In Your Eyes // Peter Gabriel

I remember the first time I drove myself to Nico's house. I was forced to let him teach me about engines. I drove my beat up 'Stang right down his driveway and into his garage where he drooled over the thing and only gave me a sideways glance once or twice. I was...uncomfortable. The newness of it, the fact that I didn't really know him, and I was in his domain.

But now I do know him. And I'm driving the physical embodiment of his soul, turning into his driveway as the sun is just setting. I take a deep breath to calm the nerves. Nerves that have been nonstop out of control since the last school bell rang and Danny told me to go to Nico's at six. I've been pacing, sweating and freaking out over every possibility for hours.

It's all coming down to this moment. I realized in my stress pacing that this moment could slip away. I could lose what I didn't even know I needed so fiercely. I need Nico. With everything that I am, every angry, dark, bitter part mixed with all of the bright joy I've only felt when I look into his eyes.

I ease the car around the edge of his house into the open back drive where he keeps his truck and Challenger parked. The first thing my eyes grab on to is Nico leaning against the garage door. Waiting. Arms crossed, knee bent, eyes on me. Focused and intense, a side of Nico I've seen, but never to this degree.

I swallow, my throat thick with emotion, and park his car. I will away the shaking in my hands, the tremble of my legs, and force strength in my movements. I've got this. I can do this. I've been through tougher confrontations than this and come out the victor.

Is that what this is, a confrontation? I ask myself while already knowing the answer. No. Last night when I slammed the door in his face...that was the confrontation. This is the resolution, but it feels like the edge of a knife to my gut. And I'm scared.

"On the dot," he says, face somber. He's not giving me even the slightest hint at his mindset.

I shrug, stepping closer and handing him the keys. "Thanks." The tremble is back, and I bite my lip to try to steady my hand as I drop the keys into his. I can tell he notices when he looks back up at me.

"Done with her already?"

"Well, it was just a lend, right? Or are you still unavailable? You were off the grid today." I cringe inwardly at my desperate tone. I want to know where he was. I want answers and this terrible tension to end. But I realize I'm still holding on to anger from that look in his eyes, that momentary doubt. It hurt more than I want to admit.

Nico takes a deep breath and steps closer. "I'm sorry, April. I should never have taken off yesterday like I did, without a word to you. It's just that I didn't trust myself, so I had to go."

The prickle of emotion starts just behind my eyes and I close them to keep the tears from building. Mistake. I can tell the second I open my eyes the tears will fall in sheets. I sense Nico move even closer to me and steal a breath when I feel his hand cup my jaw.

"Tell me," he whispers. "Say it, whatever you need to say."

I shake my head. Where do I even start?

"Ok," he says, "I'll go first." His hand slides from my jaw to my neck, across my shoulder and down my arm. Then his fingers slip between mine and pull me close. "I couldn't think straight when I saw those pictures. Matt even thinking he had the right to look at you that way, let alone touch you, had me in a violent place. I knew he'd done something at the Lot. I walked in on it. But baby, when I realized how he had treated you, and that I wasn't there to stop him earlier... I lost it."

But, the doubt in your eyes. That's the first thought I have, and I realize I have to voice it.

My eyes are still closed as I allow the words to leave my lips. "You thought I wanted it." I haven't said this, not even to Ko. The pain that is linked to these words causes my knees to nearly buckle. "I saw it in your eyes. You believed the rumors. It was just a second, but that was enough." It kills me to say it, but I have to tell him that I know.

Nico freezes. "What?" His words are just a breath, but they hit me full force.

I open my eyes and let the tears fall. Pouring out of me. Nico's hands find my face, lifting my gaze to his.

"Not even close, April. No. Never." He sounds so sincere, but I know what I saw.

"You found the pictures right before he approached and saw the look on my face." My voice shakes as I remember that tortured moment. "You realized I didn't want him touching me, but at first you weren't sure. You can't lie to me about that."

His touch doesn't waver, doesn't retreat. In fact, it feels like Nico holds me closer, the heat from his lips invading mine.

"Baby, what you saw...it wasn't that." He leans in, his forehead resting against mine. "You are so fucking strong, my goddess of sunshine. I didn't believe Matt could rattle you, put you on edge. You held yourself with power up against him. I never, not for a second, had a thought that the rumors were true. Only that his slime didn't faze you. I looked closer, I focused on every shot for the evidence that I didn't need to kill him for touching you. If you were good, unaffected by him, I could let him breathe. But then I saw it," his voice cracks at the admission, "the smallest change. You went from carefree and open to completely shuttered. I saw the shield lower over your eyes. I could tell you locked yourself up in anticipation. I saw the fucking pain in your entire body."

I go still. Listening and hoping. Could I have been wrong? That momentary doubt that was crushing my heart might have been something entirely different? I wish for him to say more, silently begging for reassurance that he's never put me in that category.

"What you saw, baby, was self-loathing. I should have been by your side. I should have stopped him before he even started. I should have known you'd need someone in your corner to keep your heart from breaking."

The sob I'd been holding back finally breaks free. It's not one or the other who moves first, but both of us at the same time. My arms are around him and his around me in a desperate effort to get closer. I can't pull him close enough. I can't speak through the sobbing but with his arms around me, I don't need to. He's got me.

He's always had me.

"I'm sorry," I cry. "I'm so sorry. I thought...I thought..." I can't say anymore. I press my face into his neck and just hold on.

"No. Baby, I'm sorry. I will never leave like that again. I will never walk away without you being okay first. I should never have gone to find him when you were so upset. You needed me more."

This emotion is different. I've been angry, crushed, bitter for so long...to have him hold me like this, say these words of reassurance...

But then his lips find mine. His touch so healing. His movements so gentle. The cracks in my heart fuse together. This wasn't a stupid fight. This wasn't even a misunderstanding. This was my greatest fear being wiped away by the guy who holds my heart. And he's here to stay.

The tentative joining of our lips becomes more desperate, greedy. Our heads tilt, bringing the contact between us closer. I part my lips and Nico accepts the invitation. There is no teasing this time, no spark of amusement. Our kisses have never been like this. It's only been a day since we've kissed but my heart tells me it's been a lifetime. My hands are in his hair, squeaky clean for once, and the quiet part of my mind finally registers how not greasy he is at this time of night.

Reluctantly, I pull away, my curiosity too big to ignore.

"Did you get all cleaned up for me?" Our noses are touching, and Nico's rapid breathing hits my face. He's nearly out of breath. I realize I am too.

He leans in to kiss me again, nodding. I let him take us back to that place. I feel the shift between us. Where all of the kisses we've shared before pale in comparison to this one. This time, we are more together than we are apart. This time, we are stronger than before.

It's Nico who pulls away this time. I feel like we need some space before things get carried away. Our first time will not be because we've had a fight. Not gonna happen.

"There's something I want to show you." He steps away then pulls me to stand in front of the garage. "Stay here." He leaves me in the middle of the driveway and walks to the garage door. When Nico leans down to grab the handle and lift, his shirt rides up and gives a hint of his abs. I bite my lip. He really is irresistible and I'm glad I have no more reasons to resist him. They've all faded away, the last little hesitation melting with his kiss.

I'm still looking at Nico with thoughts of his arms around me and lips on mine when he laughs.

"Okay, horny eyes. Save that for later. Maybe take a look into the garage?"

I blush and blink. Then I follow his orders and gaze into the garage. When the sight before me registers, I gasp and cover my mouth. Tears spring once again, cascading down my already streaked cheeks.

"Nico..." I breath his name. My baby, my 'Stang, is parked in his garage. High gloss black exterior with chrome shined to perfection has my attention first. I step closer, Nico grabs my hand and leads me inside to get a better look. I can only shake my head, my free hand sill covering my mouth. As I stand next to the driver's side door, Nico pulls it open but says nothing.

The pink accents catch my eye. Just a subtle touch on the edges of the seat and along the panels on the dash and doors, but it's special. This car is me. It's like he looked into my head, my heart, and found who I am at my very core and turned it into a car.

"I thought it wouldn't be done until next week." I run my hand along the edge of the leather. Nico turns me and has me sit in the driver's seat.

"Change of plans. I didn't know how things were going to be resolved between us after last night, so I wanted to make sure you had your wheels as soon as I could." He closes the door and walks around to the passenger side. As soon as he's seated with the door closed, he leans a little closer, lifts my wrist and drops the keys into my open palm. "Let's go for a drive."

I don't know why I'm suddenly nervous, but I am. "Where should we go?" My voice doesn't give my nerves away, somehow holding steady.

Nico just smirks at me. "I want to see exactly what I saw that very first day. Take me to the burger joint so I can watch you barrel into the parking lot just like you did then, only this time with a classic beauty that matches yours. I could see it that day, April, when you got out of the car looking like every dream I'd ever had walking toward me in the flesh. Your car caught my eye, but you stole my heart."

I'm out of breath again, looking into his eyes. I see a thousand places we can go. I see the answers to all the questions I've ever had about who I am. In his eyes, I see the truth.

"There's something I have to give you, first." I tell him. Nico just smiles and nods, not having a clue how important, how vital what I'm about to give him is. I don't even know that I'll be able to fully explain the shift that's happened. It doesn't matter. The truth will remain true whether he understands it or not.

"A present?" He winks at me. "Aw but I didn't get you anything, baby."

I glare at the term he so loves to taunt me with. But secretly I love hearing him use it again. "Bitch, you kind of got me a car. And no, it's not a present. But it's still in your car so I have to grab it. Hang on."

I jump out and rush over to his Challenger, grabbing my bag from the passenger seat. When I turn back to my car, my heart and stomach both react to the view. I cannot believe what Nico has done for me. All of it, not just my car. He stepped up in ways no one, not even my mom, has stepped up for me. I've totally made the right decision.

By the time I get back into the car, Nico has made himself comfortable. Jacket off, he's casually reclined in a dark blue button up paired with jeans that fit his thighs just right. He's as dressed up as I've ever seen, and my eyes drink it in.

"What've you got? Is it just the way you're undressing me with your eyes, or something else?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me and I blush, again. Caught lookin'

I just shrug. "Listen, grease boy, your eyes had me naked before I even set foot on the driveway tonight. Did it light your fire to see me behind the wheel of your classic?"

The heat in Nico's eyes goes nuclear. "Abso-fucking-lutely. Hottest thing I've ever laid eyes on." The look on his face doesn't lie. No shame whatsoever, I fan myself from the heat radiating off of him.

"Well, let's make this quick because we have a burger joint to drive to." I reach into my bag and pull out my eighteen-month calendar, setting it on his lap. He looks down as I open it up. When I flip to the month I turn eighteen, I sit back and wait.

Nico is confused, based on his furrowed brow and twisted mouth. "Um, yeah. Blank calendar. That's cool, thanks?"

Without a word I point to the date I'd had circled for months. The date I had planned to pack up and ditch this place, consequences be damned. I had been so set on that decision I never questioned it, never spoke about it, and never planned to look back. But little by little, Nico chipped away at that desire to run. And yesterday, he demolished it altogether. I wasn't alone anymore, and I would never be alone again.

"My birthday. Just thought you'd want to have that date memorized for future reference." I smirk, but Nico just nods before looking over at me.

"Good to know. A boyfriend should have that kind of information." He leans closer, bringing his lips to press against mine. "I can't wait for more reasons to celebrate you."

I close my eyes. "Nico. There's more." He pulls back but I won't allow it. I wrap my hand around his neck and guide him back to his rightful place. "Before you, that date meant freedom. It meant leaving. It meant starting over and never looking back."

I feel him tense. His hands, which had been resting on my waist, now come to wrap around my back in a possessive hold.

"And after me?" He whispers the words.

"After you...well, it just means I'm that much closer to being yours completely. Forever."

His head rests against mine. I feel the tension leave as he releases a breath. "April..." His lips are on mine, tender and true. "I love you."

The damn breaks. I pull him close and kiss him soundly. "I love you, Nico."

Such simple words that hold so much power. Strength. Promise. Truth. Healing.

"This is the best moment of my life, baby." Nico punctuates each word with a kiss. I nod each time he does. "But you know what would make it even better?" His voice takes on that deep, smokey bedroom sound that raises my blood pressure when it's coming from him.

"What?" I can barely get the word to come out.

He gives me a quick peck then shoves the key into the ignition.

"A burger." He winks, wiggles his eyebrows and puts on his seatbelt.

I shake my head and start the car. Then I close my eyes in ecstasy at the purr of the motor. "Oh my god, that is so sexy."

Nico coughs. "Um, April, my mom's inside. Take me to that burger place before I lose my sanity and christen this car with you. Not really wanting her to witness that."

That sobers me right up and I put the car in drive. "Maybe next time, then." I tease.

"Holy shit. Just get me a burger, April. I'm a man holding on by a thread."

"Burger it is." Next time, indeed.

My babies!!! Ok true story, I cannot believe I've never, not for one single story, used In Your Eyes on a playlist. THE ULTIMATE LOVE SONG!! And if you've never seen the movie Say Anything, why the heck not!! Gah the angst in that movie...the boom box scene is everything!

Anyway, I've got a few more chapters to go with this one, maybe 3 plus the epilogue(s). Then I'm planning to start Matt's story (yes that Matt - read More Than This, if you haven't yet, to find out why) and most likely Grinder's story from inevitable! I haven't done two at the same time in a while but both of them are calling to me so I'm gonna give it a try!

PLUS PUBLISHING NEWS!! catrinaburgess and I are publishing our New Adult dark bully romance, Broken Lullaby!! Cover reveal below⬇️. More news to come soon!!

And have a listen to In Your Eyes! 💕💕

https://youtu.be/kU8OJAOMbPg

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