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F o u r t e e n

Jeena Tujhe Hoga Mere Bin

Kisi Ka Na Hoga Dubaara Dil

Rehna Maahi Kol Tere
Bin Tere Ni Jana
Kho Ke Tennu Lagda
Main Jeete Ji Mar Jana
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I woke up this morning all sweaty not because I had a nightmare but because of my weird dream which was wrong in all ways.

I was sitting in the garden as I watched the sun setting and the sky turning all beautiful shades of blue and purple. I was struggling with the thought of what happened in the dream and the way it made me feel.

I was out in the field filled with flowers blooming, the chilly wind caressing my face making my cheeks turn red in the dream I looked happy, content after a while I saw a shadow walking out of a fog I thought it was Anay until the face became clear.

It was Viraj.

And that's when I jolt up abruptly cursing each moment of that dream.

"Mihika, Dekho Tumse Milne kon aaya hai" Maa's voice interrupts me turning around I saw Papa Ji and Mummy standing with warm smiles on their faces. (Mihika see you came to meet you)

I touched their feet and we went inside "how is everyone at home?" That was my first question, I haven't talked to Jai and Bani since yesterday I thought it would be good to give them some space.

"Everyone is holding up, but they all miss you" came Maa's reply.

"I will come and see everyone I just thought it will be better if I gave some space...I trailed off because I'm not sure what to say.

We all know things are not good and it is not going to be easy for anyone of us but as Viraj said we all need to learn how to support each other through this and learn to live with the fact that Anay is in a better place and we got the justice for him.

Some days we all are gonna struggle in finding the strength to even get out of bed, some days are going to be hard to even breathe or do anything because it will remind us of Anay being not here, some days our heart will feel stuck at the chapters in which we all were happy with Anay and some days emotions will be all over the place but we all have to try to be brave enough to rebuild ourselves from the ashes and come back stronger.

"We wanted to talk about something to you" I can sense the hesitation in Papa Ji's voice.

"What is it, Papa?"

"We all have decided to get you married again" as soon as the words came out of their mouth I found myself standing fuming in anger.

How could they even think of doing something like this?

"Yeh kya bol rahe aap Papa Ji". (What are you talking about?)

"Dekho beta tumhare saamne tumhari puri Zindagi padi hai...I stopped them in midway. (See, you have your whole in front of you)

"Papa Ji aap esa soch bhi kaise sakte hai".(Dad how can you even think about this)

How can they expect me to get married to someone? How can they forget all the things? Don't they know the dilemma we all are going through?

"Mihika kab tak tum ese rahogi tumhare saamne tumhari puri Zindagi hai hum Tujhe ese nahi dekh sakte" Maa adds. (Mihika you have your whole life in front of you we can't see you like this)

"Mai bilkul thik hu aap logo ko esa kyu lag Raha hai". (I'm perfectly fine why you are thinking like this)

"Beta yeh hum sab ka decision hai, aur humne ladka bhi dekh lia hai tere liye vo Tujhe bilkul khush rakhega". (Beta this is our decision and we have seen the guy for you who will keep you happy?

What the hell are they talking about? How can they do this to me? How can they push me away from them like this? Am I that unlovable in their eyes?

Just because Anay is gone they don't want me in their lives, and how would anyone know what kind of person can keep me happy I know parents know better but right now they don't know what I want hell I don't know what I want.

"Aap log esa kyu kar rahe hai mere sath" I dropped down on the floor, tears start to roll down my cheeks profusely. (Why you all are doing this to me?)

Anay was the color of my happiness and he will always be, he is the color of love I feel inside me, I don't want to erase his traces from my life, his quintessence will always flow inside and I will not let anyone take that away from me.

"How all of you can expect me to fall out of love?" My voice broke. I wanted to yell at them but my voice was only low and weak. Our hearts hold some people in a limitless way and they are expecting me to limit that love.

"We are not asking you to do such a thing Mihika, bache life is very cruel and you can't live alone at some point of time we all need someone on whom we can lean on and share our life" it was Baba this time, he spoke as he sits down wiping my tears.
"But I have Anay's memories with me to live on and I have you all to support me, I don't need anyone else".
"We might not always be there for you Mihika" both my mothers stated in unison.

"At least consider Viraj once for this marriage, he will keep you happy beta" as soon as I heard the name from them for a second I couldn't believe that they were considering him and me to get married.

He is my friend, he is my dead husband's friend and they want us to get married.

"You know that this is outrageous," I ask them in disbelief.
"We saw how he looks at you Mihika and he is a nice guy, just think about it once we will not force you into doing anything we all just want what's best for you" Maa adds.

I got up from the floor I can't be around them right now or anyone picking up the keys of my car "Mihika...Mihika" I can hear them calling my name but I left the house.

It looked like it will heavily pour, the light breeze whispering making its presence known. I was half a mile away from my house when the rain starts to hit the ground large pillow of dark clouds formed in the sky, blotting out the beautiful shade of the sun slowly the sound of the rain intensifies I stopped on the side of the road.

A scream escaped my mouth just as the thunder growls up from the sky agreeing with my pain and rain was hitting the ground like thousands of horse hooves.

I sat in the car for I don't know how long until the loud ringing of my phone pulled me out of my head it was an unknown number which I instantly rejected, but it started ringing again rejecting the call at least three times I groaned loudly when it starts to ring the fourth time hitting the answer button I brought the phone to my ear "hello?"

"Mihika where are you?" I heard Viraj's familiar voice.

"Why are you calling me from an unknown number?" I asked wiping my running nose with a wipe that was resting on the dashboard of my car.
"Doesn't matter, just tell me where are you everyone is so worried" he said in a stern voice.
"I don't know" I gave the honest reply.

I looked out the window and the sky was pitch black "tell me what do you see around" Viraj says from the other side of the call.

I got down from the car it was raining heavily "there is a small cafe here but I can't make out the name of it" I said squinting a little, my hair sticking to the side of my cheek as the weather was changing into a storm slowly.

"Okay, send me your live location" his voice sounding a little bit angry I don't know why or maybe I'm reading too much between the lines.
"I can drive myself home".
"I'm aware you can Mihika but it's raining heavily just send me your location and I'll come to pick you up" I can tell he was irritated and I can imagine him scowling right now.

"Fine". I hung up the call and sent him my location.

I waited there for like an hour until I heard a loud horn Viraj pulled his car got down with an umbrella in his hand " come on let's go" he orders me.

"Did my family put you up to this?" I questioned still sitting in the car.
"No one has to put me up to anything, I'm my own man and can take decisions on my own now get down and let's go home" at the end of his sentence he softens his voice almost as if I'm some child who wants to ice cream.

"What about my car?" I question.
"I will get it picked up by someone now let's go everyone at your house is worried" he keeps blabbering and I ignored every word he was saying my mind was only on the dream I had this morning seeing him was bringing all of it back like a flash and what everyone said earlier about us getting married.

We sat in the car I was shivering because getting all drenched in the rain my hair looked shit, the weird squeaky sound was irritating against the leather of the car seat. Viraj turns on the seat heater as he noticed me shivering because of the cold.

As he drove in silence which was becoming awkward with each second passing I was fighting in my head of saying something I would open my mouth to let the words out and close it immediately.

"Something bothering you?" He shoots a glance in my direction.
"Oh no," I replied looking out the window.

"Yes you want to but something is stopping you from doing so".

I want to tell him about the crazy idea my family is having but I'd rather keep my mouth shut than pull him into some bizarre, drama they all are trying to pull.

"Mihika?" He calls my name.

"Did any of my parents talk to you about us?" regretted as soon as I blurted out the question.

He kept quiet for longer than to my comfort so I cleared my throat to grab his attention "so... I trailed off hoping he would answer but his silence was telling me a different story.

"They did" I hope whatever they said he didn't say yes to any of those crazy thoughts of them.

"Look I'm sorry Viraj I don't know what my family is thinking...he cut me off " Mihika I'm glad they said something because if they didn't have I would've talked to them myself".

What the hell is he talking about?

"I...I don't understand" my voice a little high at the end followed by a nervous laugh.

He stops the car unexpectedly and looks at me for a brief moment before exhaling "look Mihika I have been waiting for the right moment but I don't know when that will be so maybe I should just rip the band-aid off" where he was going with this is scaring me but I kept my face straight.

"I don't know how to say this in which I don't look like a selfish prick" he chuckles awkwardly.

I shifted nervously in the seat gulped enough loudly for him to look at me the rain has stopped and it was pin-drop silent "I don't know when this happened or how all I know that when your parents and Anay's parents came to my house today with a proposal I couldn't say no because I feel something for you in ways I can't explain".

"Some people are special and you just can't explain the bond you share with them not every feeling or emotion can be put into words, I know you need time to get yourself together because leaving the most beautiful part of your life is not easy and I can't promise that there will be no days on which we won't fight or have arguments over something but I promise this Mihika that I will always love you" he adds.

"I'm ready to wait for however long you want me to because this is something I don't want to rush you into or make you regret later" his voice soft. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and probably he can hear too.

I wanted to say so many things, ask so many questions but nothing was coming out as if my mouth has forgotten how to form sentences.

I want to believe if I let someone love me just enough so all the broken pieces might become less broken and bitter memories will start to fade away but I'm scared what if along with bitter memories my good memories with Anay start to fade away too.

What if a time comes and there will be no essence of Anay left in me?

What if I stop loving him?

What if I lose myself so much into someone that I will my Anay forever?

"Say something, please," Viraj says, his tone desperate for an answer which I don't have.

"I just wanna go home" I gave a stern reply and immediately turned to another direction I could feel his eyes boring holes in me.

After a moment he hits the engine and drives off the rest of the drive was silent only occasionally sound of the horn was heard.

I got down hastily as soon as we reached my house Maa and Baba were sitting in the garden, I heard the roar of Viraj's car as he drove away.

••••
I couldn't keep you guys waiting from reading the next chapter.

So here it is, I hope you guys liked it.

What do you think Mihika will decide?

And do you guys think what her parents decided for Mihika is right or not?

Please share your thoughts guys.

Don't be a silent reader.

Till next time

Keep Reading, Keep Smiling ❤️❤️

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