Cruel Summer // Ace of Base

I feel all of the blood drain from my face and flow directly to my stomach at the tone in Nico's voice. It's possessive, laced with an acidic layer I didn't realize he was capable of. But the worst part...the edge that has me sick to my stomach...

The distrust I hear in those three words just might kill me.

"What the fuck?"

I hear the question for what it is, and what he doesn't want to admit. Of course, he's pissed at Matt for touching me. He's furious at the way this self-proclaimed king of the school feels he can take anything he wants. But I also hear his doubt. He's wondering if I was okay with Matt leaning in, getting close. He's questioning the rumors and wondering about the grain of truth that seems to lie at the bottom of each one.

I close my eyes at the memory. Nico showed up only a minute after the act of solicitation Matt tried to make. He had seen Matt's hand on my arm, but not what had transpired just before that touch. I was bouncing to the music, Ko at my side taking in the scene. My eyes searched for Emily while putting the distance between Nico and myself that I thought we needed. I felt his eyes before his presence. I knew I was being watched so when the heat of his breath hit my neck I sucked in my own and froze, the smile never leaving my face in an effort to mask the truth of the intrusion I knew was coming. Matt's lips were at my ear, whispering things he was ready to do to me at any asking price, making my stomach turn in disgust, my heart race in fear.

Then, as though I had agreed, his lips traveled to my neck, his hand on my arm attempting to pull me or drag me to a location of his choosing in order to make good on his offer. I mentally kicked my own ass for being at his mercy and straightened my spine. "Never fucking again," I whispered. Then turned my steel gaze and hardened heart toward him. I used the strongest voice I could muster and told him to get his hands off of me. Matt didn't react, as though my words were meaningless. Our stare-off continued until Nico was suddenly right there.

Nico never saw any of what had come before, and it had taken every ounce of strength I had to keep my face from showing my gut reaction. I knew he would make a scene, which of course he did by confronting Matt and then claiming me himself with that kiss. I was avoiding a bigger show, knowing Nico's reputation. Everyone would have taken sides, and it wouldn't have been Nico's. Too many testosterone laden jocks were present to have a fight break out. So, I made my choice and I hid the truth. Nico believed Matt was just making a move, not stripping me of all of my dignity. But what we hide in darkness always comes out in the light.

This light is blinding.

My hand is still on his shoulder as he's looking at those pictures, scrolling back further, which is why I feel him tense up when he notices my face the split second before Matt's approach. Nico is observant. He always has been, so he sees the almost imperceptible change in me from one frame to the next. He sucks in a breath and holds it while he toggles back and forth between two shots, taken a split second apart.

I feel the change. He releases the breath in a whoosh and turns his head to me, our eyes catching. There's an apology in the eyes that stuck me silent the first time I ever looked into them. The apology is what breaks my heart.

Crushed.

Utterly crushed that even for a fraction of time he wondered. He doubted. He questioned.

Sick to my stomach, I take a step back. There will be no tears from me. I will not cry over this because I should have expected it, but Nico convinced me we had something stronger than rumors. In that fraction, that split second of doubt, he wiped that reality back into the dream it was.

"April," he says, reaching for me. But the words die on his tongue because he understands what he's just done. He shakes his head, carelessly handing Ko her phone then stepping in my direction.

I cross my arms. I need my armor, I'm not as protected as I have been, so I use my stupid arms to block the hurt out, to hold myself up.

He reaches where I stand. His hands lift to my shoulders and his head leans in to touch my forehead. "No. I know what you're thinking. That's not what was happening, April."

April. Not baby. I hold back the hysterical laughter because when did I start liking that stupid nickname? But now that he's not using it, I realize I did, I do.

"For a second, it was. A second too long, Nico."

Nico. Not bitch. That's where this has taken us.

"I'm going to kick his ass, April. This is on him, not you. Not us."

"That doesn't change how he sees me. How his whole crew sees me. It will just reinforce their views and make you an enemy." I shrug, knowing I have no fight here. Nico will do what he wants, regardless of what I say about it. I don't think he could walk away knowing what Matt already tried to do.

Stupid heart, I try again anyway. "No one has said anything to me since. Not one guy has even given me a second glance since you showed up with me. Let it go."

But do I want him to let it go? Haven't I wanted someone in my corner, to fight for me?

"What did he say to you, April? Tell me." His forehead is still pressed against mine.

I close my eyes and shake my head. He's not getting any more fuel from me. I open my eyes to see Nico clenching his fists, grinding his teeth, seething.

"You don't have to state the obvious. Your silence is enough. I know what he said." He takes a step back from me, observing me in a way only Nico can. He nods once then turns to walk away from me.

"Angel, Danny!" He calls to two guys leaning against a low rider car. "I need back up." Wordlessly, both guys follow Nico. I watch, the pit in my soul just getting deeper, as they stalk back to the main quad.

"You going?" Emily asks, regret in her voice.

"No. I don't need to see this."

"Hey, I had no idea that's what was going down. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

I shrug. The apology is a bit late to do any good at this point. Damage done.

"Those rumors are bullshit. Everyone knows it. Matt just likes to have control over everyone so he uses whatever he can to get it." Emily has walked over to stand in front of me.

"I felt a shift today. Something's different." The Lot was over a week ago so I can't believe the change in the atmosphere has to do with that, but I can't be too sure about anything anymore.

"I noticed it too," Emily says while scanning the lunch crew out back. "I can't put my finger on it."

"Might have something to do with this." Sabrina holds out her phone, open to a social media app. Someone posted a video of text scrolling across the screen. Each word insinuates there's a girl at Jefferson who's open for business. Bargain prices. The last part is a "three-star review" of services rendered.

The pit in my stomach is now a canyon. No longer am I just a funny joke that the rest of the school is telling. I'm a pariah. "Yeah, that would explain it." No one wants to acknowledge my existence. It's not the first time either.

Since no one seems to know what to say or do about this new dilemma and Nico's disappearance, we stay silent. Soon enough the end of lunch arrives, and Ko and I make our way to class. No sign of Nico or word about what went down, which is strange in itself. What high school confrontation goes without word spreading like wildfire?

My heart continues to race and the canyon in my stomach never shrinks. This is purgatory and I just want to leave. We are on our way to shop, the last period of the day, and I'm contemplating just walking home. I don't know if I can handle seeing Nico in class, yet. I don't want to know what he did, or what he thinks of me now.

Turns out, that decision is made for me.

"Ms. Reed," The tone of authority behind me has my toes curling. Any other day, the sound of my name on the principal's lips wouldn't rattle me. I can hold my own. But today, right now, I can barely hold it together. I turn around to see her disapproving glare.

"My office." Her demand is followed up with the pursing of her lips. Dr. Connors is letting her perfectly pulled together demeanor slip just slightly as she storms past me, an unspoken command to follow her. "Ko, you may continue on to class."

Ko gives me a timid smile and a nod before walking away. I wordlessly follow the principal to the next level of hell. What a one eighty from this morning when Nico pulled away from my house, his arm around me. Then I felt secure. Now I feel completely and utterly alone.

In ten steps we make it to Dr. Connors office. She shuts the door as I take a seat before she rounds her desk to take hers.

"We are not in the habit of having to shut down fights between two halves of the school over one particular girl. This will not become the norm."

The question on my lips never forms because I don't want to give anything away, but I am dying to know what happened now that I have this little kernel of information. Instead, I shake my head at her accusation.

"Are you blaming me for whatever it is those guys did?"

Dr. Conners cocks her head to the side, her perfect French tipped nails clicking together for a heartbeat of time.

"I must admit, I was concerned this would become the new place for your...escapades. So I wasn't caught by surprise when a few students came to report that a fight was about to occur and that you were the reason. They also suggested I investigate your latest business dealings."

I nod. Of course, I am to blame. She still believes whatever she's heard. In a split second, I make a decision. I return to my goals, my original plan. But maybe waiting months until I am of legal age to take off on my own is too much to ask anymore. If I really am going to leave, it needs to be sooner than later. I can't go through this again.

"Dr. Connors, I am not the girl you've decided I am. Believing the rumors started by a rejected and spiteful guy from my past is what stupid high school students do. Letting it fester and bleed into every single fucking area of my life is what bored, rich, pampered kids do. Dragging it all over town, chaining it to the person in question, and never giving me the chance to live beyond the whispered lies is what every pathetic teenager in this place has done. For months. No one questioned it. No one looked at me to see who I really am. No one stood up to tell the truth. That says so much less about me than it does about the people who perpetuate the rumors and believe the lies."

The accusation is clear. I'm lumping Dr. Connors in with everyone else. Even Nico, who questioned me for that one breath. It was enough.

I don't wait for her to respond. I just gather my things and stand. It's as I'm turning to leave that her words keep me in place.

"And yet you've made one believer. Mr. Evans was ready to risk his freedom for your honor."

"What?"

"You will have to ask him about that, since I don't want to perpetuate any rumors." She takes a breath, but I don't turn back to face her. When my hand wraps around the doorknob, she speaks again.

"Although you were not involved in the fray, I would normally be obligated to suspend you for the last period. It really is just an effort to keep any more threats from popping up."

"And did the offending students receive the same punishment?"

"I am not at liberty to say. However, I am not saying that I'm planning on enforcing that suspension." Dr. Connor takes a deep breath. "I owe you an apology, Ms. Reed, and I can see I've gone about this terribly."

I'm frozen in place at the door, still unable to make eye-contact with Dr. Connor. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, not truly trusting whatever it is she has to say.

"Can I make my own confession, Ms. Reed?" I hear the scrape of her chair as she pushes back from her desk then the click of her heals as she walks around to where I stand. I chance a look out of the corner of my eye and see something other than disgust on her face.

"I think all of us are capable of making assumptions. I took you on with my own, for that I apologize. I won't make that mistake again."

"Why are you telling me this? I thought you wanted to suspend me?"

Dr. Connor shakes her head. "I think I have failed to explain myself fully. What I meant to say is that suspensions in light of this type of unrest are expected. However, your innocence was clearly defended, and the rumors have been addressed. There is no longer a need for any suspensions in this case."

I blow out a breath and stand up straight, making the decision to leave without asking any more questions. I don't understand what's going on but I don't think Dr. Connor is going to give me any more details. Maybe I can talk to Nico about it after all. Maybe I'll be able to look him in the eye after whatever he did to defend me. Even though for one second, he broke my heart.

I turn the knob to Dr. Connor's office door, open it with conviction to stand tall no matter what, and walk to shop. The bell is long past so there aren't any students loitering around to gawk at me. I enter shop and look for Ko and Nico, but am only met with Ko's big, watery eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asks tentatively.

"Yeah, fine." I glance around again. "Where's Nico?" I'm still not sure I'll be able to talk to him right now but once I see him, the decision will come.

"Oh, Nico is not here. He left."

Left? Okay, not what I expected. The lump in my throat and pit in my stomach are back. I feel abandoned all over again. Why would he just leave without saying anything?

"How the hell are we getting home?" I mumble the words. As I say them, I realize the shit storm caused by this whole situation. My ride, my mechanic, my friend, my heart...all just got crushed away.

Ok this one got dark. I have to admit, I just hard core binged the Ravenhood Duet (Flock and Exodus) then The Finish Line all by Kate Stewart (not on Wattpad) but holy heck those were dark but so freaking good!! If you've read them, hit me up in DM cause I'm going through withdrawl and might just write a Sean fanfic. But I also realized that it influenced April's voice here...much less light humor but at the same time this chapter needed that gut punch. So, good timing I guess?

I'm very much not happy about the ending here, but its where these guys took me. Next chapter will be from Nico's POV and that cameo some of you have been waiting for with Brax will finally happen! I promise to lighten things up.

I'm using Ace of Base's cover of Cruel Summer (originally by Bananarama and I used that when April confessed about her rumor situation to Nico) because I felt like this was the mirror image of that confession. This chapter is when her past caught up to her present in an ugly way. So...this song.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]