Houses of the Holy // Led Zeppelin

"You're broodier than usual," Zack says. He squints at me while pinching two fingers over his forehead. "And that wrinkle between your eyebrows has gotten deeper."

"Mmm." It's all I've got. Because he's right. I'm brooding. It's been 24 hours since Colleen hopped on a plane and flew away from me without a word. I texted her to call me when she's ready, that I'd give her the space she's clearly asking for. But I don't like it. I'm twitchy. I'm worried. It's all I can do to not pace all over this fucking tour bus. If I thought things would be fine here, I'd hop a plane myself and go directly to her door on my fucking knees and beg her to hear me out.

I'm desperate.

I can't wait any more. I'm calling her.

But first I need privacy. I stand up, not even getting two steps away and Zack is calling me out.

"Not yet. She probably hasn't even had a chance to unpack. Bide your time, my man." He swivels back and forth in the lounge chair he's been in since we got onboard an hour after landing from Vegas.

"What makes you think I'm calling Colleen?"

He stops swiveling, tilts his head and shoots me a look.

"You trying to tell me you aren't slightly obsessed about the woman?"

"You're one to talk. I remember distinctly how unhinged you were when Brianna's house got broken into."

"That's not even remotely the same. She had a literal stalker in her house."

I lean down so my face is level with his. "And what do you think this Rosshole is, huh? A playdate? He's got an agenda." One that makes my stomach burn.

"And what about Colleen?" he asks with narrowed eyes.

I tense my jaw, keeping my words tight and my volume fixed. "What about her?"

"What is she to you? What's your agenda?"

I open my mouth to answer when I realize we've never gone public about our relationship. Zack knows because its fucking obvious what Colleen is to me. But I've kept her close enough, hidden, that his questions comes off as a challenge.

"I don't have an agenda."

He scoffs. "Could have fooled me."

"Don't hold back on my account." I shake my head. He's goading me, I realize. But I'm also weak enough to take the bait. I can't stop myself. "My only goal is to keep her safe."

"Safe. And kept."

"What?"

"You're no better than Ross. He wants her for himself, right?" His look is pointed. And I'm getting the point.

"I wasn't 'keeping' her. Not like that. We didn't want Katie to know about it yet, but I was ready to tell her. I was going to tell everyone."

"And, yet, you didn't."

"It wasn't intentional. Curt pulled his bullshit with Jacob and Char. That required all my focus. I was consumed with the hearing and keeping Char safe and getting Jacob out here. It's been a fucking circus." I turn away from him, running a hand through my hair in a futile attempt to calm down.

"Colleen deserves to take top billing in your life, alongside Katie."

"I know!" I can't calm down. I'm pissed. At everyone. And I can admit to myself, in this weak moment, I'm including Colleen in the 'everyone' category. She took off without talking to me, without giving me a chance. That fucking hurt. I want her to take top billing. But fuck if I know how to do it.

"Then make it happen. Trust me it isn't hard." Zack laughs, catching me off guard with how sincere it sounds.

"Are you laughing at me?" I twist around to get a better look at him.

He shakes his head. "No. But I heard Jacob's voice in my head after I assured you it wasn't hard. That's what she said."

I hear it, too, now that Zack says it. Jacob's inner voice breaks the tension in the space. I roll my shoulders before speaking again.

"She's important. Colleen takes up all the best roles in my life. I'm not trying to shut her out or 'keep' her, but I know too much about this guy. He sets off alarm bells in my head. I don't want him anywhere near Colleen." I'm able to speak calmly, finally.

Zack crosses his arms, taking in my words silently for a beat. Then he nods. "Understood. I'm sure you have intel that I don't have. And I do remember what a piece of shit Ross was in high school, how I knew that Colleen needed to get away from him."

I roll my eyes. "I know all about your crush on her. I've seen the prom pictures of you two, remember." Not that I'm jealous. Colleen never really saw him as anything but a friend and now he's fully head-over-heels for Brianna.

He takes a deep breath. "That wasn't the crush talking. And to be completely honest, I didn't have a real crush on her. I liked her. I was friends with her. And yeah, I would have dated her if she'd been open to it. I realize now it wouldn't have gone anywhere because our chemistry was more brother/sister than boyfriend/girlfriend. But I asked her to prom because I knew if I didn't, Ross would get to her somehow. He'd wear her down and she'd relent. It's what I worried about when I started planning on moving away from Silver Valley."

I sit back down as Zack unloads the new information.

"But thankfully, Colleen went off to college. She steered clear of Ross, and me, until she graduated. Now she's here and he's-"

"Driving to L.A." Zack has the good sense to look shocked. "I can tell you his plans do not include sightseeing once he gets to Hollywood." I haven't even told Colleen the extent of information my surveillance has yielded. Another reason I need to call her.

To warn her.

Fuck. Why didn't I tell her when she was standing in front of me? I should have. She'd be keeping her eye out for the prick if she knew it was a possibility.

"I have to tell her."

"She doesn't know?" Zack sits up straighter, his feet pressing into the floor.

"No. Now let me go so I can."

I turn without another word and head to the back of the bus where the bunks are. It's the best I can do under the circumstances. My phone rings in my hand before I can even attempt to call her. Instantly I'm on alert, hoping its finally Colleen. But one glance at the caller ID and I deflate.

"What." I growl into the phone at my brother, the intrusive caller.

"Woah. Someone forgot to take his meds."

"Fuck you."

"Seriously, what the hell? I call with an update, as demanded by you, and I'm hit with your asshole side?" Frank sounds uncharacteristically unglued.

Grunting my regret, I squeeze my eyes shut to gain some semblance of control. "Sorry. You caught me at a bad time. What's the update?"

"He's gone quiet again. No movement, holed up in some motel outside of town."

"Her town?"

"Tinsel town, yes. I had a buddy check in with the hotel manager. We'll be informed if he checks out."

That's not enough. Not nearly enough. If I were at home, I'd make contact. He doesn't know me so I might get away with it.

But I'm not home. I'm on this tour for another week. My skin is crawling with the need to check on Colleen. Call her.

"I've got to go. Check in tomorrow."

"Only if you promise to be nice when I do." Frank teases, another uncharacteristic response. I hear his girlfriend, Misty, yell in the background, "Who's being mean to you?"

"Clinton." Frank answers her then whispers into the phone. "Look out next time you visit. She might have your head."

I'd laugh but nothing sounds funny to me right now. I'm at the point where the only relief I'll get from this lump in my chest is talking to Colleen.

"Bye, Frank. Get Misty some ice cream and tell her it's from me."

"It won't work, but I will. Talk to you tomorrow."

Hanging up with Frank, I swipe back to my contacts and hit Colleen's, praying to God that she answers the phone. I know she's not happy with me and at this point I wouldn't be surprised if she sends me straight to voicemail.

Does anyone even check voicemail anymore, other than us dinosaurs who actually return phone calls?

Miraculously, Colleen answers it, although she waited until the fourth ring, making me sweat it out until the last second.

"Yes?"

I'm tongue tied at her tone of voice. She sounds dismissive, cold and impersonal. I get it. She's still pissed I went behind her back about Ross.

"Hey, I guess you got home okay." It's a statement not a question, because clearly, she did.

"Yes."

"Nothing was out of sorts at your place?"

Silence. She doesn't answer right away but even in her silence I can sense frustration. I picture the glare she's got on her face right now.

"Nope." She pops the 'p' and I wince, mostly due to the anger rolling off her and over the phone at me.

I take a deep breath and go for it. "Listen, I talked to Frank."

"Of course, you did."

I ignore the tone of sarcasm in her voice and plow ahead. "He said the movement pattern Ross is following will lead him right to Hollywood." I hesitate to tell her how close the guy is to her proximity. I'm not sure if it'll be a tipping point for her to shut me down completely and I don't want to fing out.

"Movement pattern? Is that 'cop' for route?" She scoffs. "Just say that."

Shit, this is harder than I expected.

"I guess you could call it that. Anyway, I wanted to warn you, so you'd keep your eyes open."

"Just because he's moving this direction doesn't mean he's coming to see me."

"I disagree. He's coming to the same city his ex is known to live? Who does that?"

"When the ex lives in Hollywood, I think lots of people. It's called being a tourist."

I refrain from answering her immediately. This conversation is going in circles, right down the drain. I need to regroup and start over.

"I'm glad you got home safe, and I'm sorry you felt you had to leave the way you did." I stop talking and wait, giving Colleen her own chance to regroup.

"I don't like this, Clinton. I don't like being in the dark. I don't like feeling watched. I don't like how suspicious you've been. I don't like it."

I squint and rub my forehead, a futile attempt to erase the tension this call is laced with, bleeding right into my entire being.

"I don't like it, either. Believe me, I really don't. I wish I could relax, not worry about everyone all the time. But that's who I am, Colleen. Frank tracked him right outside of town. He's close. So, I worry. And then I act. He hasn't made contact yet, but I bet he will. I know too much about the world to ignore my instincts."

"Do those instincts tell you to spy on everyone?"

"Just the people I don't trust."

"Am I in that category? Because last I checked, I don't live in Silver Valley with him anymore. But you all seem to know if I have or have not been in contact with him."

"I'm not 'spying' on you." I hate that phrase but I'm using her words. "I'm keeping tabs on Ross, not you, because I don't trust him."

"Ross is in my past, not yours. Past, as in, it's over now."

"And you're in my future. I protect what's mine."

"Yours?" Her voice is breathless as she asks the question.

"Yes."

I hear her breathing quietly, but she doesn't say anything for a while. I'm practically holding my breath as I wait for her to respond. It's not a declaration of love, because hell if I'm saying that for the first time over the phone. But it's close in my book. I wonder if she feels the same. If I'm hers.

"I need to go."

That's not what I was expecting her to say.

"Ok. Can I call you later?"

More silence stretches between us, as far as the physical distance I'm already trying to overcome.

"You can. Tomorrow. I'm wiped out from all of the traveling."

The relief is powerful. I didn't realize how tense I was waiting for her to react. Maybe tomorrow will be easier.

I can only hope. 

I have to say, a growly Clinton all out of sorts is kind of appealing. And listen, I realize that last interaction with Colleen needs some work ( can we say rouuuuuuugh draft??) but I love his parts with Zack and Frank. Clinton is a man of action, he said so himself, so I'm sure some action is forthcoming.

The wheels are a turning for me with this series! I'm revising Diva to get prepped to send to the editor. I think it's going well with new scenes and smoother chapters. PLUS I have a story idea started for Javier!! (The Kid). And his love interest is someone we've already met *wink*

Music this week is another last minute add, although I think it's a good fit for his melancholy. "And it only goes to show, you know - There's an angel on my shoulder."

https://youtu.be/ohDQ1FUUjPs

Thanks for reading!! See you next Friday!