When developing my Fred and George fanfic, I knew that I couldn't just make them continually ridiculous. Are sarcasm and humor always on their minds? This is Fred and George we're talking about here. But, I always knew it was crucial to consider the atmosphere of the scene before having my characters make light of things, even if it's not an outright joke. In the Muggle world, we call it comedic timing.

Casting Aspersions

HARRY: Thanks for letting me come up.

ALBUS turns, he nods at his dad. He's being cautious too.

No luck, as yet, with the Time-Turner searching. They're negotiating with the Merpeople to dredge the lake.

He sits down uncomfortably.

This is a nice room.

ALBUS: Green is a soothing color, isn't it? I mean Gryffindor rooms are all well and good but the trouble with red is - it is said to send you a little mad - not that I'm casting aspersions...

We hear you, Albus. This is totally the sort of conversation a fourteen-year-old would have with their dad. Eh... That was sarcasm, WattPotters, in case you happened to overlook it. Thanks, Cursed Trio! For most of the play, I was wondering what was missing. It was color psychology! Oh, and it came at the perfect time. I mean, does it make sense for a moment of awkwardness to precede a parental discussion on a child's failings? Yes. But this doesn't work. Because it's dumb.

How's that for professional criticism?

Ron's Comic Timing

DRACO: So - we just wait? Until Voldemort turns up?

ALBUS: Does she know when he does turn up? Hasn't she come here twenty-four hours early because she isn't sure when he'll arrive and in what direction? The history books - correct me if I'm wrong, Scorpius - show nothing about when and how he arrived in Godric's Hollow?

SCORPIUS and HERMIONE: You're not wrong.

RON: Blimey! There are two of them!

DRACO: So how can we use this to our advantage?

I get the joke the writers are going for here. But the timing is off. This is during Act Four after a Hogwarts student has been found murdered, when they have traveled to the past and are huddled in a church in Godric's Hollow, expecting the Dark Lord to appear at any minute. Maybe not the best moment for Ron to be so... ugh... It pulls us completely out of the scene and could have been done at a less crucial point in the narrative. And, as an aside, Jack Thorne has reached a point where he's done showing us how Scorpius is similar to Hermione. Now he's just telling us!

Farmer's Markets and Ponytails

In Act Four, the parents are readying themselves to travel back in time. They head to their destination, Godric's Hollow. This should be a somber moment. They are traveling to the past to rescue their children and stop Delphi from changing the future (which doesn't make sense, but I'll get to that soon). And although Draco is no Arthur Weasley, he makes a comment that... just...

Read it for yourselves.

HERMIONE: Godric's Hollow. It must be twenty years...

GINNY: Is it just me or are there more Muggles about...

HERMIONE: It's become quite popular as a weekend break.

DRACO: I can see why - look at the thatched roofs. And is that a farmers' market?

Draco mentions a farmers' market. Is it humorous? Sure, I guess. It just has no place in this scene. We've reached the climax of the story. Tensions should be running high. And while it's not wrong to have a joke to ease those tensions, the move here is awkward coming from Draco, based on his character development up to this point. Regardless, it's completely undercut by Ron two lines later.

HERMIONE: You remember when we were last here? This feels just like old times.

RON: Old times with a few unwelcome ponytails added to the mix.

DRACO knows a barb when he hears one.

DRACO: Can I just say -

RON: Malfoy, you may be all chummy chummy with Harry, and you may have produced a relatively nice child, but you've said some very unfair things to and about my wife...

HERMIONE: And your wife doesn't need you fighting her battles for her.

HERMIONE looks witheringly at RON. RON takes the hit.

RON: Fine. But if you say one thing about her or me...

DRACO: You'll do what, Weasley?

HERMIONE: He'll hug you. Because we're all on the same team, aren't we, Ron?

RON (hesitating in the face of her unwavering gaze): Fine. I, um, I think you've got really nice hair. Draco.

WHY???? WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT DRACO'S HAIR?? AND HUGS??? REALLY, HERMIONE? This is so flipping awkward! Grow the hell up, #NotOurRon. But wait, their little snark rivalry continues!

DRACO: And then what? When she's with you. May I remind you this is a very powerful witch.

RON: Easy. He gets her in here. We zap her together.

DRACO: "Zap her"?

HERMIONE looks around the room.

HERMIONE: We'll hide behind these doors. If you can get her to this point, Harry (she indicates the point where the light from the rose window hits the floor), then we come out and make sure she has no chance to escape.

RON (with a look to DRACO): And then we'll zap her.

Just checking... Are these adults we're dealing with here? You'll zap her? Is that what you'll be doing, Ronald? No... please, continue. Don't let me get in your way!!

DELPHI: Just let me - see him.

HARRY: I can't and I won't.

DELPHI (truly pitiful): Then kill me.

HARRY thinks a moment.

HARRY: I can't do that either.

ALBUS: What? Dad? She's dangerous.

HARRY: No, Albus...

ALBUS: But she's a murderer - I've seen her murder -

HARRY turns and looks at his son and then at GINNY.

HARRY: Yes. Albus, she's a murderer, and we're not.

HERMIONE: We have to be better than them.

RON: Yeah, it's annoying but it's what we learnt.

It's annoying, but it's what we learnt????? Annoying that we can't just kill someone? WHAT AM I READING??? Forget #NotOurRon. This is #NotAnyone. That line is so poorly timed, and so stupid. How could the actor deliver such dialogue without choking on a bout of laugh-crying? I'd be laugh-crying too, but it's not funny. It's pathetic. How could anyone read that line and not immediately reach for a red pen?!

(*Albus Potter slides up next to me*)

("You know, I hear the color red can send you a little mad.")

(Oh, it's the color, is it? Get out, Albus. No one wants to discuss Color Theory with you, right now.)

("Green, on the other hand, is quite soothing.")

(*breathing heavily from my nose*)

(Your timing still sucks, bro. Can you leave, please? Go find someone else to pester. I hear the forbidden forest is great this time of year. Don't worry about the Centaurs. In fact, they like it when you try and climb onto their backs. Go order them to take you for a ride or something, kay? Bye, now. Bye, Albus! Bye forever!!)