"Wheee!" Julia cried, bouncing off me. "You're like a trampoline pillow!"

"Julia... That's not really- oof!" She crashed into me again and fell onto the couch, giggling.

"Jules, don't do that to your cousin. You know better, honey," my aunt, Hannah, said walking in. "Sorry, Norma."

"But mommy, her belly is bouncy! Wheee!" She slammed into me yet again, nearly knocking me into a wall with all the force of a seven year old's enthusiasm.

"Ugh- Julia, get off me."

"But it's so fun!" She turned now and charged for her mother, hitting her hard. "See? It's not as fun because my mommy isn't fat like you." She turned and ran at me a fifth time, but I stepped out of the way.

Julia crashed into a tall lamp, tumbled into the couch, and hit the glass paneled door with a thud.

"Mommy!" She shrieked, holding her nose. She had evidently hit it hard on the glass and now it was bleeding.

My aunt stared at me for a moment before helping Julia get a towel for her nose.

"She deserved it," I muttered under my breath. Walking out of the room, I sat down on the couch and flipped on The Office. After about 10 minutes of this, I got up and went outside.

I sat down on the porch swing and rocked gently back and forth. People watching is always interesting.

When I was trying to decide whether that old lady lived across the street or not, my phone buzzed.

Motherlord(aka Diane): Hey hon. Whatchu doing? Still hangin out with Hannah and Julia?

Groaning internally, I replied carefully.

Norma: Got a bit bored, chilling outside for now. Will be ready to leave soon. Can you give me a ride?

Motherlord(aka Diane): Sho thang girl. 20 mins?

Norma: Mom don't talk like that.

Motherlord(aka Diane): kk bae ;)

Norma: No really.

Motherlord(aka Diane): K. 20 minutes then?

Norma: yeah. Thx.

"Motherlord? Really Norma? So original."

"What the- what are you doing here?"

Penny Alderman was Emily's newest 'recruit' in her so called friend group. They're basically slaves, I swear.

"My grandmother lives across the street. She thought it was weird that you were watching her so she sent me over here. Do you take pleasure in watching old women?"

"Yes, staring at elderly women sexually arouses me, Penny. It is my sole reason for living, waking up in the morning to watch my grandmother-"

"Aghhhhh, make it stop ew!" She said running away.

Well that went well. All hail the queen of sarcasm, thank you, thank you.

I spent about five minutes playing on my phone before I felt something was behind me. Turning my head, I nearly jumped out of the swing when I saw Emily.

Standing up, I headed inside.

"Norma, wait, I need to talk to you," she said as I tried to close the door.

"What."

"Do you really have a thing for grandmas, or-"

I shut the door. "Stupid bitch," I muttered as I looked around the room.

Julia stated me in the face. "Mommy? Norma-"

My phone buzzed again. "-has to go, bye Aunt Hannah!"

"Bye dear!"