*Lilly's pov*

We were here for a month and a half. A few weeks after the incident. Everyone's been ignoring me.

Deon brings me my food and water. If they saw me, they would walk the other way.

It made me feel bad. I feel bad about everything. "Whatcha thinking about?" Deon asked. "Wouldn't you already know? You're just asking to seem nice."

He sighed. "Fine, it's not your fault." He said. "But everyone acts like it is." I said. I looked at him. "Why can't I be normal?" I asked.

I was about to get into something deep. "What do you mean? You're perfect in all ways."

"No. Listen, I'm going to tell you my deepest secrets. And understand that if you even think about telling anyone, your dead." He nodded.

"I have the urge to kill. Not just like... Oh, I have to kill this person. It's, there's a person. I need to kill them. I need to hurt someone. Even if it is myself. And that leads me to my biggest secret."

I paused. I looked Deon straight into the eyes. I lifted my shirt to show my scar. He looked.

"This, I did myself. I was on punishment and I couldn't kill for two months. So I did this. And... That now prevents me from... Having kids..."

I looked down. I didn't want to see the look in his face. I also put my shirt down.

"Lilly. Look at me." He demanded. "No." I said. "Lilly, look. At me." I slowly looked at him.

"Don't hate me. I'm sorry." I said. "It's okay." He said. "No. It's not." I disagreed. "Okay, I'm a little sad, but I only need you. Not a family." He said.

"But I do. I feel like I can't be happy when you're not happy. And you want a family. I can't give you that and it's all my fault."

I stood and put my hands on my face. I was crying. I pulled my hands back. I collapsed on the ground.

Deon was by my side in a second. I couldn't stop crying now. I couldn't give him a child and it's all my fault.

I was silent crying. But the tears wouldn't stop streaming. Deon was just rubbing his hand on my back.

"It's okay. Really. I don't need kids to be happy. I have you." He soothed. I looked up at him. I stopped crying.

My moment of weakness. "But it's all my fault." I repeated. "No, it's not. They changed you in to this and you didn't agree to it."

Deon put his arms out for a hug. I sat up and buried my head in his chest. I put my arms around him and he wrapped his arms around me.

His rubbed my back while I sat in his lap. "Deon?" I asked. "Hmm?" He replied. "Do you still love me?"

He looked down at me. "That's a stupid question. I will always love you. No matter what."

*****************

We replaced the living room floor with an exercising room. I was down there everyday. Never when anyone else is, but I'm down there.

Today is different. Queen is in there. I stood in the doorway until she noticed. She noticed.

She gasped and stepped back into the corner. I walked over to her. "I'm not going to hurt you." I promised.

She relaxed a little. "Hey, it wasn't me the other week. I don't what it was, but it wasn't me."

She nodded. We spared together. She was horrible. "Up. Keep up." I pulled her fists to her face.

She nodded, then put her hands down. So I punched her in the face. "Hands up."

She didn't put her hands down again. We practiced until she couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm done. I'll get on the treadmill and watch the news." She said. I walked over to the punching bag.

She put on the news. It was talking about some missing people. I tuned in to what they were saying.

"Three weeks ago two men, three woman and five kids all went missing on the same day. There hadn't been any clue to where they went, who took them, or if their still alive. Here's a mother to one of the children."

"Maya is a good kid. We were at the store. I let her push the cart. I turned around for one second to grab something, when I turned around, she was gone."

"All the evidence we have is a blurred picture of this teen carrying this child. Please, if you recognise this girl, report to the local police."

I tuned his out as he kept talking about the different people missing. My punches got harder and faster.

My bag broke. I sighed. I turned to leave but queen was standing in front of me.

"It was you. You kidnapped them and killed them. You don't remember... But it was you, wasn't it?" She asked.

"It probably was me. Yeah, I don't remember it, but it probably was me." I agreed.

I left the room and to mine. I walked in and Deon wasn't in here. I walked to the bathroom and got ready to take a shower.

'Where are you?'

'I'm in the kitchen talking the plan with the guys, why? Where are you?'

'Oh, I was just wondering. And I'm in the bathroom ready to take a shower.'

All of a sudden the door was open with Deon taking his clothes off. I smirked and turned on the water.

"I never said you could join." I teased. "Come on, do you really want me to leave?" He asked.

He walked over to me and took off my shirt and pants. I took off the rest and didn't face him, I stepped into the shower.

He joined a couple seconds later. "Stop, I'm sweaty. I just trained." I said. "Well you're going to be sweaty anyway, after I'm don't with you." He looked me up and down.

I bit my lip and thought of a plan. "Okay, if you want to play it rough." I said. He cocked his eyebrow.

*****
I didn't feel comfortable publishing this so here's what happened.

She played him
*****

I pulled back and stepped out of the shower, got a towel and dried off. I saw Deon glare at me and put the shower on cold.

I smirked. "Oh, I'll get revenge. Remember that." He said. I laughed. "Sure you will." I said and left to put on my clothes. Sure he will.

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I love you all so keep flying my little birds!

-Black&Blue