I reluctantly went over to Frazer's house the next morning, though it took me a few goes to leave the front door. I almost turned around in my driveway too, but Frazer raced out, grabbed my hand, and all but dragged me in, apparently having spotted me pacing outside as he waited for me to text back.

When I entered the house, his mum was in the middle of washing dishes and briefly greeted me like it was any normal visit. But as Frazer started to lead me away from her, she pulled the plug and turned on us. "Let's make this quick, okay? Frazer, go to your room."

"I'd rather stay," Frazer replied, gripping onto my hand tightly.

Her eyes narrowed. "Did you not forget our deal?"

"You can talk to her. Just not alone."

"Frazer... you will not have my permission to go on this trip if you don't leave."

He glanced at me then at his mum then back to me.

My eyes widened as I saw his resolve caving.

Don't you dare, I pleaded with all my might.

Yet his grip of my hand loosened. Then he let go, mouthing, 'Sorry' as he retreated down the hall.

Traitor, I glared his way before pivoting towards his mum, eyes wide like a kangaroo caught in headlights.

"Take a seat, Emilia," she instructed, waving towards the couch.

"My dad already had a talk with me about this trip."

The corners of her mouth turned upwards before she said, "I'm not trying to give you the talk, Emilia. I told Frazer that yesterday. That's the job of your parent."

"Then..."

She gestured to the couch again. "You and my son have been dating for quite a while now."

"Yes," I replied, reluctantly sitting down.

"Things are getting serious."

If it's not the talk... then is this leading in the opposite direction? Is she going to ask me to... leave him?

"But school is almost over too. And your lives are about to go in very separate directions."

My head turned down as I started to realise this was going exactly where I was dreading.

"This is a pivotal point for you two. This is also the last memory he will have with his friends."

"And you'd rather I not taint that?"

"... I just want to know if you're really in this with him."

"I'm not sure what you mean?"

"I know he worries a lot that you're going to leave him because he is not as present. You two seem to disagree a lot lately. If things are heading where I think they are—"

"Not for me... if things are going to end, then it's going to be Frazer leaving me for someone."

Her face softened.

"I really like him. I don't intend to leave him. And yes, things are getting serious with us the longer we stay together and yes I feel like our relationship is being tested a lot lately. But I don't think every girl has to experience this kind of test. Not only are we moving into lots of long-distance, not only are we keeping us a secret, but he's also got a lot of eyes on him now. However, I don't see any of that making me want to leave him. Not now, not ever. It's just... an adjustment for the both of us. It would take him letting me go for me to walk away from this."

She waited a few moments after my rant before saying, "I'm glad to hear that. I'm really glad too that you came into his life. I know that you pushed him to talk to me about his father. And that you helped him find his passion. I'm so grateful about how happy you've made my son these past few months. I just... had to make sure you're as serious about him as he seems to be about you before you both take any further steps that could make this harder."

"I am," I insisted, my heart leaping with joy to hear that his mum seemed to think Frazer was feeling just as intensely about me as I did him.

"Now... as for the other matter of this camping trip, I want to assure you that I've given Frazer stern warnings about consent, about condom use, about ensuring a woman's pleasure, and—"

"Whoa... you said we weren't doing the talk."

"Oh, dear... I'm not telling you what to do. You'd be much smarter than my boy, and I'm sure your dad has covered everything else already. I'm just assuring you I've done my best to educate my son. Though if he is anything but a gentleman to you on this trip or pushes you into anything, feel free to come to me and I'll ensure there are consequences for him."

◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷

We took two cars: Kevin's and Frazer's. While we were able to fit most of the group into Kevin's car...

"I'm sorry to be a third wheel," Caleb apologised as we stopped to pick him up.

"Don't be," I replied. "It's not like this is a date anyway. Just a drive."

"Yeah, but I could have fit in Kevin's car if we put all the luggage in here. Then you two would have some alone time."

"That wouldn't be practical," Frazer said this time. "Imagine if my car broke down on the way and all the luggage was with me."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Besides, of everyone, I'm happy it's you riding with us."

"Aww shucks. Thanks, Em."

We shared a moment of tender smiles before Frazer interrupted the moment with, "Now... it's time for some tunes." With that, he cranked the music and took off from Caleb's house.

The drive, in the end, went without a hitch. We listened to the radio until we lost connection in the mountains—though Frazer tried to change to a CD when Wanted to Say came on, not that I let him—then we switched to whatever discs were laying around in the car after it cut out.

When we pulled up at the Paluma Camping Grounds, Kevin and the rest were nowhere in sight. After Caleb rang one of the other guys, we learned Kevin had gotten pulled over for a breath test on his route and then blew a tyre, but they were on the way again.

So we took it upon ourselves to select a spot and start setting up.

We chose a place by the edge of the grounds, with Frazer and I setting up our tent at the furthermost point. The goal was to create a circle of our tents so that no one could really sight us from a distance, in the hopes for some privacy in case there were any Apollo fans. Though, to our luck, there were surprisingly few other campers around.

We had finished setting up two tents when Kevin and the rest finally pulled in. After a play-by-play of their adventure, the rest got to work setting up their spots while Frazer grabbed our luggage from Kevin's boot.

Frazer took great delight in throwing our bags into our tent, waggling his eyebrows at me as he did so and rousing a few giggles from me.

"Ugh, you two are becoming really sickening, you know," Kevin commented.

"Stop being jealous," Frazer tutted.

"Not until you two let me join your relationship. I want me some Frazer or Em."

My movements while unpacking the car halted as I glanced around at Kevin to see if he was for real. Though his shit-eating grin was hard to decipher for one of jest or one of intrigue.

"You're really pushing it, mate," Frazer replied, then wound an arm around me and pulled me in close.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding," Kevin replied, though then he winked at me.

◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷

The campfire crackled and sputtered flames as another log was thrown in. All the while, as I stared at the glowing embers, a yawn tore through my body and I leaned into Frazer.

"Ready for bed?" he asked, head resting atop mine.

"I think so. I'll just go shower first, though."

I disentangled myself from his hold, all the while he asked, "Want me to come?"

My brows went up as I said nothing in response.

"I mean... walk you over."

"Sure... that's what he means," Kevin snickered.

"Would you seriously shut up for once in your life?" Frazer snapped at his mate.

"I'll be right," I cut the pair off before they got into another spat. "I can find my way."

"All right," he replied, yet yanked me back into him, planting a kiss on my mouth in front of everyone. "Don't take too long."

Heat stole my face as I could feel all eyes on us. So I mumbled back, "I won't," and took off as fast as I could.

I slowed in pace as I started wandering past the other campers, yet it was when I had made it halfway to the public bathrooms that I realised, in all my haste, I had forgotten my towel and toiletries.

I halted for a moment as the mortification swept through me, then, begrudgingly, pivoted on my foot and headed back to the campsite, ready to complete my walk of shame past everyone to the tent to grab my things.

The breeze was chilly up in the mountains, even if summer was well on its way. I glanced frequently at the ground as I walked, not trusting my shaky legs to keep me steady as twigs crunched underfoot.

Stupid Em. Always getting too caught up on him to think, I lectured myself.

Though as I neared the campsite, the conversation caught my ears first, bringing my pace to barely a shuffle when Kevin said, "You need to tell her."

"I will," Frazer grumbled back.

Her? Me? Or his mum?

"Like... as soon as possible," Kevin went on.

"I will," Frazer insisted again. "When... it's right."

Caleb spoke next. "I can't believe you even let her come along without saying it, though."

It's me then.

"Right?" Kevin replied. "The nerve this guy has... You really should tell her tonight. Before you share a tent."

Tell me what?

"How about you just butt out of it?"

"No, we won't," Caleb then said. "We're Em's friends too, and she has a right to know."

Know what?

"And she will know. But tonight's not right," Frazer said.

"When will be right?" Kevin retorted. "When you're running off on tour? That would be a pathetic time to tell her."

He's going on tour? I knew he had a gig during graduation, but... is that what he has to tell me?

"Especially when you've known this long," Caleb added.

He's known about the tour this long?

"I hear your concerns, but... things have been a little rocky lately. I don't want to hit her with that right now."

"Isn't now the best time?"

"... and if it upsets her? How will the rest of the camping trip go?"

My mind was a whirlpool of doubts, as all sorts of scenarios started to manifest. Is it just that he's going on tour? No... Kevin said he'd be telling me this thing on tour. What could be so bad that Kevin and Caleb felt the need to push Frazer on it?

I shook my head, deciding whatever it was, I wasn't ready to overhear it yet.

My heart was beating almost out of my chest.

My eyes slightly stinging at the possibilities of pain.

So I took a few quiet steps back before making a show of stepping on twigs to alert them of my presence.

At once, the conversation came to a halt.

Frazer's eyes met mine, full of fear.

Kevin and Caleb seemed curious too, glancing between the pair of us as their eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"You're back already," Frazer stated the obvious.

"I forgot my towel and stuff," I mumbled back, hating that everyone was looking at me. Moreover, hating the pity etched on their faces... like they knew the big secret.

What if it's even worse than what I'm dreading?

What if it's my deepest fear?

My chest felt tight again.

I pushed past everyone towards the tent, hating that I could hear him following me.

Please don't ask, I couldn't help thinking as I dug around for my toiletries.

"Did you make it all the way to the bathroom when you forgot?" he pried, as if trying to determine whether I heard.

"Yeah," I replied as my hand collided with my things. "Silly right?"

His face was consumed with doubt as I straightened and met his gaze. Like he could hear the lie.

Yet he didn't press me.

Because we both knew, whatever it was, he didn't want to say it.

"I'll be back," I said for the both of us, then pushed past him without another word exchanged before he could see the tears streaming down my face.

◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷

Sleep took hours to overcome me that night. When I returned to the campsite, Frazer wasn't there. The others informed me he had gone for his shower too.

So I crawled into our tent and curled up into a ball, facing away from his side.

When I heard the door unzip, I could hear his pause before he quietly put his things down and climbed in with me.

I expected tonight to go differently. That the reason we'd be up all night was for much... steamier exchanges. Yet when he laid down, he didn't pull me close. He didn't even reach for me or confirm whether I was asleep.

He merely rolled to his side, facing away from me, and went to sleep.

My chest throbbed as I longed for the time when I was ignorant to the cloud that hovered over us—when his unsaid proclamation wasn't consuming the both of us.

But now it was all I could focus on.

My mind stewed endlessly about the possibilities—barely any of them positive. Though there was one fear I couldn't shake. The one that seemed to fit this whole narrative from his friends, from his mum...

That I was in the way of something.

That I'd only continue to get in the way.

That eventually he would need to leave, and I'd only hold back his potential. So the only way out of it all was acknowledging our inevitable end: that we'd have to say goodbye.

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