It's been too long since my body has been touched. The way his hot breath felt on my skin as he breathed heavily. His lips pressing against my warm skin, the fresh saliva making my body shiver as the wind whirled through the room from the open window. The dimmed lights making his skin glow. The heat our bodies created against each others as we moved together.

Paul kissed my back softly, his hands rubbing between my thighs as he moved into me. I gripped the bedsheets, and moaned into the pillows. His name slipping out of my lips over and over again. He thrust harder whenever I called out his name.

I threw my head back and let out another moan as he picked up the pace, my body shaking as my orgasm took over. He gripped my waist, diggning his nails into my skin as he followed. His thrusts slowing down, slowly coming to a stop. He pulled out and layed back, pulling me into his arms. I missed this feeling.

"Oh Paul...That was amazing." I breathed, brushing the hair away from my eyes. He rested his arm over his forehead and caught his breath as he spoke.

"It's been awhile since I've touched you that way. Now I know why John loves it so much."

I smiled and leaned up, pecking his lips. "You touch me differently. You're soft and gentle."

He looked into my eyes and stroked the side of my face slowly. I blushed as we gazed into each others eyes. I knew he still loved Michelle. He knew I still loved John. We were like the misfits that everyone tossed to the side when their owners got a new toy.

I looked down at my hands, the finger on my ring.

"I don't want to love him Paul. He's tearing me apart."

"I know Lucy."

I looked up at him. "Do you think it's wrong for me to want a normal life?"

He smiled and traced the outside of my lips with his index finger.

"I think you're the most sane person in my life. You're a smart girl Lucy."

I smiled and bit my lip. "I love you Paul. I really do."

He reached over and turned off the lamp next to his bed, surrounding us in darkness.

"I love you too Lucy. And I promise to never let anyone hurt you."

..

June 18, 1967

I slipped on the black mini dress and put on my black heels. Not a good choice. I pouted and looked at myself in the mirror. Fat.

I jumped when Paul walked into the room and whistled at me.

"Save it McCartney."

"What? I think ye look sexy."

I laughed and shook my head. "I'm fat Paul. Big and fat."

"You're not fat love. You're gorgeous."

I rolled my eyes and looked at myself in the mirror. Paul wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his hands on my stomach. My big round stomach.

"Come on, it's just going to be you..me....the band..." He said each name between kissing my neck. I melted in his arms. "...we'll stay for an hour then we'll leave yeah?" 

I sighed and nodded. "Okay Paul. An hour." 

"An hour." He smiled. 

..

It was Paul's birthday and the guys decided to have a small get together at George's place. From what I heard, George and Pattie were back together. Him and Maureen stopped seeing each other since she was almost ready to pop soon. Richard still had no idea about the affair.

I was living with Paul for now. It's been about two weeks since I've seen John. Which was the day me and him had that huge arguement. And tonight, we were about to have one big happy reunion.

Me and Paul knocked on the front door. I was nervous, holding Julian in my arms. "paul I dont think I'm ready for this."

"You'll be fine love."

"No I wo...Hey Geo." I smiled as the front door opened.

"Heya. Finally the birthday boy is here."

"Well I'm not longer a boy now am I?" Paul joked. I smiled and held onto his arm.

We walked inside and made our way into the living room where the others were. I noticed Pattie and Maureen talking on the sofa as Richard and John talked out on the balcony. I chewed on my lip and looked around, sitting on a chair to rest my feet. Julian was falling asleep in my arms and holding onto me.

I wasnt very comfortable to be honest. Most of these people were supposed to be my friends. And for some reason, I felt like a stanger to all of them. Except for Paul. I was sitting alone for a few minutes until someone pulled a chair beside me.

"Hi."

I looked over and sighed. "Michelle."

"I um, saw you sitting alone and, I figured I'd keep you company."

I shook my head. "What do you really want? You dont like me, I dont like you, So then why..."

"I'm sorry I hurt you Lucy. I really really am. I never wanted things to be this way. Between us."

"Then why did you do this to me? You not only hurt me, you hurt Julian. He's a little boy. He doesnt need to be seeing women coming and going out of his father's life.

"I know Lucy. I didnt mean for it to happen."

"You were my friend. The only friend I've ever had in a long time. You ruined our friendship, mine and John's marriage...any kind of trust I had for John. You hurt Paul. He loved you." I shook my head and sniffled. "I dont understand why you would do all of this."

"I love him." She blurted out. 

"Paul? He still loves you Michelle. Why not make things right between..." 

"I dont mean Paul." 

I froze and looked at her. I took a deep breath and laughed to myslef. She went on. 

"I do Lucy. And he loves me too. He told me so last night." 

I looked over at John, who was watching us. The pain in my chest coming back. I had to hold onto Julian to make sure I wasnt going unconcious. I stood up and looked down at her. 

"Well then, I wish you two good luck. You'll need this." 

I let the tears fall and tossed my ring on the small table next to her.

"I have to go."

"Please Lucy wait. I dont want things to be this way between us." She followed me as I walked out of the room, to the front door.

"I still love him. I thought maybe we could make things work but now...Fuckin christ I cant do this" I said opening the door. She grabbed my arm.

"Lucy..here."

I watched as she grabbed my hand and handed the ring to me. "Keep it. It belongs to you."

I nodded and looked at her. "He's going to hurt you. It's only a matter of time." I turned on my heel and made my way to the car. I put Julian in the backseat and closed the door. I leaned against the vehicle and cried. Not even an hour into the party and I was already a mess. I hated this. I hated being hurt anytime he was around. My friends were my enemies. Strangers. People I wanted to avoid. I can't bring my child into a world like this. I need to get away.

..

I sat in the bathtub, hugging my knees and just staring at the bubbles disappear in the water. My eyes were red from all the crying. I had no more tears to shed. Paul was still back at George's. I told him to stay and have a good time. I didn't want to ruin his birthday.

I was completely caught up in my own thoughts, I jumped when I felt tiny hands cover my eyes. I smiled and removed them. 

"You should be asleep." I said, my voice was shaky.

"I know. I just dont want to see you sad." He pouted. I leaned over and looked into his eyes.

"I know things between me and daddy have'nt been so good. But I just want you to remember something. I love your daddy. I always will."

He nodded and kissed my cheek. "Can I lay in bed with you tonight?"

I smiled a moved my thumb over his eyebrows. Christ he looked exactly like John. His eyes, his smile, the way he looked into my eyes. Julian was so innocent and couldn't possibly understand how much his father screwed up. All he knew was that he loved him.

"Of course you can baby."

..

3:25 am

I sat on the kitchen counter, sleepily eating frozen yogurt with rasberries to sooth my cramps. Paul walked in, his eyes half closed, squinting from the light. I smiled.

"Did I wake you?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I was reachin over to hold ye but, you were gone. I came downstairs, saw the light on in the kitchen and well, here ye are."

"Yup. Here I am." I giggled.

He nudged my legs apart, his body moving between. I set the container aside and moved my fingers into his hair as he pressed his lips on mine.

We kissed until our lips were red and swollen. His hands gripping my thighs while I moaned into his mouth. We pulled apart and looked at each other.

"John's a fuckin idiot for letting ye slip away from him."

I smiled and brushed his hair away from his eyes. "I love you."

He played with the strap to my nightgown and pulled it down, kissing my neck.

"I love you too. Fuckin hell you're so beautiful."

I gasped as his teethed grazed my skin. My body tingling with excitement while my hands moved down his smooth chest.

We were touching and kissing for a few minutes, until I felt something between my legs.

"P..Paul." I said pushing him back. He looked down and saw the blood running down my legs.

.....