Baaton ko teri hum Bhula na sake
Hoke judaa hum na judaa ho sake
Dil mein hai Zinda har ghadi tu kahin
Hoke judaa hum na judaa ho sake

Kitni chahat hai dil mein tu Jaane na
Kaise dil ko samjhaaye dil maane na

═❋═❋═

My hands were trembling in nervousness even though I know everything ends today the misery, the pain we have been put through all these past months still there is a feeling deep down in my heart that is unsettling doesn't matter how much I try to calm myself it's not going away.

I'm still staying with Maa and Baba, though Papaji told me to come back when I think about it's still hard the memories of that night burn through me like a fresh wound no matter how many bandages I cover with will always be there.

People perhaps think that something like this can be forgotten over time, but it is only who has been through knows what it feels like, those touches are imprinted on me and not just on my skin also on my mind and heart.

I thought after seeing Chachi Ji behind bars or seeing everyone else who took Anay away from me will give me peace but this empty feeling inside me hasn't gone not even a bit. I feel like an empty room filled with the color of darkness four walls of it closing on me. The thought of getting the murderer behind the bars was the only thing that was keeping me going but now I just feel empty in which no matter who tries to fill happy colors or how much someone nurtures it will never be whole again.

I wonder how will I go on? The mere thought of moving on without Anay is bestowing me with fear.

Love filled all the depths of me but now that it's gone from my life I don't know what to do, I want to be surrounded by that feeling it made me feel alive like diving into the realms of magic where I always felt safe. People say when you lose someone you love it feels like you lost a part of yourself but I feel like I've lost myself though I dream of waking up one day and being whole again, I dream of all my sorrows to be swept away.

"Hey, everything will be alright" a soft voice whispers, a voice that has been there for me no matter what.

I turn to my left side to see Viraj with a smile on his face, his eyes always scream at me that everything will be okay, and every time my heart believes it.
"Yeah, thank you for being here with me" I replied letting out a sigh of relief. We were in the courtroom I looked at Chachi Ji who still had smug look on her face she don't regret even a single thing of what she did.

How someone can be so arrogant?

She ruined our lives, and in the process, she ruined hers too can't she see that or it doesn't bother her in the least.

The lawyer kept questioning her and just like that she answered each of them, her accomplices were already questioned now it was time for the jury to tell their verdict for the case my heart was beating unnaturally fast just then I felt big warm hands covering mine, my eyes fall on Baba's hand he was making circles on my knuckles and that calmed me a little.

One by one everyone was called to the stand to answer the questions it was hard for everyone but when Jai was called to the stand Chachi Ji's expression changed a little.

Is it a concern? Or love for him? I don't know at this time I don't know what to make of her she did something none of us ever thought will happen in our worst nightmares, for a split-second she indeed had a motherly concern on her face maybe she is finally realizing that what dire of a situation she has put her son in along with everyone else in the family.

The lawyers asked their questions from Jai the whole time I was trying to study her face to see even a little bit of guilt but nothing she is good at keeping her face straight. After a moment I was called to the stand Chachi Ji looked at me with a vicious look in her eyes "state your name for the record" the lawyer says walking up towards my stand.

"Mihika Singh Raizada" I replied in a low tone which I don't think so was heard by anyone in the court except the lawyer.

I was feeling nervous I was shifting from one foot to another, taking a glance around the room everyone's eyes on me I was constantly tapping my fingers on the wood of the stand but then my eyes fall across the room on one person who was looking at me with a soft smile on his face he gives me nod indicating me to take deep breaths I can already feel my nerves calmed down a bit.

The lawyer further continues the question, our lawyer and defense attorney both, then went back to sit down as all the questioning part was done now it was time for the judge to make her decision so she adjourned the court we all were waiting outside. I can feel my heart beating so fast that it will come out any second now. I know the decision will be in our favor yet I can not stop worrying about what will happen next.

How is Jai, Chachu, and Bani, or any one of us is going to continue living our lives?

This revelation has changed our lives in such a way that none of us will ever recover from this betrayal will leave a deep scar on everyone. We all were standing in silence but Chachu looked heartbroken his tears silently falling down his cheeks which he was constantly wiping with the back of his hand I went and sat down on the bench beside him "Chachu...I trailed with uncertainty in my mind and heart if there are even any words left that will make him feel a little bit better about this situation.

"You don't have to say anything Mihika, and don't worry about me bacha everything is going to be okay," he says looking at me running his hand over my head.

"I'm ashamed for what she did with you and Anay" his tone is filled with embarrassment and guilt when it should be someone else feeling all these emotions.
"It's not you who should be apologizing, Chachu you didn't do anything wrong," my voice broke.
"I can not wrap my head around for the reasons she did Anay never made Jai feel like he was less than him in any way...he trails off breaking down.

Chachi Ji broke every member of this family in a different way for whatever reasons she did she should have thought of the consequences but then when we are in a dark place there is nothing that seemed to matter, and coming back from a dark place is not easy I will not say that I know anything about it but I have felt it in this past few months there wasn't a moment where I didn't find me in a dark place but my family the thought of bringing the killer to justice always brought me back.

I don't know when I will feel that warm fuzzy feeling, I don't know when I will feel loved as I felt in each moment with Anay but there is something I'm certain of that my family is going to be there for me no matter what.

My thoughts were interrupted as our lawyer called us in the judge is ready to tell her decision we were all ushered back inside.

Is it weird that for some reason Viraj feels like a blessing to me every time he is around he feels like that missing piece of the puzzle that was stomped on by my own and left every important piece of it scattered all across the floor along with that piece which has my heart, love for Anay and now its Viraj's presence which is illuminating every nuke and corner of my heart? There is a part of me that is not ready to accept that feeling, that part of me wants to be in darkness even though there is a hand at the end of that dark tunnel.

His presence seems familiar like a song that I have hummed before.

"Stop worrying Mihika," he says softly, and just like that things seem a little less chaotic, my lips curved into a smile as my eyes gaze at his face irony is even I know not so much about him yet he feels like the easiest person to talk to, and to be around.

We walked inside and suddenly I can feel everyone's eyes on me, everyone was instructed to sit down when Judge came into the room.

"Tamam sabuto ko madde nazar rakhte huye Adalat ne yeh faisla lia hai ki mujrim Padmini Singh Raizada ko Umar kaid ki saza sunati hai" judge's voice booms in the courtroom, a rush feeling of relief washes over me. My eyes glance across the room fell at Chachi Ji she looked defeated instead of feeling happy about the situation I was rather feeling a pang of remorse, the responsibility of wrongdoing.

She doesn't deserve to have me waste any of my emotions on her but I can not stop it, Jai was looking at her in rage and hatred and that is what is making me remorseful as she was taken away by the police "Jai mujhe maaf kardo beta yeh sab maine tumhare liye kia" she looks at him after so long I have seen her like this, and it doesn't make me happy. (Jai forgive me, son, I did everything for you)

I wish we can go back to how things were but we can't go back, it is now up to us how we deal with these circumstances each day no one is ever completely ready for what life has to offer or how certain things will turn out but all we can do this let them follow their path flow with it because the truth is no matter how much you plan or how much you think that if only things were little different it never happens that way.

I looked at Chachi Ji our eyes meet for split second and I can see how sorry she was for all this.

I want to forgive her but not now maybe someday in the future, I will.

Slowly everyone starts to leave it was just me sitting alone in the room now everything was over, my Anay is finally brought to justice yet my mind and heart weren't at ease.

Will it ever get better for me?

Will this hurt and void I feel will ever go away?

Will I be able to make myself whole again?

"Mihika" Viraj's voice brings me back to the land of the living.

"Everyone is leaving and Auntie is asking for you come on let's go," Viraj says as he closes the distance between us by taking long strides.

"Uh yeah," I responded, picking up my bag fixing my dupatta.

"What is it?" He asks grabbing my hand stopping me to go outside.
"It's nothing come on let's go" my voice is almost on the verge of breaking down.
"I thought we were friends who are supposed to share things" he reminds me of the fact of how close we came in the past few months.
"Everything is fine Viraj" I assured him with a small smile.

"I know you Mihika, and I know when you are lying at which you are not that good" the way my name sounds as it slips out of his mouth.

"You know you bite your lower lip and you scratch your neck whenever you are lying" he adds.

How the hell does he know that? No one knows that I have a tell whenever I'm lying not even Anay knew about this.

"So now tell me what is it?" He continues persuading.
"I thought when all this will be over I feel some kind of peace but all I feel is nothingness," my lips quivering as I let out the words.

"Look Mihika there is nothing wrong in feeling this way, but now it is up to you on finding the way to move on and accept the fact that no matter what you do or any of us do it will not bring Anay back," he says wiping my tears which has already started to roll down my cheeks.

"But how?" My voice trembled as I hold onto his arm tightly.
I have cried since I lost Anay but this felt different "that is for you to seek Mihika, and only you can find the way to make peace with this your family, and me we can only stand with you along the way but it is you who have to walk on that path" he holds my hand in his.

"I know right now nothing makes sense but eventually it all will, you will find your way back to the light just remember that I will be there for you" his voice soft and low.

"Now chin up and let's get you home" we both went out of the courtroom where Maa and Baba were waiting.

"I'll see you later, okay?" I nodded and he bid goodbye to Maa, Baba.

We also left for our home.

••••

So the wait is over finally.

How was the chapter?

I wanna apologize for keeping you waiting for the chapter but now I promise it won't be late. I will be publishing the next chapter tomorrow.

Till then

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