2019

"What would you say if I asked if you'd want to go on a trip?"

He could have picked a better time to ask that question. It sounded harmless enough, but I hadn't been expecting it, so when I kicked back up to the surface and that was the first thing I heard, I almost swallowed a gargantuan amount of salt water.

"Did you say a... trip?"

"Yeah." Nikau pushed his drenched strands of hair back out of his face. "Book a flight. Walk onto a plane. Head somewhere—"

"I know what it means I'm just making sure I heard you right."

"I think you could use some time away. How long has it been since you went on a trip?"

"Never?"

"Then you're way overdue."

It was tempting to paddle away from him, maybe using catching a wave as a distraction, but Nikau was a strong swimmer and would have been able to catch up to me, and it wasn't like I had anywhere to go since we were swimming right outside my house. The fact that there weren't any decent waves on this part of the beach didn't help either.

I spent a lot of time in the water these past two weeks. I needed something to clear my head that didn't involve hiding away in Nikau's apartment, as gracious as he was for letting me use it as an oasis. The brief intermission in our hangouts turned out to be equally as beneficial to him since he was able to get most of the rest of his album done. He would never admit it but I could be somewhat of a distraction sometimes, either because he felt like he needed to try to entertain me or because I asked him too many questions about what he was doing. As much as I loved getting to see his entire process, being the first one to hear the final product was just as rewarding, and Nikau never disappointed with any of the MP3s he sent over.

"You deserve to see more of the world," Nikau said.

"Traveling is a privilege," I pointed out. "Not a right." Too many times had I wanted to scream that at people on the internet but stopped myself from doing so because I didn't want to start an online war with someone.

"I didn't say that it was either." Nikau smiled as he kicked closer to me. He placed one hand on my board, indirectly securing himself to me in case I tried to escape his line of questioning. "I'm trying to convince you to come with me."

"Where to?" I didn't mean for it to sound as hopeful as it did, but Nikau's eyes immediately lit up. "I'm just asking. I didn't say yes."

"I'm going to Chicago next week to work with Maverick, remember?"

A wave might as well have washed over me then because I was taken aback. My brain had gone fuzzy lately, processing everything that had happened recently as well as all that was forthcoming. The countdown of Nikau finishing his album and leaving Hawai'i loomed so closely that it was practically right there on the horizon. In only a few months, it'd be one year since he arrived on our islands. One year was the timeline he had given himself, and as much as Nikau liked to joke around about staying longer, if he had a complete album, he would have no reason to stay.

Not that I assumed he would think so, but I was not a good enough reason. He had so many plans ahead, so many dreams he was waiting to come true. If it came down to it, I wasn't going to get in the way of that.

"I wouldn't want to get in the way," I told him as I swam back to the shore with my boogie board towing behind me. "You're gonna be busy recording. I'll just get in the way."

"No, you won't," Nikau argued. He followed me as I began walking back to the house, grabbing the board strap from my hand so he could carry it for me. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind you being there. And even if you didn't go to the recording, you could explore the city on your own. And we'll have a day or two to do some sightseeing if we want."

"I don't even know if I have enough vacation—"

"You do."

I spun around, arms crossed. "Do you suddenly work in our HR department?"

"You never take off, you said so yourself. I know you have vacation time." Nikau leaned the board up against the back of the house as I grabbed a towel from the back table and used it to squeeze out my hair. "Next excuse."

"I also cannot just afford to buy a plane ticket to Chicago on such short notice. And that's not an excuse."

"I can pay for it." He stared at me with a ridiculously wide grin when I didn't respond. "What? It's not a big deal. I promise."

"It is a big deal. Plane tickets aren't cheap." Not that I knew what a typical flight to Chicago cost, but I was willing to bet it was more than my disposable income.

I yanked a baggy t-shirt on over my head before stepping into the house, leaving the door open for him if he wanted to come inside. As the door shut behind us, I continued into the kitchen to grab us something to drink from the fridge and turned around to find him watching me from his seat at the dining table.

Frustratingly, he hadn't put on a shirt.

"What?"

"If you don't want to go, you can just say it."

"I didn't say that."

"That's what it sounds like."

I dropped the water bottle into his hands.

As far as vacation spots in the States went, Chicago was about as far removed from Hawai'i life as a city could be—or so I thought based on my limited knowledge—so it would be a lie to say that it didn't even slightly interest me. Not only was there a lot to do, but it was also the birthplace of some of the greatest musical talents. And he was right; I could use the time off. There wasn't any logical explanation as to why I was being steadfast in trying to reject his invitation, other than my inability to just enjoy living in the moment and stop caring about what tomorrow might bring.

"It's not normal to just throw that kind of money around on someone," I said.

"It's really not that much money."

While I had zero insight into his finances, anyone who could afford his studio set-up and a move to Hawai'i for the sake of inspiration was financially better off than I was. "It is to me."

"Consider it an early birthday present."

I didn't even want to think about that. It was yet another reminder of how quickly time passed even as it felt like a slow crawl day by day. And if I was being honest, I hadn't cared about celebrating my birthday for years now. Asking my family to stop buying me presents the first year was an awkward experience because it operated under the assumption that they were going to anyway, but also because I didn't want to have to explain why growing up put too much pressure on me and being reminded of it left me feeling sick.

There wasn't much I could do with avoiding the third-degree line of questioning, so I downed the rest of my drink and pivoted toward the sink so I could distract myself by washing it. The sound of rushing water helped drown out the loud silence between us, but Nikau's footsteps quickly followed until he stood beside me.

He stood close enough that our arms brushed against each other. Resting my head on his shoulder felt like muscle memory, but I tried not to lean too far into it. Even when he didn't say anything, Nikau made everything somehow make sense. For right now, at this moment, being together made sense, even if I had no idea where we would both be a year down the line.

"Fine," I relented. "But I need a window seat. And don't even think of buying me a first-class ticket."

"I already booked you the window seat," he said.

I didn't miss how he glossed over the second part. "Is it a fir—"

He kissed the top of my head before grabbing the soapy sponge out of my hand. "You're gonna have fun. Promise."

...

"You should take that one." Kanani pointed at the coat hanging in the middle of the closet, one of three that we all collectively owned. "It'll be freezing. Like, in the 50s. And it's cute."

I scoffed. "Assuming global warming hasn't said otherwise."

Kanani rose to her feet and wobbled over toward the closet, yanking the coat down off the road and shoving it into my hands. "I checked the weather app. You'll need it."

"Why not just take all of them?" Leimomi asked from her spot on the bed. Her long strands of hair brushed against the rug below where her head hung as she lay upside down. "You have enough room in your bag, and you get free checked bags with first class." She sang the last two words, cutting in deeper into the guilt I already felt over how much money Nikau had spent on me, and we hadn't even left for the trip yet. I didn't want to think about how much money he was spending on the hotel.

"You know what?" Kanani looked between the two of us and then snagged the other two coats down. She tossed them over to my open suitcase on the other side of the bed before I could protest. "She's right. Take them all. You're there for three days. Who said you can't wear a new one every day?"

As much as I didn't want to pack an entire week's worth of clothes for three days, I knew there was no way I was getting out of there when it was two against one. "Minimalism is so overrated anyway, I guess."

Leimomi snapped her fingers and pointed at me. "Exactly. Livin' large."

Considering I had never been somewhere that cold before, my wardrobe was limited with suitable options for winter in Chicago, even if it was only the beginning of the season. And while I wasn't the most style-conscious person at home in Hawai'i, I didn't necessarily want to stick out like a sore thumb either. Tourists tended to naturally do that no matter where they were in the world, so the less help I gave myself in that department, the better.

"Nikau's lucky I could even take the time off, honestly." I walked over to the suitcase and started rolling the haphazard piles of clothes to fit inside. (A checked-size luggage case was entirely unnecessary, but our stash was limited and I didn't want to dig any further for a smaller size.) "My boss hates when people request that late."

"Your boss is a capitalist zombie," Kanani grumbled. "They hate when anyone requests time off for any reason. You could be on your death bed and they'd ask you when you'd be returning to work."

"She's just trying to distract us from the fact that she's excited to be going on a trip with her boyfriend," Leimomi said.

My head swung around at that comment. "Aren't you supposed to be the nice one who doesn't make fun of me?"

"I'm your little sister. That's in my job description." Leimomi swung herself around so she was lying on her stomach instead. "And I'm not making fun of you. I'm just pointing out the obvious."

I threw a shirt at her, which she didn't bother dodging. It fell straight to the floor where I would have to pick it up in a few minutes. "I have no idea what we're going to do, besides go to the studio and meet Maverick."

"Notice how she didn't deny the boyfriend allegations," said Leimomi.

"That's because they're categorically false and not worth my time."

Somehow, Kanani was being the more reasonable one tonight and taking it easy on me. I wasn't sure if I could attribute that to her being months away from becoming a mother, but her general mood had shifted over the past month or so. She had become a lot more mellow. Maybe baby hormones had that effect on pregnant people.

Kanani winced then and rubbed her hand in circles around her belly.

"You alright?"

"Yeah." She sighed. "Baby's just kicking a bit."

Leimomi perked up, moving toward the edge of the bed. "Really?"

While morning sickness had been a pain in the ass for her, Kanani had had a relatively painless pregnancy so far. She had claimed to only notice pain from the baby kicking a few times, but she had either been somewhere else when it happened, or the baby wasn't kicking anywhere we would have been able to feel it.

As Kanani gently massaged herself then, the bottom of her shirt rose high enough to see the curve of her belly and faint white stretch marks peeking through, along with a dark line that ran from the bottom of her belly button and disappeared under the band of her sweat pants. Her eyes widened slightly on one of the go-arounds, and a small smile slowly emerged onto her lips.

"Did you see that?"

"See wha—"

A small kick right near the bottom of her stomach. Barely noticeable if we weren't paying attention.

Leimomi kicked into overdrive, leaning over the mattress as far as she could. Perfectly in sync, Kanani immediately grabbed her hand and began moving it around the spot like they were searching for gold and Leimomi was the metal detector. As soon as our younger sister's eyes lit up, just as their hands paused in one spot, I knew they'd uncovered it.

"That's..." She was speechless. It took her a second to say anything else. "Wow. The little guy's really in there."

"That he is." She looked over at me. "Want to feel?"

I stared at her stomach. "Is he still moving?"

His timing was perfect. Kanani winced again just after I asked. "Yup. Still going. Braddah's probably dancing in there."

Discarding my clothes off to the side, I scooted across the rug until I was right by her side with Leimomi looking over my shoulder. Kanani had to lift my hand off the floor herself, and she repeated the same steps she had done with Leimomi, albeit this time taking a little bit longer. It gave my anxious brain enough time to think he had stopped just because he knew it was me this time and didn't want to see me.

But then suddenly, I felt it. A little push under the palm of my hand. And then another, and another, before it finally stopped.

My sister squeezed my hand. Kanani held the light of a thousand moons in her eyes, and I had never been happier for her.

Leaning over, I pressed my lips against the spot where I had felt him.