𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓
i want to feel safe. im tired of nightmares

STILES AND CLARY sat in Clary's bedroom at the Institute, sitting across from each other on the bed. They were just studying each other with their eyes, not knowing what to say, both fiddling with their hands and chewing on their lips.

Stiles pulled up his long sleeve and stared down at the star-shaped birthmark as if it was going to give him all the answers he needs.

"Stiles, I—" Clary started, her voice cracking slightly and she cleared her throat softly. "I didn't know. If I knew—" she shook her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear when it got in her face. "My mother — our mother, I guess... she removed many memories from my brain. Like the fact I saw her kill a monster when I was like ten. She even erased the fact that I had met Magnus. It's just—" she sighed heavily and wiped away a fallen tear. "It's been such a crazy week for me and now I just... I don't know what's real anymore."

Stiles closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose, thinking over how the last two years of his life has been chaotic, and it's only getting crazier. "Clary, this..." he shook his head and grumbled in agitation, running a hand through his fluffy brown hair roughly. "I don't even know what to say anymore. I thought coming here was going to get my mind off of everything bad in my life, but it just keeps getting worse. It's like the universe is getting back at me for something I did. It's just so—" he held out his hands in fists and growled. "I went from once hectic life to another and now I feel like I have no one."

Clary scooted closer to him, tears skidding down her porcelain cheeks. "Stiles..."

"You don't understand, Clary!" He jumped up off of the bed and began to pace back and forth as Clary watched him with wide eyes. "You remember that night I texted you about two years ago; how Scott and I went into the woods to look for a dead body and Scott got bit by a dog? Well, it wasn't a dog. It was a freakin werewolf. A werewolf! And you know what's crazier than that, the fact that him being bitten by a werewolf — because of me! — that we ended up where we are now. We have lost so many people and some of them are my fault! And now I no longer have a father — that I just found out wasn't really even my dad — no friends, and no pack! I have no one!"

"You have me!" She jumped up and grabbed his hands that he had been clenching so tightly that his nails dug into the palm of his hands and could've drawn blood if he continued. "You have Simon, you have Luke. And not only that, but you also have Izzy, Alec, and even Jace." Although Stiles was still panicking, he had scoffed at the mention of Jace. "And although we don't know what you have been through, we are here for you."

Stiles pulled away from her, aggressively wiping away his tears. "And I once had a whole group to be there me but look what happened!" He shouted and intensity regretted in when more tears sprung from her hazel-green eyes. "I was possessed, Clary. By what is called a Nogitsune, it was a thousand year old demon who took over my body when I was vulnerable and hurt a lot of people, and killed a lot more. He... it had killed one of my friends and my... the pack blamed it all on me even though I was technically separated from him at the time." He ran a hand down his face, sniffing. "It doesn't make sense to me though. I was separated from him, but yet, I still have memories from him. Like, how he watches as his Oni's hurt my friends, how he terrified and threatened Lydia, and how he saw me hold a sword that I was very close to killing myself with."

Clary sucked in a breath and he looked away from her.

"It's so hard to live with all of that on my conscious. All of the time. You don't understand, Clary. You've been a part of this world for a week, but it has taken over my life for the past two and a half years." He tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but found it difficult. "It's really hard to move on from these things when it's all I know at this point."

Clary slowly walked towards him and pulled him into a hug. His back to her chest. She laid her left cheek on his back and inhaled deeply upon hearing and feeling the thumping of his erratic heartbeat. "I can't tell you that I know how it feels to be possessed and hurt those close to you. But, I know what it's like to lose a parent and feel like your life is falling apart. All I can say at this point, is that we're in this together. You and I. We were always family and will always be. We're brother and sister now, and that means we have to stick with one another. Even if it's tough, even if we feel like killing one another some times, at least we know that we will always have each other's backs. Through thick and thin, right?"

Stiles couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face. "Right." He turned around in her embrace and held out his pinky. "Promise me that we will always be there for one another. No matter what."

She grinned. "I promise."

Their pinky's connected and they smiled at one another, tears shining brightly in their eyes.