Toby was slowly roused from sleep when the bright California sun shone into his eyes, though he was still not willing to open them. Letting out a little sigh, he realized he felt awfully cold with Spencer’s arms around him, without her protective and comforting pressed next to him. Where was she? His hazy mind reached with possible scenarios; what if she left to get breakfast, or maybe she was in the pool, collapsed and unconscious from post-injury disorder.

                Okay, no, he thought to himself. He was overacting. His heart raced, and he was almost afraid to open his eyes; it was stupid, he knew, but waking up without her made him feel…empty. On edge. When he finally did open his eyes, it was quickly followed by a sigh of relief. His gaze fell on a little wooden shower at the other end of the roof, seriously, where the water was steadily flowing across the concrete and collecting in a drain. Toby’s heart instantly returned to its normal pace; he hated how nervous he felt nowadays, after Spencer’s injury, after realizing that she was merely human, that he was merely human…and that life, her life, was more fragile than it seemed a month ago.

                Slowly, Toby sat up with sore muscles, his feet lightly hitting concrete. He took a moment just to smile at the pink skyline of the city as the sun started to rise over the gray, blue buildings. He wanted to imprint this image in his mind, save it for when there was a dreary day at home. He always wanted to remember this place, this city…the things he felt here. The woman he fell in love with. Well, not just any woman. His best friend.

                Toby silently made his way to Spencer, smiling to himself. He could hear her singing. Singing and humming! He had to stifle his giggle, though it was nearly impossible once she heard exactly what song it was.

                “I’ll get it if you need it,” she sang quietly and Toby nearly fell over right then in hysterical laughter, especially when she started humming the rest of the song because she didn’t know the lyrics until she got to, “When you get worried I’ll be your soldier.”

                Toby couldn’t himself now, and the laughter flooded out of his lips like water being released from a dam. “You get hurt, I’ll take your pain!” he sang-shouted back.

                “Shut up!” she chuckled back. Toby grinned to himself. He loved this side of Spencer, the soft, playful side that very few people got to see. He liked it. There was a part of Spencer that was reserved for him and him alone. It was what he loved so much about her. It had always been that way; it was nothing new. Even in middle school, Toby was the one person she could truly be herself with, the one person who could get past the thick layer of brooding and pondering; he always saw her for who she truly was. “You do you really outdid yourself with the whole date last night.”

                “It was worth the wait,” she replied. “It was Emily’s idea.”

                He chuckled. “I’m glad we got to go on our first real date.”

                Spencer responded almost instantly. “Me too.”

                Sitting there for a moment, Spencer just smiled, happily getting lost in her pleasant thoughts. She didn’t realize she was doing it, but Spencer began to hum once again; this time to some Kodaline she couldn’t remember the name of it. She knew exactly what how it sounded though; how could she forget?

                The memories filled Spencer’s mind, and she easily got lost in them for a few minutes.

                Spencer absently twiddled with her thumbs as she sat in the darkest corner of the school gym. She wasn’t into these dances anymore; they were boring. She wanted to enjoy the circus dance, but she just wouldn’t let herself.

                As the happy couples pressed against each other on the dance floor, slow dancing to that overplayed Kodaline song, she sat alone. Alex was probably looking for her, or maybe not. Maybe he was dancing with someone else. That was fine too. She honestly didn’t care.

                “Spence?” the quiet voice snapped her out of her depressing thoughts, and she looked up, only to be met with Toby’s green eyes. His hair softly fell on his forehead over his eyes, she had tried to gel it back earlier, but it had a mind of its own. Or maybe Jenna, his older girlfriend who wore skimpy clothes that should have been purchased by a third grader, had dragged him off earlier for stolen kisses in the hallway.

                “Where have you been?” Spencer asked timidly, though she feared that she already knew the answer.

                “Looking for you!” he said breathlessly. “I couldn’t find you and I got worried.” He nervously smoothed out his suit and stared at her, concern seeming in his eyes.

                Spencer looked up at her best friend and sadly smiled. “Here I am.”

                “Why aren’t you dancing?” he questioned with a worried tone, propping himself to sit on the table she had been leaning against.

                “Don’t feel up to it,” Spencer breathed out. “Shouldn’t you be with Jenna or something?” The words came out a little too harsh than she had intended.

                Toby answered calmly, “I didn’t invite her.” Spencer was a bit taken back by his words, but she didn’t bother to ask why; she always could later.

                Instead of replying at all, she fixed her gaze on the floor. “Can you take me home, Toby?”

                “Sure, sure,” he answered immediately, quickly grabbing her by the arm and escorting her out of the gym and out into the school parking lot. The same slow song, that was starting to get on Spencer’s nerves, could still be heard from outside. She huffed and started walking even faster, realizing after a few seconds that Toby was no longer following her. So, slowly, she turned around, her gaze landing on him. He was about ten feet away under a street light, standing still.

                “What are you doing?” she said annoyed.

                “I’m not leaving until you dance at least once,” he answered stubbornly. Despite her depression, Spencer couldn’t help but fight the little smile that curled up on her lips. Crossing her arms over her chest, she kept her gaze on him.

                “You’re not going back inside.”

                “Okay.” Toby smiled a little bit. “Then dance right here.” He pointed next to himself, making Spencer roll her eyes. “You look beautiful, Spence. Might as well put your circus outfit to use once, right?”

                When he called her beautiful, her heart picked up speed a little bit. He didn’t even like dancing, but she knew she wanted her to have fun despite her overwhelming depression. “It’s a slow dance though.” She didn’t want awkwardly sway with her best friend…

                “So pretend I’m Alex,” he joked. Spencer, giving up, laughed a little and placed her hand in his, swaying back and forth as the rhythm of the slow song played from inside. She’d never tell him this, but she didn’t want to pretend he was Alex; dancing in Toby’s arms…her best friend’s arms…seemed to cure her depression. After the song ended, a faster one played. She was ready to go, but Toby told her they could stay for one more.

                So there they were, dancing in the parking lot like idiots, but for a while, Spencer was able to forget…because he made her feel alive again. That was the night that she realized her feelings for her friend may have been more than just a crush; was she falling in love with him?

                Spencer smiled lightly at the memories; though some were sad, they made her heart race with warmth to know that Toby had been by her side through it all. As she gently hummed the same song to herself on the bed, she realized for the billionth time that she was absolutely, undeniably, forever in love with him.

                “I wish you were my first kiss,” she said aloud dreamily, smiling lovingly in front of her.

                “We’ll I hope to be your last,” he answered back, and Spencer jumped upon realizing she’d said it out loud. Her cheeks flushed with warmth.

                “You weren’t supposed to hear that!” she giggled, burying her face in her hands. Suddenly, she squealed in surprise when she felt Toby’s warm arms circle around her waist. Toby buried his face in the crook of her shoulder, nuzzling her neck. “Stop! Stop! Toby!” she laughed loudly. She hit his chest playfully. “Why did you do that?” she shouted.

                His only response was giving her a long, lingering kiss that left her breathless. “I love you!” he proclaimed as if he was telling the world.

                “I love you.” She kissed him again but quickly pulled away, smiling brightly. “Why are you in such a good mood this morning?”

                “I woke up for the first time in a while feeling…great,” he said pleasantly. “I woke up next to you.”

                Then he covered her face with kisses that sent her heart fluttering. “You wake up next to me every morning.”

                At that point they gave up on their playful banter and allowed their lips to collide. Toby’s fingers tangled into Spencer’s dark hair while her own roped through his chestnut locks; at the moment, their biggest concern was getting as close as possible. Spencer could feel his smile against her own lips, and it only lightened to mood. It had been a while since Toby had been this happy, and she never wanted to ruin it. When he was happy, she was happy.

                They were kissing so passionately but loving nonetheless, Spencer had never felt so alive.

                After all, you’re supposed to be with the person that makes you feel glad you’re alive…