this is how you fall in love // Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler

I follow Colleen through the connecting doorway to an already sleeping Katie, still in her fluffy yellow dress as she lays across the bed. I watch as Colleen leans down, brushing hair away from Katie's face as she speaks quietly to my daughter.

"Sweetie, let's get you changed for bed."

The way my heart takes in the scene is physically jarring. I can hardly take in oxygen with the way my chest is clenched. Katie rouses just enough to offer Colleen a wavering smile as they move toward the bathroom to change. I freeze in place at the sight before me, the woman I'm falling for clearly loving my daughter. If I wasn't immobilized by this vision, I'd be gripping my chest.

God, I wanted Colleen before we walked in here, restless to be alone with her, finally. But now, after witnessing the way she cares for my kid, I'm fucking desperate.

Minutes later, the two of them pad to Katie's bed. Colleen pulls the covers back and settles my girl under them. I come back to life, giving Katie a kiss on the forehead but she's asleep almost the second her head hits the pillow. I glance over to Colleen who now stands at the end of the bed watching me tuck Katie in, a look on her face that mirrors the sensation shooting through me just minutes ago.

I straighten to my full height, eyes not leaving Colleen's as I move closer to her. I take her by the hand, leading us back to the door between our rooms. Then I lean in, my lips at her ear, and whisper.

"Come with me."

Colleen turns to look at me. Our eyes lock in a heated gaze. "Shouldn't I change first?"

"No." My voice still a whisper, I leave no room for doubt about what I'm asking. "I want to peel you out of this dress."

Her breath catches at my words.

"But Katie will be alone." Colleen glances back at my daughter.

"We're one room away, no further than when I'm at home with her." It hits me that maybe I'm reading all of this wrong. I lean back in. "Unless, you'd rather not."

Once again, our eyes lock. In Colleen's gaze I see desire. But I also see fear. She looks at Katie once more before pulling me through the door and into my room. I watch with hope as Colleen gently closes the adjoining door. Slowly, she turns back to look at me, leaning against the door as both hands grip the knob behind her.

"I don't know what this is," she says, eyes downcast.

I clear my throat. Her eyes ease back to mine as I bring one hand up to my beard. I run my fingers along the soft hair without taking my eyes off Colleen.

"Say more. I don't know what to focus on first," I tell her.

She closes her eyes. "When you asked me to get on a plane-"

"Demanded." I cut her off. "Let's be honest." I smirk.

A ghost of a smile graces her lips as she nods. "Demanded I get on a plane. I figured it was desperation."

"It was."

"And that you had an opportunity to have me all to yourself without..." She stops herself, nodding her head back toward Katie.

"True."

"But that opportunity passed us by. And now we're here."

"Together."

Colleen finally dares to look me in the eyes as she speaks her mind. "With Katie."

I tilt my head, assessing the physical distance between us, further than I realized. I take two steps in her direction, unbuttoning my left cuff then rolling it halfway up my arm.

"I held you at arms-length for the last year because I knew what this would be."

I switch to the right cuff, unbuttoning and rolling it the same way as I take a few more steps. Her eyes drift down to where the cuff now meet the thicker part of my forearm.

"But the closer we got, the harder it was to hold back what I really wanted."

I reach where she still leans against the door. I raise my left arm over her shoulder, leaning a hand against the door. My free hand cups the back of Colleen's head, my thumb caressing the side of her face.

"But..." She stops herself.

"But what, sweetheart." I recognize the uncertainty reflecting in her eyes because I felt the same way before I let myself cross the line of friendship with her. "Say it. Say anything. Ask everything you need to ask. I'm not here to pressure you. I'm here to show you what you mean to me."

With both hands now pressed against the door to keep from touching her unless she tells me to, I watch as she inhales deeply before looking up into my eyes.

"But, is this a one-time thing? Is this just a hot night together? Because I thought I could, but now I know...I just can't."

My eyes close as a sigh escapes because I know I've fucked this up. I press my forehead to hers, bringing both hands to cradle her jaw.

"Wh-what do you really want?" Her voice waivers as her gaze once again return to mine. My self-control is about to snap but I keep it together for her sake. She's not ready for what's simmering deep inside me.

"Have I not made myself clear?"

Colleen shakes her head slowly, eyes never leaving mine.

"You." I lean down to kiss her cheek. "Your smiles." I kiss the side of her mouth. "Your laughter." I nibble her jaw. "Your unbothered mindset." My lips find the shell of her ear. "Your openness." I trail light kisses to her neck. "Your acceptance." I reach her collar bone. "Very simply, all of you." I glance up to find her eyes shut, her lips slightly parted while tiny breaths escape.

"The bigger question is, what do you want?" I ask, hoping beyond hope that her answer is me.

"Of course, you," she says, voice thick with emotion.

"Can I kiss you now? Can I show you what you mean to me?"

Colleen tilts her head up so that our lips are nearly pressed together. I take that as a yes, so I follow her lead and press my lips to hers. My hands reach around her back, finding her hands and taking them into my own. I pull her arms out from their hiding spot and wrap them around my neck, my mouth never leaving hers. With us pressed together and satisfied that she's now holding onto me, I lift her up under the knees. With her body cradled to mine, I carry her away from the door and toward the bed. I'm slow to put her down as she's got one hand on my cheek, kissing me tenderly.

When I can't wait another second to peel her out of this fucking gorgeous dress, I release her legs, allowing them to slide down my body until she's standing in front of me. With my eyes still locked on hers, I finger through her hair, slowly pulling one hair pin after another out of her twisted do, dropping them on the floor as I go. As her hair sways, cascading down her back, I brush it away from her shoulders, kissing along her neck. My wandering fingers find a lone pearl button at her back followed by the cold metal of her zipper. The sound it makes as I pull it down, the grip of the teeth releasing one by one, fills the room with tense anticipation.

With the zipper pull down at the small of her back, I bring my fantasy to life, peeling the dress from her shoulders, down her arms and chest. The fabric crinkles and swooshes as I slide the dress past her hips then drops to the floor in a heap. Colleen stands before me in some of the lacy underthings I got a glimpse of oh so long ago in her bathroom. Back then, I averted my eyes, not wanting to tempt fate where she was concerned.

Now, I can't take in enough of the gorgeous sight.

"Stunning." It's all I can say. And I'm not sure it was fully audible. I feel drunk. Speech escapes me. I'm literally speechless. But Colleen doesn't stand idle waiting for my words.

Her hands find the buttons of my shirt, undoing one at a time. Her eyes dart to mine, a new flirty smile gracing her lips. God, I love it.

I'm sinking into love with this woman. It's not a fall. I didn't let go and find myself tumbling toward it. I've held on the entire time to whatever branch or rock I could get my hands on. I've been afraid to let this take over, knowing what I know about myself, and honestly because of how important Colleen has become to me.

And now that I'm here, standing before Colleen in a set of sexy as fuck lingerie while she undoes my shirt, and then the zipper on my pants, I can't deny the truth. It's only a matter of time before I'm fully immersed in my feelings for her. The L word.

Love.

Once my pants are gone, I debate confessing my thoughts as I take her in my arms. But the feel of our warm skin to skin contact—my arms around her back, her stomach pressed against mine, my thigh wedged between her legs—reduces my thoughts to vapor. Tender kisses turn hungry and demanding. In desperation I lay her on the bed and hover above her, looking down at my heart's desire.

"Desperate. That's how you make me feel." I lean down to kiss her neck, pulling back again to take in the sight before me. This woman splayed out like a dream is everything I never knew I needed. Wanted? Yeah, no fuck. I wanted her the second I met her. But needed? I've never needed anyone the way I need Colleen.

"Wait," she says. Immediately I pull my head up.

"What is it?" I search her eyes, dark with desire.

"I need to tell you something."

My reaction is intense. I don't know what it is she wants to say but my attention is now 100% on my surroundings. Her breathing, her focus, her eye contact. I'm looking for a tell but find nothing.

"Tell me." I demand, needing to know.

She closes her eyes. "I don't have a lot of experience doing...this."

I let out the pent-up breath and drop my forehead to her shoulder.

"Baby," I say. I shake my head. "I don't either."

Wide eyes, she looks up at me. "You don't?"

I shake my head. "I don't get around. Only been with my ex."

"But," she glances up and down my body. "Look at you."

I check myself. "Yeah?"

"You're fucking hot."

I smirk. "So are you." I lean in to kiss just under her ear. "So fucking hot I practically lose my mind every time I look at you. I started having hot sex dreams about you."

"You did?"

"Of course, I did. Look at you. Curves for days. Glamorous as hell tonight. But I'm nearly undone every time you're in those tight yoga pants all sweaty from a workout. Damn. And baby..." I kiss her hard on the mouth, letting my tongue explore for a second before I finish what I want to say. Apparently, I get carried away because Colleen pushes against my shoulders to break contact.

"And baby, what? Finish your thought."

"Um..." I look at her lips with longing. "That was the thought. We're about to make magic together. Doesn't matter if we haven't experienced what the world has to offer. I only want what you have to offer. The world means nothing to me. You mean everything."

She smiles. "Okay. Let's make magic."

That's all I need to hear before I'm ready to erase the last remaining line between us.

Our hands seek more contact, brushing against skin, finding straps and clasps and waistbands that need discarding. The soft light of the desk lamp casts a glow on her skin. A hint of her sweet perfume lingers between us, less potent than it was earlier in the evening. The salt of her skin spreads across my tongue as I kiss across her chest, finding the swell of her breast between my lips.

There's no lines left between us now.

Edit: I JUST realized that there was another chapter titled Desperation. Totally didn't notice it while drafting this one. So I changed this one to sinking. Clinton mentions that in reference to "sinking into love."

See also: making chapter titles sucks but I'm keeping with the series patterns. After this one I'm going back to numbered chapters!

This scene may not be more than a single 🌶 of spice, but I have to say Clinton's mini love rant's were pretty swoony. I hope you had the urge to hold your reading device to your chest at least once during this chapter. But it is now safe to say that Clinton and Colleen have moved out of the friendzone!

Music confession: this song is new to me. I literally went onto Apple music and searched "love songs", found a playlist and searched for songs I didn't know. This was the first unfamiliar love song and I was hooked the second I started listening. The perfect vibe. The perfect words. The duet. All of it. This is Colleen and Clinton

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Thanks SO MUCH for reading! More fun C1 drama, growly Clinton and swoony talk is on its way 🥰