our feet landed on the rooftop, near the place where we stuffed Don and Mikey at.

"Raph!"

"Raph! Aannnddd.. who's this?" Mikey asked, big blue eyes wide as he started to poke my scarf.

I slapped his hand away.
"The name's Ao. You must be Mikey."

He gasped.

"HE KNOWS MY NAME!! D! HE KNOWS MY NAAAAMME!!! HE'S A JEDIII!!!!!"

"I ain't! I'm Slytherin all day and night."

"..So this is your friend?" Donnie asked, raising an eyeridge at Raph who's currently rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeeah.. He's Ao, as he told you guys."

"You look awfully familiar."

OhmygoodnessfortheloveofDragoonsbeardasgskdkgskalshagahjshajshdhsafortheloveofValarafsjkahakamamdmsa-

"Well duh, I'm a turtle. You're a turtle. 'Course we looked alike!"

"..uhuh. Where did you even meet him Raph?"

"Oh, hot head lost his sai once and I found it and gave it back."

"You mean you stole it."

"Same difference." I shrugged, sticking out my tongue at Raph who is death glaring me.

"So, what happened in Shredder's lair as both Mikey and I are knocked out cold?"

"Long story short, I killed Kitty, K.O.ed the other hench-men, destroyed atleast a week worth ninja-robots, and hit Metal Man with Stephen out cold."

"What?"

"First off Ao, you ain't killing anybody. TigerClaw's just.. traumatized and passed out. And you still can't just knock Shredder out with a frying pan."

"A frying pan?"
I patted Stephen, who is now back at his place by my side.

Silence.

"..Pizza anyone?"

"Thank you Mikey, I'm starving. Let's go!"

Random. Stupid. And outmostly insane. Chapter.

Give me a break! I have atleast three hapzardous months more! I was at the brink of graduation season! Chill!

....Idk what am I doing. Don't ask why there is Deadpool. And this book just got a whole lotta insane.

Bcs guys 2.5k+ words, I'm hella insane.

And s'more hints. Go ahead, solve the puzzles.

If you can.

...Bye potatoes.