❁Chapter Twelve❁
Songs: Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey
Hymn For The Weekend by Coldplay
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https://youtu.be/ZFWC4SiZBao
My fingers outlined the tattoo's running down his arms. I've never felt so good before- being held so close by the man i've always had some attraction to. He blew out a puff of smoke, fixating his eyes down on my face. The corners of his lips twitched upward slightly.
I focused on the burning cigarette in his hand, while the whole entire memory of what just happened filled my mind. It was everything I wanted, and the fact that Sean would be pissed off made it so much better.
"I should go." He spoke, placing the cigarette back in his mouth. I raised my head off of his shoulder and stared at him. He chuckled, noticing my worried look. His free hand raised my chin, as his face came closer- only to place a long, kiss on my lips. "I'm only leavin' so Sean wont catch me in the a.m"
A sigh of relief fell through my body. At least I knew he wasn't trying to just get rid of me.
I nodded slowly, giving him the room to get out of my messed up bed. I watched him as he dressed himself, definetly something I could get used to in the mornings.
My eyes fell to the floor once i realized that I still needed to work things out with Bliss so I had a place to move into later. The best thing about Babee's house, is that she left all of her great decor behind. At least I wouldn't have to cause a huge scene, and move all my shit out of here.
Ripper noticed my distant expression, for he sat down on the edge of my bed and looked me in my eyes. "You gonna be okay?"
I smiled slightly, "I'll figure it out."
He nodded, standing up and leaving me and everything we just did behind. As soon as the door shut, and he was out of sight, I dropped my back down on my bed with a sigh.
I didn't know if i'd be able to figure it all out. I'm sure Bliss would let me move in, but was I really ready to live alone? It'd be my first time completely on my own, although now a-days it sure feels like I am.
I smelt the stench of smoke, and turned my head to see Ripper's unfinished cig laying across a tissue box next to my bed. I inched my way up to the top of my bed, reaching over to grab the stick. I stared at it in my fingers a while, before placing it in my mouth, and taking a drag.
I closed my eyes as I exhaled the amount of smoke I took in. Things were about to get real interesting.
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Babee's house was around the same, small size the rest of our houses were. The only thing really different about it, was the vibrant color and interior- Bliss knew how to design a house, and she had some help from her rich friend at the time.
The living room was pretty basic. It wasn't too huge, so it mainly consisted of a couch, small table, foot rest, tv set, and pretty decor.
The kitchen was a beautiful lime green. It was pretty basic, having little cabinets & countertops, but it was also modern, and great for Babee giving me the house for free.
Her bedroom was amazing. Completely white, but also very cute. I loved the modern-ness that came with a vintage twist. It would be perfect for me to sleep in every night.
"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay here?" I asked, looking at her as she rubbed her thumb up and down the side of a picture frame. I moved to get a closer view, and saw that it was of her and her parents- Bliss was the only one of us who was actually close to her folks.
"Of course, Tip." She put the picture down, and sat down on the bed. "As you know, I'll be leaving pretty soon. I wont be here to take care of the place, but if I have you staying here, there's no worry."
I knew how much she loved this place. It was everything to her. To her, it was basically the whole former part of her life. She was born here, graduated here, and watched her parents die here. If anything happened to this house, Bliss would never be the same again.
"But lettin' me live here for free-." I pulled out a stash of money, "At least let me give you somethin' for it."
Bliss smiled, giggling quietly. She walked over to me, and tucked the money back in my pocket. "The only price is taking great care of it."
I hugged her tightly, "You've done so much for me throughout my lifetime." I pulled away as a tear fell down my cheek, "Thank you."
Her eyes began to water as well, and she wiped the falling tears before they ruined her full face of perfect make-up. Unlike everybody else, It was easy for me to tell when Bliss was going to just disappear again. The next time she'd go, was going to be early morning.
I didn't want her to leave me again. Who knows where she'd go this time, and who knows when she'd come back- if she ever came back. I can only imagine the pain Wes would feel when he wakes up tomorrow only to see that she wasn't lying next to him no more.
"Stay." I blurted, without even thinking. Bliss looked at me alarmingly.
She slowly shook her head, "I can't"
"Why not!" I shouted, "Everythin' you love- Everythin' you've ever cared for is here. Why do you keep puttin' us behind you? We're your family Bliss, all of us."
Her sad eyes raised to meet mine, "It's too hard staying here all the time- looking at the same place my parents died everyday. When I travel, it's like I don't have that pain staring at me all the time."
"But what about Wesley?" I reminded her, "You don't get to see the pain in his eyes when he finds out you've left yet again. He loves you, Bliss!"
A small smile appeared on her lips, "He hasn't told you yet?"
My heart stopped, hoping she wasn't going to say what I thought she was going to say. "No."
She closed her eyes, "I shouldn't be the one telling you this, but Wes is coming with me this time."
And that was it. That's when everything inside me felt like it was about to come out. Now not only was it one brother abandoning me, but two. I shoved past Bliss, and bolted out of the house. I ran to my old place, slamming the screen door open.
Dime, Steel, Ricky, Ripper, and Scram all stared at me in confusion- tears streaming down my face. Sean came out of the kitchen laughing with Wesley. They both stopped once they saw my state of being.
"Tip? Is everythin'-"
"No." I snapped, cutting Sean off. I directed my gaze towards Wesley. My lower lip began to quiver immensely, and I couldn't hold anything else inside anymore. The front door swung open again, and in came Bliss- panting heavily.
"I tried- to- stop her- before she- got here." Bliss said, in between heavy pants.
"How could you." I cried, shaking my head, "How could you leave me too!"
Wesley sighed, his eyes falling to his muddy shoes. Both Sean and Ricky looked at him with confusion in their eyes.
"Scott family- Kitchen, now." Sean demanded. All four of us piled in, locking the swinging door so nobody would disturb us.
"What's she talkin' about?" Ricky asked, leaning against the counter for support. Wes bit his lower lip, debating on whether or not to actually explain himself- or just let me do it instead.
"Tell them." I snapped, "Or I will."
Sean squinted his eyes at me. I wanted to punch him in the face, because he didn't even try to stop me from moving out earlier, unlike Wes did- who apparently wont even be living here starting tomorrow morning.
His eyes closed, and he began to speak. "Y'all know how much I care about Bliss- I just don't wanna be apart from her anymore. She's leavin' tomorrow mornin' guys, and I'm goin' with her."
There was a long silence. Sean stared at the floor, while Ricky continuously rubbed his face in his hands. I stood there breathing loudly, watching my chest as it rapidly moved up and down.
"Where to?" Sean finally asked, breaking the quite.
A sly smile appeared on Wesley's lips, "Barcelona."
"Spain?" Ricky's eyes widened. Barcelona was always a place he wanted to visit since we were four.
My heart sunk a bit though. Spain was so far away. That would mean it'd be a while before they both actually came back.
"I don't see what's so great about spain." I spat, causing all three of my brothers to roll their eyes. They knew it was just my anger talking, and not my actual self.
"Spain has a lot to offer, Tip." Wes replied, taking a large bite out of the apple that was resting next to the half-eaten sandwich on Sean's plate.
"Does it have street racin'? Does it have your job at the grill? Does it have your family?" I asked, placing a sad, sarcastic smile on my face.
Wesley looked down, "Ya' know- It may not have all of those things, but at least it will have my happiness. Is that too much to ask for? Why can't you just feel happy for me, instead of sad for yourself?"
"Well excuse me." I yelled, "Okay- You're not the one who has to sit here every fucking day, and watch someone else walk away from ya'. First it was Sean, and now- it's you! I never thought that out of all the people in the world, you would be the one to just push me aside like the others. We're supposed to be sticking together- all of us! But now one's gettin' married, and another's movin' away. Soon you're both gonna have your own people to deal with, but what happens to us- what happens to Ricky- what happens to me?"
All three of my brothers avoided eye-contact with me. Good, it meant they were thinking. For once, they have to understand what I'm feeling. They have to see all the pain I have inside me due to two-out-of-three of them abandoning our family. And now the girl who's helped me through basically everything is leaving again as well. I can't always go to Ripper to talk, because then Sean would surely take a hint. Sly is too busy now-a-days with her many boy toy's- and her quest to make Scram hers for good. Everyone else's lives seem to be adding up- except for mine. I'm alone, and that's not such a great thing to be.
https://youtu.be/FUiALlca18k
"So now that you semi-understand, I'm just gonna leave and let you process everythin'." I unlocked the swinging door, and half-way pushed it open. Before I walked out, I turned around and stared at Wes.
"Oh." I began, "Have fun in Spain." I flashed an arrogant smirk, before walking past everyone in the outside room. Their eyes watched me as I kept my head up high, and showed no emotion. If they wanted to be known as the ones who left behind their family, then who am I to stop them?
Besides, I'm on my own now. Who needs them anymore?
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