Tasneem almost fell backwards as she saw the person standing in her doorway.

She was on her way to the grocery store, fitting on her flip-flop haphazardly before grabbing her money from the table by the door. They had been running dangerously low on almost everything in their house and it was taking the longest time to replenish their supplies. She was mentally calculating her budget as she opened the door, stopping dead in her tracks at the sight before her.

She smelled of powder and a perfume that had long escaped Tasneem's memory. Aamina smiled up at her granddaughter, praying the door wouldn't be slammed in her face. "Are you heading out?"

"Uhm,"Tasneem looked down at her, her thoughts still frozen in time. "Ya, but I can do the shopping later." She stood back, opening the door fully. "Would you like to come in?"

"Yes," she closed her eyes in silent prayer, "Thank you."

Tasneem closed the door silently, looking at their flat through her grandmother's eyes. It was neat and there were no clothes strewn around the floor but she was embarrassed to see the mattress on the floor and the small, rickety table jammed up against the kitchenette wall. Her granny's home was spared no expense or luxury. It was small, yes, but each and every item spoke of subtle wealth that had spanned a lifetime. Her grandmother, grandfather, father and brothers had grown up in the lap of refined money and to have someone else witness what they had been reduced to had her rubbing her neck in nervousness.

"I'm sorry that there's not much space to sit." Tasneem walked to their little table, pulling a chair out for the older woman to sit on.

"It's fine."Aamina's voice sounded odd as she brushed past Tasneem, casually grazing her knuckles with her old, weathered hands. "I didn't come to look at your home, Tasneem. I came to see you."

Tasneem's lips quirked up, still feeling awkward about their last encounter. "How did you know where we lived?"

"Your husband phoned me."

Tasneem's eyes widened. She had never expressed any desire to see her granny again, not even to him so it baffled her knowing that Riaz had called her. "Riaz phoned you?" She asked, though she wasn't even sure why.

"Uhm hmm." Aamina looked down at her hands, unsure of how it was that she could feel so completely out of her depth in her own granddaughter's home. "He thought you might like to finish our conversation."

Tasneem looked at her, her ears reddening out of guilt. "I'm sorry I walked away last time."

"It was a lot to take in." she said, brushing off Tasneem's guilt. "I'm sorry too. I'm sure you never wanted to know all those things about your father."

Tasneem shrugged, uncomfortably. "I guess I needed to know though." She could still scarcely believe that she had another brother somewhere. She had never told Riaz about her doubts regarding him nor her hopes that surrounded him. She prayed he was the antithesis of her older brother. She prayed that he was sweet and gentle and kind and that he had remained someone's hero. She never wanted to meet him or know him but she just wanted to know if he was a good man. She had never shared her thoughts with her husband about what it might have been like to grow up with another brother. If they had lived in another life and her father had another son with her mother, would her life turn out differently. They were silly, stupid ridiculous notions that she felt shy to even think about but she could never stop them from coursing through the deepest recesses of her mind.

If their father had never left, would her brother still become the monster he turned out to be? She often wondered if her father leaving was the catalyst that sent their lives spinning so far out of control that it would eventually become a black hole pulling everything into its swirling vortex. Was her father really the catalyst or was it something else entirely?

There were days when she drove herself near mad considering the possibilities, asking herself why her mother and brother chose to become the people they had.

"I suppose I owe you a better explanation." Aamina's eyes widened before she delved into the deep corners of her bag. "I bought you these, though." In her hand was a small tub of white, star shaped biscuits that she remembered so well. "I baked them this morning. I remember you used to like them."

Tasneem gaped, taking the tin from her hand to open it. "I haven't had one of these in years." She looked down at the coconut biscuits, packed neatly atop a layer of wax-wrap and decorated with a single red cherry on top.

"If you could make us some coffee then we could talk."

Tasneem nudged her warmed mug towards her granny while she lifted Riaz's chipped one to her mouth, carefully shielding the chip from her grandmother's eyes. "I hope it's okay."

"It's fine."Aamina watched Tasneem over the rim of her mug, trying as hard as she could to decipher the young woman before her. She was built just like her father with a rounded, shorter figure but she didn't look full and healthy. She looked drained and wary and she looked as if she had aged too far beyond her time. She noticed the same thing about her husband the day he entered her house. He was handsome, no doubt, but he looked sad and weathered and the lines around his lips spoke of years and years of an absent smile.

Her grandchildren were sad and she didn't even know why.

"Your father refused to let go until I promised him that I would make you believe that he loved you." Aamina's voice choked on the last word, ashamed that she had never fulfilled that promise in all those years. "He was desperate for you to believe that he loved you. He begged your mother so many times to allow him to see you three just once before he died."

"Mum knew he was dying?" Tasneem asked softly, looking into her cup to mask her disbelief.

"Yes. As soon as your father found out, he phoned her." Aamina looked at her strangely, pity swelling in her eyes for the 3 children her son had left behind.

"She told us that you only let her know about his illness after he died." Her eyes pinched in concentration, trying to remember even one incident in which her mother had let them know.

"If you knew, would you have come to see him?" Aamina asked, hope evident in her voice but Tasneem's deafening silence said it all.

By the time Husain died, his wife had snubbed out any love her children had for him in their hearts and that thought shattered her.

"He was scared that if he went to prison, he would forever be denied his rights to see you three. That's why he was scared. Not for himself," Aamina set her cup gently down before taking Tasneem's hand in her own. "Please believe me. He was never afraid to go to prison for himself but he was only ever afraid that he would truly never be allowed to see you ever again."

Tasneem looked at her, trying to find even an ounce of untruth in her but all she saw was sheer desperation for her grandchild to believe the truth.

But could she do it?

"I believe,"Tasneem licked her lips, hating the dryness that seemed to drown her mouth, "I believe he loved us." She watched as light seeped back into Aamina's eyes before they dimmed once again with her next statement. "But so much has happened that even if I believe it, I can't..."

How could she say the words?

How could she say that she couldn't love him back?

"You can't love him back?" Aamina's voice was a bare whisper as she read, hesitantly, between the lines. "You can't love my son back?"

Tasneem shook her head, hating the tears that welled in the older woman's eyes. "I'm so sorry."

Aamina closed her eyes, begging for forgiveness.

You left them too soon, Husain.

You left them too soon.

...

"Did you like the biscuits?" Tasneem asked, watching as Riaz scratched out an entire page of calculations roughly with his pencil.

"Yeah, they were good." He flipped the page, beginning all over again as he kept looking through the large files all over his mattress.

"My granny made them."

He looked up, setting his pencil down gently his book.

"Was she here today?"

"Uhm hmm." She carefully folded the page of her book and left it by her bedside before she moved closer to his side.

"I'm sorry I phoned her without asking." He looked down at her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "I thought maybe you'd like to know the whole story."

She nodded once before resting her head on her shoulder, accepting his apology in the best way she knew. "What are you doing?"

"The preliminary calculations on the steel casing for the drill site."

"Did they find a new well?" She asked, trying to read through the calculations on his page.

"No, we're just drilling at another point." He picked up his pencil, balancing his book between their laps. He took off his glasses, rubbing his eyes as if it would soothe his impending headache.

"You're tired, aren't you?" She placed her hand gently over his own, stopping him from wearing his glasses once again.

"It's not working out." He admitted, closing his eyes as he felt her fingertips on his temple.

"You've been working for 3 hours straight," she took his glasses from his hand, setting it beside her book, "Why don't you tell me something."

"Tell you what?"

"Anything." She moved her fingers away from his forehead as she shifted.

He grabbed her hand before she could move them away from him entirely, "Don't stop." He opened his eyes, almost pleading with her to continue.

She raised herself on her knees, moving behind him before she rubbed her sweaty hands over her pants. "Sorry." She smiled, unused to this unguarded side of him.

"What is anything?" He rested against her, closing his eyes once again as she rubbed her fingers gently over the bridge of his nose and the sides of his temples, soothing the building ache within his head.

"Something easy." She said softly near his ear."Tell me how gas is mined."

He stretched his leg out, raising his knee as he settled heavily against her. "It's a five-phase process. First you drill downwards. We dig really deep though, deeper than..."

As he spoke, he barely even realised that his words were slowing, losing himself to her gentle touch and before long, his eyes were closed and he had fallen asleep...

...

Tasneem stretched, cracking her back as she finally finished her shift. Her back was killing her and the heat in the small work-room was almost insufferable. She could barely breathe in the heavy air and even though the windows were wide open there was absolutely no breeze to carry the heat away.

She stepped into the front, intent on making idle conversation with Mr Umar until Riaz came. He had grown on her in the past few months and even though he barely spoke more than a few grunts and well-timed hums, she liked talking to him all the same.

"Mr Umar, I'm d-" Her bag clattered to the floor as all the muscles in her body ceased with fear.

"Tasneem." He stood up, walking slowly towards her. "I can't believe I finally found you."