"Hang up! It's okay; just hang up, Lillie..."

Lillie, her eyes wide with concern, reluctantly obeyed her brother's command.

Selene was staring at Gladion in shock. Hau was trying desperately to calm him down.

"I know it was hard to talk to your mom again, wasn't it? But you don't have to forgive her...I bet if you asked, Lillie would make sure you never had to do this again..." Hau murmured into the blonde's ear. "I'll take care of you."

"No," Gladion said in a choked voice, shaking his head rapidly. "No. You shouldn't have to."

"It's not about me having to take care of you," Hau shot back sternly. "It's about me wanting to take care of you."

"Is there something here I don't know about?" Selene muttered while watching them cluelessly.

"Nothing important," Hau replied, waving her off. Gladion narrowed his eyes at her, but he knew he couldn't look intimidating when he was this vulnerable.

He wasn't used to being like this in front of people.

He'd hoped he'd never have to.

"What's bothering you?" Then, correcting himself, Hau said, "I mean, that's obvious, but what exactly?"

Gladion pressed his eyes together as tightly as he could manage, hoping foolishly that he'd never have to open them again.

Even then, his mother's image danced and flashed behind his eyelids.

And with that image came the traumatic memories.

No matter how hard he tried to push them down and forget them, to convince himself he was far past those times, they always came back to him, haunting him like they would never go away.

"I thought I'd finally—I thought I'd..." Gladion sniffed, forcing acid back down his throat. "I haven't seen her face in so long, and I thought—I hoped..."

"You'd never have to see her again?" Selene guessed, sympathy shimmering in her eyes.

Hau held his distressed friend closer, and when said friend looked up, he was thoroughly disbelieving and displeased when he saw Hau himself was close to tears.

The eleven-year-old boy braved a stoic expression, seeming to sense that if he started crying it would only make things worse. "Have you ever talked to Lillie about this?"

"What good would it do? She knows how much it hurts me to even try to accept Lusamine back into my life, and she still thinks seeing and talking to her is healthy, I just—I can't. I can't do this."

Gladion's friends' voices were all background noise compared to the aggressive pounding of his heart, which seemed like it was about to burst and spurt blood all over his insides.

He scarcely registered Hau burying his nose in his blonde hair and thought, distantly, that he was never this open to human contact unless it was with his sister.

But now was an exception in all things.

"I bet Lillie doesn't know how much this hurts you if she still insists on you repairing—or somewhat repairing, at least—your relationship with your mother."

That was Selene, wasn't it?

Her hand was on his shoulder.

He smacked it away.

He didn't feel safe being touched by anyone except Hau.

He felt like if anyone else touched him, he would blow up in their face and shatter, falling to pieces at their feet.

Gladion still refused to open his eyes.

"Why is he letting you touch him and not me? Last time I checked, he liked you even less than me."

Selene.

"Aw, come on. He always loved me."

And that was definitely Hau.

There was a brief silence, of which Gladion assumed constituted his two friends waiting for him to argue that fact.

But he didn't have the energy.

After all, Hau was probably right.

He wondered for less than a second how that boy could possibly be joking around during a situation like this before realizing warily that Hau's voice was lacking quite a bit of its usual vigor and happy-go-lucky lightness.

He didn't want to be the source of that.

"You guys don't need to stay here. You should...probably go. I'll be fine. I don't care if you leave."

Damn it, he didn't mean a word of that, did he?

"I know you don't mean any of that, Gladion, and we're not going anywhere."

Well.

For the first time ever, he was grateful Hau could see through him.

He wasn't going to admit it, but he wasn't going to fight it either.

"Gladion, talk to us."

"How am I supposed to—how can I—I had friends once, Hau, and she took them away. How am I going to accept her back into my life? She ruined everything. She ruined me."

Gladion couldn't tell if he'd said that out loud or not, because the ringing in his ears was far too loud for him to think, and he remembered.

It was her.

Of course it was.

Because they weren't beautiful enough for her, was that it?

They weren't rich enough, weren't smart enough, weren't obedient enough.

They weren't enough.

Just like Gladion wasn't ever enough.

"I don't want you ending up like them, Gladion. You can become someone amazing. You can make me proud. But those children...they can't. So please stop crying. Mother is here now. They can't do anything for you. Stop crying, Gladion. Stop crying. Stop crying now!"

No.

"You don't need them, see? You don't need anyone else besides your mother and Lillie. Stop crying. ...There you are, Gladion. My perfect, beautiful son...Don't ever do that to me again, okay? You made me worried..."

No, stop.

He didn't want to remember.

"What are you doing? Why won't you listen to me?! This isn't my son! You aren't my son! Why are you crying again?! They're worthless! They mean nothing! Listen to me!"

Was Hau speaking?

Or was that Selene?

Or was it nobody at all?

"Why can't you just do what I say? Why can't you ever listen? It was just a nightmare—I took them away from you years ago, and you're still not—you're still not over it! One dream is all it takes to doubt your mother? Is that how this works? That isn't how this is supposed to work! That isn't how it's supposed to be! Stop crying, stop screaming, go back to sleep! Go back to sleep! You'll wake up your sister, go back to sleep!"

He hated her voice. Her voice was like a loud screeching that just wouldn't stop. It wracked its way through your ears and your brain and your heart and it killed you, or you wished it would.

He'd made a mistake, hadn't he?

He should never have gotten attached, but it was too late now.

If something happened, he would break again.

It was too late.

Why couldn't hearts have off switches, like lights?

Why couldn't he just put himself in the dark forever?

"What are these? What are these, Gladion?! You know people can't see this! These ugly marks on your arms...What did you do to yourself, you wretch? People will think you're disgusting! What did you even do this with? Why would you do this? You know doing this disappoints Mother...and you can't say this was me! This wasn't me! This was you! Don't speak! Shut up! Gladion, be quiet!"

He'd managed to push these down into the dark, murky depths of his mind for the longest time.

But just seeing her face again, just hearing her voice again, destroyed him.

He'd fought back these flashbacks before, but only because it was for the good of Alola.

Now, he was only fighting for himself.

And that wasn't a battle worth winning.

"I love you."

Two people saying the exact same thing, their voices overlapping, completely different tones and implications...

Her, saying it as a threat, indirectly warning him if he did anything else, she wouldn't.

Him, saying it like he meant it, like he always would, like...

Wait, him?

Gladion's eyes shot open. Selene was staring at him and Hau in absolute shock.

"I don't mean romantically or platonically...it doesn't matter. All those things that happened with your mother will never happen again. I love you."

What did love mean?

Love meant pain.

Love meant hiding your feelings to make the other person proud.

Love meant intimidation.

But that wasn't really what love meant.

Not when she wasn't the one giving it and begging to receive it.

When he was giving it and begging to receive it, love meant something different.

Love meant salvation.

Love meant liberation.

Love meant security.

Meeting Hau's eyes and not knowing of what kind of love he was speaking, Gladion rasped:

"I love you too."

And everything disappeared before his eyes like a pencil drawing being erased, or a white page being painted black.