Cruel Summer // Banana Rama

I cannot believe this guy. For a minute I thought maybe he was different. Maybe he wasn't after one thing and one thing only. Maybe...just maybe I could trust him. Even with all of the pick-up lines, which I thought had finally stopped, I wasn't totally disgusted by him. Although I have no business even looking twice at any guy, let alone this one sitting across from me looking confused ten times over. I don't need any more rumors. I don't need any more whispers behind my back. It's bad enough that I don't have anyone in my corner anymore, other than my mom.

I resist the overwhelming urge to cover my face in my arms and crumple into this vinyl booth seat. I can't let Nico of the bad pickup lines see me fall. But the fact that I'm in this place once again, the place where some guy I almost trusted stabs me in the back, it's almost more than one girl can take. And I have taken it all, over and over and over. I've dragged it to this new high school hell hole without even trying and I just want to escape. To hide. To pack my shit and leave this town in my black dust and never look back. Months. I have to remember that it's down to months until I can make that dream a reality and start fresh without the trail of rumors behind me.

Instead, I sit with my arms crossed, death glare firmly in place, as I watch the guy across from me squirm. His mouth drops open and he seems to freeze in place, stunned.

"Show me yours? Why would you think that?" he asks finally, shaking his head. Nico reaches a hand up to run his fingers through his hair. "I literally just asked if you'd want a hands-on demonstration of a carburetor."

"Hands on?" I ask with an obvious inuendo in my tone because of course that's what he meant. This can't be innocent. "That's what everyone will say when it gets out that I left the burger pit to follow you home."

I can't trust this guy, no matter how honest he was about his past. That has nothing to do with being honest in the future. I've learned the hard way that a guy will say anything he needs to say to get what he wants.

"What?" He glances around after a second, looking less shocked and more stoic now. "No one will say that. No one will say anything about you being seen in public with me. If you leave, they will most likely say I scared the hell out of you and you ran home."

I shake my head and lean forward on the table, arms folded on the surface and voice low. "That's where you're wrong. Rumors about me with you beat any long-standing rumor about your psychotic personality. I'm new. My rumors just arrived. Fresh and ready to light things up."

Nico leans forward and mirrors my position. "Sounds like our rumors might just cancel each other out. I don't know the full story on yours, but what I have heard was pretty stupid. No one's going to believe them for long."

I shake my head and make a buzzer sound. "Wrong. So wrong. It's already been longer than any reasonable person would believe an insane story like the one going around with my name attached to it." There's a bitter taste in my mouth just saying these words. Suddenly I regret the greasy food paired with this conversation. My favorite go-to comfort is now tainted.

The worst thing about this whole situation is I believe him. I believe everything he's said about his past. I'm actually glad that Emily never told me the rumors about him because I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have believed most of what he's told me. What fourteen-year-old kid can take out two seniors? But listening to him, seeing the look in his eyes as he tells me, I know he's being one hundred percent truthful. It was giving me a strange feeling, one I'm not sure I liked. Closeness. This was what I was thinking when he suggested going to his place. Immediately, I knew I didn't want to be close to him.

I must be sitting silent too long for Nico's comfort because he finally leans away from me and once again rests his arms on the back of the booth seat. He's so comfortable, so confident. I'm sad to realize I envy the strength he has in his situation. I used to be that confident, but I've been wondering if my confidence was my downfall. That's what led me to get into the car with Craig. I knew what I wanted so I took it. If I'd known what was at stake, I still don't know if I would have made a different choice.

"Okay, new plan." Nico says, causing my eyes to shoot to his. I say nothing but let the silence speak for me.

"Right," he clears his throat and then crosses his arms on the table, leaning in once again. "You've got a car that needs some work. I've got the ability to work on said car. You need to study for the exam Mr. DeWitt is giving. I can feed two birds with one stone by teaching you the parts of your own engine while we tune it up."

"Feed? I thought it was kill two birds with one stone."

Nico gets a strange look on his face before shaking his head. "Who wants to kill a bird? I'd rather feed them."

"With a stone?"

"That's what got your attention?" He laughs. "What about the part where I offer to fix up your car while helping you study?" His voice is quiet, his eyes trained on mine. It feels like a challenge.

"I don't see how it's any different than the former scenario. I'm still going to your house. You're still doing me 'a favor' which means that the rumor will be I've paid you back with one of my own 'favors.' Not interested."

Nico sits back and runs his hand through his hair. Now it's sticking up in ways that twist my stomach in knots. I battle away thoughts of how adorable he looks when he's flustered.

"Shit. Isn't there a way around this? You can't stop living because anything you do will become new material for the masses. I haven't and people still believe the rumors about me."

I shrug dismissively. "I guess you must be a stronger person than I am. Thicker skin."

This causes him to shoot forward and look me in the eyes. "Bullshit. You have put my balls in a vice every single time we interact. You aren't afraid to put me in my place, so don't be afraid to do that to anyone else."

Emily's words come rushing back to me. "Never seen that guy run so fast. You have got to be the scariest girl at Jefferson." I know I have badass tendencies, hence the origination of the rumor I seem to take with me everywhere I go. But maybe Nico's right. Maybe I can step into my strength instead of hiding.

I glance out the window at my sad little baby. I worked hard to earn the money for that car. Even before my plan to leave town, I knew I wanted to earn freedom in the form of a driver's license. Back then I thought it would be for different purposes. Going out with friends on the weekends. Cruising to the beach or to the mall. By the time I actually got the money together to buy it, my freedom was gone. I had no one to do those things with anymore.

I sigh, unfortunately. I couldn't hold it in. I don't want Nico thinking that's an opening to ask me more questions, but by the look on his face I know he does.

"Will you tell me?" He has a pleading look in his eyes. "What really happened, because whatever it is, I already don't believe it. You telling me won't change that fact."

Why am I tempted? Why do I suddenly want him to know everything that happened? All I've wanted to do this entire year is to forget, to run away from all of this. But one confession from the guy with the permeant grease stains on his clothes and I want to spill it all.

I think hearing him say he believes me is what tips me over. No one but my mom has said that, and Nico doesn't really know anything about me expect my runaway mouth.

I take a deep breath, honestly in disbelief that I'm even considering opening the door to my past. "Not here." Too many eyes, too many ears. I feel watched, but maybe that's just the effect Nico has on me because his eyes rarely leave me.

He rubs his hands together. "Perfect. Let's go. Follow me."

"Stop looking so happy about this!" I whisper shout to him, not wanting more attention than necessary. "And I have to go to work soon." Soon is a relative term. I have a couple of hours but Nico doesn't need to know this.

"Fine, all the more reason to get going. I'm ten minutes away." He grabs his drink and pulls a set of keys out of his pocket. I wait a second before following him out the door. I don't want people to assume we are leaving together. Nico ruins that by looking back over his shoulder to make sure I'm coming.

By the time I'm standing at the door to my 'Stang, he's smirking again.

"Wipe that off of your face. You have no chill."

He shrugs, "Never said I did." Then he hops into his truck and starts it up. He catches my eye and notches his head in a 'hurry up and get going' gesture. I comply by getting in my car without any other reaction to his antics.

I just hope this isn't a huge mistake.

When I start up my car and pull out of the lot to follow this guy, I cringe. My car is not stealth. It's loud and obnoxious and honestly kind of an environmental hazard. There is no sneaking off in this thing and by following Nico home in it I basically just announced to the entire street what I'm up to.

But maybe he's right. I shouldn't care what people say because I know the truth. Nico knows the truth, too.

On the other hand, Craig knew the absolute truth and decided to rewrite history and twist it into something that doesn't even resemble the truth to soothe his own ego.

Yeah, this might be a huge mistake. It will probably just end up giving me one more reason to split town the second I'm eighteen.

So...Nico, am I right?!? You have no idea what's coming and I CANT WAIT!!! But on a real level, today has been NUTS. Not only what's going on in society with all of the politics (I'm ready for this to be over) but work was non stop and I forgot to post my Lunchtime Friday Feel Fest...better late than never I guess!!

Timeline wise, April is about to tell her secrets which occurred the previous summer, hence the song. I intended all of that to happen here but the chapter got supersized so now you'll get the deets next time 😉❤️❤️ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!

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