Lead the Way, Mermaid

♡

"What would you do, cuz?" Nora chewed her fingernail as she stared at her laptop screen. Laffery snoozed away the day beside her, his head curled into his stomach. She reached down and patted his head, nervously awaiting Lore's reply.

Lore loafed in a pair of sweats, legs hung over the arm of her couch, hair winding down the sides of her face and over her shoulders like roller coaster tracks. An open bottle of wine sat on the coffee table next to a platter of sweating meats and cheeses. Spearing a green olive off the tray, Lore glanced at Nora. "Doesn't matter what I'd do." She shoved the pimento-stuffed atrocity into her mouth, running her teeth along the pick to get every last, pulpy bite. "It's your problem."

Laffery's tail swatted Nora's knee. She combed her fingers through it, relishing in the warmth and softness the fat cat provided. "I know, but some advice might be nice." She cocked an eyebrow, leaning back on her bed, kneading the cotton sheets beneath her fingers. "You advise your clients, right?"

Lore shrugged. "On how not to incriminate themselves, yes." She eyed a piece of salami, picking it up with none of her usual delicacy. This was the Lore Nora had grown up alongside. The loud, do what she wanted, and damn all the consequences, girl Nora'd envied her entire life.

The cousin who tracked down a boy who'd stolen Nora's stuffed elephant and kicked him in the groin. Repeatedly. Who saw the time out seat more than she saw the outside during summer vacation. Who never left someone behind. 

Lore hooked the limp meat on her finger; it dangling off her like wet laundry, its fat glistening before she shoved it into her mouth. "They need my advice or else it'd be straight to the chair for them," she added, mouth full. "You like your mermaid?"

Nora exhaled, her breath causing Laffie's ears to twitch. The cat burrowed further into her bedsheets. She felt the vibration of his purring against her thigh. "I like what I know about her," Lore smiled, "But what I know is very little. She could be an axe murder."

Lore cocked an eyebrow as she shoved her hands behind her head. "Thought you didn't attract murders? Just misguided weirdos?"

Curly hairs, a few that had escaped her morning flat ironing, fell in front of Nora's eyes as she shook her head. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah," Lore nodded, "I know you're looking for an out. You always run, cuz. It's easier, I get it, but—"

The blankets grew tangled underneath Nora's palms, and she squeezed. "That's not it," she tensed, feeling as though she'd been caught in a maze, her thoughts dancing around what she didn't want to admit was the truth. She was running, but she'd never openly admit it. Instead, she continued, "Not entirely, anyway. I could lose my job if I take this date."

"You'll find another."

"And what if it doesn't go anywhere? What if HEA's wrong and the algorithm's fucked to hell? What if there's awkward silence and–"

"I thought your girl liked to babble." Lore's eyebrows shot into her hairline, her lips curled slightly. "Like a brook." Her eyes glistened with mischief.

Nora frowned.

And just like that, Lore shot up in her seat, back needle-straight, her slippered feet pounding off the ground. She leaned in, hands steepled, having erased her earlier ease for the posture of a veteran litigator. "One of those things could happen." Lore's version of a pep talk certainly lacked some serious pep. "Or all those things could happen." Even worse. "But you'll never know unless you try."

Nora rolled her eyes. "Great speech, cuz. Tell me, when are planning on announcing your bid for Mayor of Taciturn Valley?"

Lore batted away her snark like a bad smell. "You keep waiting for someone else to take the reins on your life," she said, tone unnaturally serious.

Nora took a breath, momentarily transfixed by her cousin's beauty. The softness of her angles, the compassion hidden in her gaze, the tension of her mouth.

"Keep waiting for someone else to drag you to the places you need to be but you never once use your own damn arms and legs to go after what you want." Lore huffed, cheeks flushed. "Aunt and Uncle don't run your life anymore, girl."

"They sure try," Nora said, remembering her mother's standing offer to take control of Nora's life. They'd buy her all the things she needed, so long as she did as they said. She'd rather sell her soul to the devil. At least then she'd get some fame from the deal.

"Fuck em."

At this, Nora's head snapped up. Even Laffie peeled open an eye and released a yawn. She blinked. Had Nora really heard Lore swear? About her parents? Lore never had an issue with them, aside from how they treated Nora, but even that she chalked up to typical parental behavior.

Everything they'd ever done, she'd assured Nora, had been done because they loved their only daughter. But Lore'd never seen them, lit by the last embers of the fire, huddled together, faces distended and twisted in the lowlight like some sort of ancient death mask as Nora told them she liked girls.

Lore'd heard the aftermath, but Nora'd witnessed it. Felt it reverberate through muscle and bone, sear it's way into her memory. That moment imprinted on her, a ghost that never fully stopped haunting her, that ushered the permanent shift of her relationship with her parents into something more tenuous, tense and temporary.

"Did you just—"

"Fuck," Lore slapped her thighs, "them."

"I've never heard you—"

"Fuck Seraphim's rules and fuck your parents." She wagged her finger, prompting Laffie to take a swipe at the computer screen. "If you want to date Marina, do it. If you don't, then don't."

Lore leaned into the couch, the soft plush molding around and threatening to swallow her in upscale upholstery. "I'll support you, 100% regardless of what you do. You know that, right?" Reaching up, she wiped a strand of hair off her forehead. Nora nodded. "And if Seraphim ejects you onto the street, you've got a home here." Lore's finger stabbed the coffee table so hard the laptop shook. "You can room with Prince." Mischief swam in her gaze. 

Tears welled in Nora's eyes as she continued to nod, afraid that stopping would lead to some very ugly crying.

"I love you, cuz."

"Yeah," Nora said, trying to smooth over the cracks in her voice. "Same."

"Good luck with Marina."

Nora shut her laptop as the first tear rolled down her cheek. Fuck em. She'd wanted to say those words for so long but had never found the courage to speak them out loud.

Fuck em.

She got to her feet and strode over to her mirror. She blew a few strands of hair out of her face while Laffie settled on his haunches, his head tilted as his tail beat against his front paws. Nora squared her shoulders, extended her chin, and clenched her fists.

She glared at her reflection, jaw set. "Fuck em." The words slipped between her teeth with ease. She smiled and turned toward Laffery. "Fuck em," she said again, more enthusiastically. "Fuck," she sauntered back toward her bed, hefted the cat into her arms and swung him around, he her unwilling impromptu dance partner, "em."

The cat meowed. She gave his wet nose a poke. "I've got a date, Laffs. Help me pick out an outfit?" Head cocked, ears twitching Laffery gave an exasperated yowl.

*

The date was on Saturday. They were to meet outside the Halo terminal in the Row, since that was a spot they both knew well.

As Nora approached, fingering her sweater and second-guessing every choice she'd made that morning—from chancing it by ordering a spinach omelet, extra garlic for breakfast, to choosing jeans, a loose fitting rainbow knit and white sneakers, to leaving Laffery home, unsupervised with her recently purchased living room curtains—she saw her.

Marina stood in front of the turnstiles, her white hair and pale green dress contrasting boldly with the red brick buildings and stained concrete. She had a jean jacket draped over her shoulders, which she pulled a little tighter around herself before spotting Nora.

Immediately, she sprang to her feet, the loose waves of her hair bouncing around her shoulders. Her seashell purse swung at her hip. A smile as wide as the Grand Canyon split her face.

Seeing her made Nora's earlier unease melt away. So letting her hand fall back to her side, she waved Marina over.

Within seconds, Marina stood in front of Nora, her face decorated with the lightest pinks. "Hi," she said, shifting her purse to her back. "You're early."

"If I'm early," Nora gestured to the brouchers Marina had crumpled in her hands, "what were you?"

Marina's smile widened as she tried to subtly discard the evidence of her early arrival. "Prepared."

"It appears so."

Marina shook her head. "Well, whatever. I'm glad you're here." Fingers closed around Nora's hand. She had to stifle a gasp as Marina slid her fingers in between Nora's, her warmth immediate and radiant.

Butterflies Nora thought lie dormant in her chest burst from their cocoons and flapped wildly. Heat traveled over her cheeks.

"Got anywhere specific you wanted to hit up?"

Nora shook her head. Honestly, she didn't care where they went as long as they were together, but considering how corny that sounded in her head, she could only imagine how worse it'd be said out loud.

Hand in hand, they started strolling through the Row, passing by the older brick buildings and their wheezing air conditioners. Greasy awnings provided shade, while the dozens of people angry at the heat this late in the summer gave them something to chat about when their conversation threatened to stall.

As they stepped out of the shadow of a tree, Marina tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, squinting under the full blast of the sun. "I don't really have a place in mind either, you know?" She snapped up, no longer looking as wilted as the flowers in the window boxes of a nearby florist shop. Her shoulder brushed Nora's. "I mean, I can plan things. Do it all the time. Birthday parties, family vacays, it's just--" Her cheeks took on a rosy hue beneath her smatter of coral blush. "When I think of you, I'm kinda okay going wherever, you know?" She glanced up at Nora from behind her snow-white eyelashes, her eyes bluer than the sky.

"I know," Nora said, daring to give Marina's hand a squeeze. "It's the same for me."

Marina continued to stare at Nora, pressing her tooth into lower lip. While it might have been something unconsciously done, maybe a tick of nerves, it drew all of Nora's attention to Marina's mouth. And that was the last thing Nora needed to focus on.

She turned away as they passed under an awning of Mr. Patel's convenience store. He was outside, sleeves rolled up, apron on, as he cleaned hand prints from the glass. He smiled, before flashing her one of those all-knowing glances. The kind kids shared with one another when they were privvy to a joke the rest of the world hadn't heard yet.

Unaware of the insidious nature of Mr. Patel's grin, Marina innocently beamed at him. "It's good to see you, Nora. Looking so happy and healthy." He winked as he spritzed the window, dousing them all in a lemon-scented fog.

Nora nodded. "Thanks, Mr. Patel."

"Say," he said, sliding his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. "Got a new shipment of boxed reds in from the West Coast. Elixir of the gods."

"Save me two." Nora smiled. "After all, if the gods approve, it must be good."

They exchanged goodbye before rounding the corner. Marina chuckled. "I never knew such colorful people lived here."

"There aren't colorful mermaids in the sea?"

Her expression tightened, her free hand squeezing the strap of her purse. "Not like on land. Don't you feel like you're walking in some big rainbow of indefinite colors?" Nora shook her head. "Sometimes I think that," Marina reached up, grabbed a leaf and tore it from the tree they passed under, "and then I wonder what color I am, and if its bright enough to add to the collective rainbow. Or if I'm just another dull shade, a mucky brown, that only brings the whole thing down, that only diminishes the overall value of--"

Marina glanced down at her hand, then up at Nora. "What's wrong?"

Nora hadn't realized she'd stopped walking. But the self-loathing in Marina's speech, her questioning of her worth, it all struck too close to home. How could someone so beautif and fun and beyond weird think herself unworthy of the world she inhabits? Then again, Nora knew all that amounted to shit. Everyone had problems, everywhere. But still... "You're like a painting." The words came out like ghosts, haunting the space between them.

"What?"

"A painting. You were created because your creator believed in you and wanted others to see what they saw. And your not just one color but many. And you're hard to describe," Nora wound a strand of hair around her finger as the words stalled on her tongue. "But you make me feel better about the world around me and if you're not good enough to be a part of its rainbow, then fuck that rainbow. Be your own rainbow. Be an explosion of color so bright no one can ignore."

She shook her head, her heart hammering against her chest. Why'd she have to say something so embarrassing? This was it. The nail in the coffin. The ending of whatever could have been before it got started. Nora'd come on so strong all to say what exactly? To babble and look like an idiot. She looked up from the ground, sheepishly. "Guess I dropped the painting metaphor half way through my tirade." She forced an awkward chuckle from her lips.

Marina wasn't smiling. Nora gulped, but was surprised when she continued feeling Marina's hand in hers. "If we weren't in the middle of a sidewalk, I'd kiss you, Nora Campbell."

Nora's heart leapt into her throat. She blinked. "What was that?"

"Sorry if that's too forward, or comes off too strong, it's just," Marina stroked Nora's hand with her thumb. "I speak what I'm feeling when I'm feeling it and," she met Nora's gaze head-on, "I'm feeling like I really want to kiss you."

"But not here?"

Marina smiled, the corners of her eyes, creased. "Not here, but," she slipped free of Nora's touch, placed her hands at her back and bounded forward. Twisting back, her eyes glistening she added, "I have a place in mind."

"To kiss?" Nora asked.

She shook her head. "To continue on with our date." Nora nodded, slightly saddened by the rebuke. Not that she was expecting any kissing on their first date, but Marina had broached the subject first and now that the idea had been planted in Nora's brain, it wasn't going to go away easily.  "Kissing may happen, though," Marina added, her lips one gigantic lop-sided smirk. She held her hand out for Nora.

Nora took it immediately, a similar smile to Marina's settling on her face. "Lead the way, mermaid."

#firstdate #asnaturalasbreathing #sayingfuckitchangedmylife #mylifemydecision

Total Word Count: 19,311 / 20,000 (<--so close!!!)