Well. That wasn't such a good idea.
See, I decided to try and loose a bit of weight. Only problem is, I've never been to a gym before and I gave myself a concussion falling off a treadmill - while Emily was watching.

So it's been a week, and I'm going back to school now. Ugh.

I packed my backpack, grabbed my lunch, and ran outside for the school bus. I may not look it, but I'm actually a bit athletic. I'm planning to do track in the spring. Right now though, it's only September.

I climbed on the bus and went to my usual seat, only to find that it was taken by a seventh grader. "Mind if I sit?" I asked, sitting already. I knew she wouldn't. Nobody actually cared about bus seats anyway.

"No." She elbowed me in the stomach, but I remained put. "I said no! Get out of my seat."

Well then. "Dang, chill your face."

"You chill your face," she replied. "And I'm thinking less ice cream, more cool-sculpting."

"Ha, good one. Like I haven't heard that before. Actually, I haven't. That's clever, I'll tell Emily she can use it, or did you copyright it? I wouldn't want to be rude or anything."

The girl rolled her eyes and turned to the window, pulling out her phone. Ignoring her again, I remained seated next to her and pulled out my vocab book. What? Don't judge, I had a concussion. I couldn't do homework!

Just, don't tell Mrs. Arellei.

Fast forward to school, I walked in a minute early, as the bus had been on time for once. This time, surprisingly, I didn't drop anything. Huh. Maybe the concussion knocked some balance into me.

Ha. As I thought this, I walked into a table. "Shi-shiitake mushrooms," I nearly swore. Rubbing my shin gingerly, I continued to my locker, finding it not quite as I remembered. I could've sworn I had organized all my papers, yet there were clearly worksheets poking through the vents.

Deciding to rectify the situation, I turned the lock. 20... 25...8. I swung the door open and was surprised(I really shouldn't have, it was a cliché) when dozens of slips of paper came tumbling out. I plucked one off the floor and read it. "Whale."

I grabbed two more and read "Bus." "Fat Ass." That last one wasn't very creative.

At this point Emily walked up to me. "Hi!" She said excitedly. "Did you like it? We're giving you some suggestions for Halloween, you know, since you probably can't get many costumes because of your size."

"That's sweet of you. I have an idea for you, it's a dead body. I can help you out of your like."

"Thanks but no thanks. I don't want to die by being crushed by some fat girl sitting on me. I'd much prefer watching you choke on all the food you shove down your throat. At least you're not a slut though, I mean it's food not dick. Wait. It is just food, right?"

She laughed and walked away, flicked my three other girls.

The thing is, I'm only 182 lbs. it could be worse. I could be Adam, he's over 200.

Or, as Emily so kindly suggested, I could be a slut.