Crying in the middle of the day isn't okay.
Watching the world move right in front of my eyes while I'm struggling to breathe is not okay.
Not being able to find one thing that makes me smile today is not okay. Missing you is not okay...
I am often caught by this blustering sadness at 1 a.m. when all I want is to text you,

but I'm not used to crying for you at
1 pm, that is not okay!
I am trying so hard to be strong,
but every day I struggle just to give another breath.
Every passing hour is one step
closer to the end,
every day is just another day without you.
The pain no longer hurts,
the dark no longer comforts me,
the songs that used to help me get through everything no longer shut down the loud noise inside my head. Without you, I am not the same...
Maybe this will pass, and maybe just maybe I will remember you as my past. You will no longer be a part of my present or future but you will forever be in the memories left behind to remind me of the person that I used to be but no longer am.
Maybe one day I will be okay with all of this, but not right now,
because right here right now,
you are still my today...