
Rewind to Rise to Stardom: Part 1
A warmth clung to that morning August air as I climbed into his car, and he sat staring at his phone, still and almost lifeless.
"Morning," I tried when he didn't acknowledge my presence.
But he said nothing.
"Frazer?" I asked next and leaned over to see what had him so perturbed.
As my eyes washed over his screen, he finally whispered, "I've been shortlisted."
His head slowly turned upwards, and a grin stole my face. "That's amazing! I knew you could do it," I exclaimed, throwing my arms around him.
One of his arms weakly went around me, but his body trembled. "They are announcing it tomorrow. They will play my song on the radio tomorrow."
"That's great news," I pulled back, my smile waning. "Are you okay?"
His mouth opened and closed several times until finally, "I don't know. What do I do?"
"Nothing. You've done all you can. You just have to wait until the winner is announced next. Although... if you want to get the attention going, you could release another song?"
"Release another?"
"Yeah. Maybe we could record 'Wanted to Say' with the guys at school?" I already had my personal acoustic recording, of course, though the song worked much better with a band. "Then shoot a music video or something. It will be a little dodgy compared to professional recordings and videos, but... I'm not too bad with a camera or editing software."
"But Em... I've been shortlisted."
I laughed, unable to determine how else to react anymore to his flabbergasted state. "I told you that you're amazing. Everyone is seeing it because you've taken the courage to show them."
He was quiet for several moments, and a part of me started to worry that perhaps I had made a grave error in encouraging him to enter the competition. That maybe this pressure and this attention in fact wasn't something he could handle... despite how natural he seemed on stage during Battle of the Bands. But then he said, "I'm so grateful to have you."
The corners of my mouth turned upwards and the nerves fled my body. "Why so suddenly?" It didn't seem like an expected response in this scenario.
"Because you've always believed in me. It's so nice to have someone believe in me, undoubtedly, unwaveringly."
"I'll always believe in you, Fraze."
◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷
The shock eventually fled his body by the time we arrived at school, replaced instead by a pep to his step and a smugness—which he deserved to feel. We both knew of the announcement to come (though were keeping it a secret until the shortlist was officially announced tomorrow), all the while everyone else was unaware of the emerging celebrity in their midst.
Though as he wound his arm around me that morning—as he had done almost every morning since we started dating—I felt a little... off. The usual stares seemed more apparent, even though there were less than when he performed during Battle of the Bands several weeks ago.
The whispers I used to drown out roared across the grounds, demanding me to hear them.
"I still can't believe he's with her."
"She's so ugly. He can do way better."
"Why doesn't she just jump off a cliff and get out of our way already? Gosh, what I'd do to get him to notice me... I'd make a much better muse."
"They don't match at all. He's drop-dead gorgeous, with star potential and she looks like she could be his manager. Or distant relative."
"If he ever wants to actually make something of himself, she's only going to hold him back. A taken male singer is not desirable."
Frazer strutted, unaware of the gossip pulling me under. And while I wanted to lean into him in my moment of weakness and request comfort, I didn't want to dampen the light filling him in his moment of success.
Which was why it wasn't until second break, when we stole a moment to ourselves for once in the music block, that I managed to force out, "Can you delete all pictures of us from your social media before the announcement tomorrow?"
He stopped strumming the guitar, head snapping up as he stared at me like he was sure he heard me wrong. "Why?"
"It's not good for your image," I replied, all but repeating the words of others I've been hearing for weeks.
"What image?"
"The one you're soon to have once they announce the shortlist. People all around Australia will head to your Insta to sus out who you are. And if they see you have a girlfriend... the marketability decreases."
"I don't give a shit about my marketability. I don't want to hide your existence."
"Fraze... It's just for a while. To help your chances. When you release 'Wanted to Say', girls should be able to hope that you're singing it to them, not know that you wrote it for a specific girl."
"But I did write it for a specific girl."
I was talking in circles at this point, and his stubborn self wasn't going to budge on this angle. So next I tried, "I don't think I'm ready for the attention either."
"What do you mean?"
"People will wonder who I am. They will comment on your pictures... probably say mean things about me, and—"
"Then I'll report and delete their comments. You shouldn't listen to the opinion of people you don't know anyw—"
"And the gossip at school will get even worse too. I can't deal with more."
"What gossip?"
"Don't pretend you haven't heard it."
He was silent for a moment, and I hoped that he really had been oblivious. That it was all in my head and so minor that only I noticed it. That there weren't girls pining for my man and trying to lure him away from me with their whispered hate and flirtatious actions. Though, to my despair, he said, "They don't know you like I do. If they did, they wouldn't—"
"They still would. Because I'm everyone's envy. I have the most gorgeous and successful guy at school as my boyfriend and they want to see me fall so they can take my place. Imagine all the girls in Australia knowing I exist."
"Firstly, not one of them was interested in me all this time until they knew I could sing, so I don't think my appearance has anything to do with it. Secondly, it won't be all of Australia. Not that many teens listen to Triple—"
"You could end up going further than Triple J though, Fraze. You might get played on other stations. You might go viral. You might go international. You don't know what is to come, and I just... I want to protect myself from further harm while ensuring you're set up for success."
"Being with me has caused you harm?"
"Nothing I haven't been able to deal with so far. Though this is how much I can handle."
"... Okay. Say I delete all the pictures of us and be quiet about your existence. People at school know we are dating. They will gossip or share our relationship online, probably take pictures for proof. What do you suggest we—"
"That's why we will have to stop acting like a couple at school too. Make people think we've broken up and are just... good friends."
"No."
"Frazer."
"I didn't spend months chasing you, working so hard to get you to like me back, and finally getting you, only to spend a few weeks together?"
"We will still be together... just behind closed doors."
"I don't want to."
"Even if I do?"
"Your concerns are absurd, Em."
"You think I'm imagining my feelings? Don't gaslight me, Frazer. I'm well aware of the scorn I currently receive and how much more I will get. Everyone will want you, so they will say and do anything to put me down so that I get out of their way. Our relationship will be dissected by anyone and everyone. But if they don't know our relationship exists, then—"
"Then to hell with having fans or having a bigger audience. Your opinion of me is all that matters, and being with you is all that matters."
"It's not forever... Just while we determine what all of this will do to you. Whether being single improves sales, whether people mind the thought of you actually writing songs for someone in particular, while we figure out your image... and while I adjust to how it changes us."
His lips were pursed as he said nothing in response for a while. Then, finally, "If my career as a musician is going to harm you or us then I won't do it."
My eyes slowly closed and I took a deep breath as I tried to calm myself. Though, in the end, I couldn't help but snap, "Why are you always so stubborn about this?"
"I could say the same to you."
"Is it really that bad that I'm asking you to protect me in your rise to stardom?"
"And I can if I give up—"
"You don't need to throw away your dreams for me, Frazer!"
"But you're saying it's either throw you away or—"
"I'm not saying we need to break up! I just don't want to be under scrutiny by the fans who don't know me or us! I need time!"
"And what about me? They will scrutinise me."
"They will love you more. Your music is going to touch so many hearts, Frazer. You need to share it."
"And it's not worth it if you and I—"
I shook my head. "I think you and I just need some time to think about this."
"What does that—"
But I had already grabbed my bag and got to my feet.
"Em, where are you—"
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? How do you plan to get home?"
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