WE WALKED ALONG THE STREET with Ray up front. It felt vaguely familiar, the grey-bricked road, the island of trees down its middle, and the row of houses on our left hidden behind tall walls. The streetlights lit our path, cutting through the insufficient glow of the blood moon.

What's that child—what am I—doing here? I wondered. Are these really my memories? Am I going to die next? Despite my resolve, my mind was full of questions. Stop overthinking, Ziya. You're only scaring yourself.

"Ziya."

I felt a warm grip on my wrist and turned to see Subaru staring at me. The heterochromia intensified his gaze even in the dark. His red eye... it was still so beautiful to me. He had been walking behind me, but I must have slowed down in my moment of distraction. When I looked forward, I realised there was a decent gap between the others and us.

Great, I can't even focus long enough to keep pace. As I thought this, the guys slowed down one by one, silently waiting for Subaru and me to catch up.

"I know it's hard, but you've got to stay calm. Take a deep breath," he said. "If you lose your head here, you won't be able to make it." Subaru's words almost sounded like a reprimand, but my heart lightened hearing them. "I'm right behind you, so don't worry. Come on, deep breaths."

"Thanks, Subaru," I nodded and tried my best to smile.

"Close your eyes. Breathe in... and out..."

I shut my eyes and breathed deeply in rhythm with Subaru's voice. It was even-toned and calm, gradually soothing the anxiety stirring within me. He was right, of course; I couldn't lose my cool. I should have learned that by now.

A moment later, I opened my eyes. "I feel better now."

His cool and collected way of caring for me warmed my heart. Subaru gets somewhat distant, but he's helped the group out a lot so far.

"Good." I saw a ghost of a smile on Subaru's face as he walked on.

"Sorry if I'm slowing us down," I thought out loud.

"I told you not to think too much."

"Right," I giggled in awkward embarrassment and scratched the back of my neck. "You know, you seemed closed off at first, but I noticed that you're pretty observant. You even pick up on stuff Ray would usually overlook. I appreciate it a lot."

"It's not like that..." he murmured.

"Then what is it?"

"It's to protect you." I glanced at Subaru in confusion, but he didn't look back at me. "I feel like I need to keep you safe." He looked down, kicking a pebble. We watched it roll down the street together. "It's like my lost memories are telling me that if anything happens to you, I'll regret it."

Ah... I was a little surprised but mostly understood what he meant.

Subaru noticed me standing there silently and looked away. "I know it's weird to think like that about someone I barely know, but..."

"That's how I feel," I admitted. "It's like every area in this world has a sense of déjà vu about it. I felt that same sense of déjà vu when I first saw your eyes. And when I think about it, I couldn't bear it if you got hurt either."

I lifted my chin, seeking out his ruby eye, and our gazes locked. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face seemed to beckon me to rely on him. It was then that I realised I trusted him.

"I'm scared, Subaru."

He looked surprised for a moment but nodded for us to keep moving forward. We were close enough to the guys that they had started walking again, but I leaned towards Subaru.

"This world is scary, and since we started coming here, being awake hasn't felt much better. I'm always worried that one of us might not wake up, that we'll all be stuck here. Of course, I'm afraid of dying, but I'm also afraid of finding out the truth behind this nightmare."

Subaru just listened, supporting me without saying a word. When I thought about that, courage welled up inside of me. I reminded myself again that I was not alone.

"But we can't just keep being scared, right? The important part is that we're trying. All of us want to get out of here for good and wake up to a world where we can be happy. Even if we fail, at least we can say we tried."

Subaru put his hands in his pockets and smiled. "Maybe you're stronger than I thought."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Sure." He took one hand out from his pocket and patted my head. I wanted to be annoyed by it, but his gentle touch provided a wave of comfort. My heart felt so peaceful. "Keep hanging in there."

I lowered my head knowing that if I looked up at him, he'd notice me blushing. "Th-Thanks..."

I picked up my pace until I was a few steps ahead of Subaru. In the distance, I could see my younger self at the park gates, happily twirling in her favourite red pants and a jean jacket.

Right, I have to see this through.

The gates opened, and another figure appeared next to the little girl.

"Papa!" she giggled.

Papa? The man happily took the child into his arms. But that was not the man I knew as my father. My dad preferred not to shave, though his mane was well-kept. He always wore blue jeans and nice shirts. This man had his hair trimmed close to his head and not a strand on his chin. He was dressed in a white T-shirt and a paper brown suit that looked too big on him. Was this my real father?

So, I'm adopted after all. But how did I become an orphan in the first place?

He caressed his daughter's hair. So gentle... I clutched at my chest, and the corners of my eyes started to sting. My heart went heavy, and I didn't want to see any more of this vision, but I couldn't close my eyes. I stared at the apparition of the smiling father and daughter for a while. For some reason, my heart started to sting with anguish until my eyes watered.

Don't cry.

I fought the tears threatening to spill from my eyes and kept my sights on the little girl. She was so carefree. Had I been like that before?

"Ah, they're going somewhere else!" gasped Thoma, and he put a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, Ziya."

I had almost forgotten the guys were there. Thoma nudged me forward, following the apparitions deeper into the park.

"Papa, where are you going?"

"Papa has a little work to do, Ziyanda. Wait right here for me," my father said as he handed me my favourite candy.

"Okay, Papa! I'll be a good girl and wait right here!"

He patted her on the head and I subconsciously touched the top of my hair. We stopped as the figure of the man disappeared, leaving the little girl all alone. I know what's happening here. This is the truth that I've been running away from.

And the little girl continued to wait for her father to come back, but...

"I was abandoned..."

Everyone looked at me. Licht said my name and rubbed my back affectionately.

"Papa! Papa! Where are you?"

No matter how hard she cried, her father never returned.

"Hey, you..." I took a few steps closer to my younger self. We both had tears in our eyes. You're hurt, aren't you? It's scary to be all alone, huh? It... It hurts... I wished I could tell her: "You're not alone. You're going to meet so many people who care about you. You're going to be happy again."

"Get back, Ziya!" Subaru called out to me.

I could not just keep walking; the little girl stood there crying miserably, reaching out her hand. I stopped in my tracks, holding my palm out to hers.

"Stop crying. Please..."

"Please come back, Papa!" the little girl wailed in desperation, her tears overflowing.

I fell to my knees, clutching the grass between my fingers. From the corner of my eye, I could see the monster gradually starting to materialise. But I was not concerned about that right now. The emotions and memories from my childhood came flooding in and I was powerless against them. I don't want this! I don't want to be alone! It's lonely, being all by myself. It hurts so much...

"Please, don't leave me..." I closed my eyes, unable to endure the pain gnawing at me from the inside. "Please!"

Hearing someone call my name, I opened my eyes. The monster towered over me, its mouth agape for me to look into. Its tongue was a bed of eyeballs, dozens of them shining back at me with intent as the creature rumbled.

"AAARGGAAA-LONE! AAAARGH!"

My heart pounded thunderously in my ears, but I could still hear the voices—so many agonising screams. "PA... PA!"—The desperation, the misery. All the fear I'd felt. "COME... BACK!"

It was ready to devour me.

Just as its fangs were about to descend upon me, I finally understood everything. This monster must have been the embodiment of the memories that I'd been suppressing all this time. Not that it mattered. I was too late, wasn't I? I couldn't win.

"Ziya!" Licht dashed towards the scene.

"Licht, no!"

But I could not stop him in time.

SPLAT.

I shielded my eyes as I was sprayed with liquid. In a breath, everything was bathed in blood.