15: Glaze lilies
The streets of Qingce village, unfortunately, were not all downhill. With its houses and stalls perched on the top of the mountains, near the fields of flowers, the town had steep climbs, stairs and bridges that were difficult to cross in a hurry. None of this, of course, had stopped Childe from wanting to continue his race as he picked up his pace and made every effort to beat Zhongli.
-Who was the one who was supposed to throw me off the bridge? - Childe sneered at him, before rushing to cross a curve, flanking a long line of bamboo trees, before Zhongli reached him in a few quick steps, grabbing a hem of the long scarlet scarf that Childe wore loosely tied around his shoulders. The young Fatui came to a halt, pinning his feet to the gravel ground and sliding slightly forward, barely keeping his balance.
-Hey, it's not worth stopping me like this, you know! - He protested, snorting, then giving him a look halfway between amused and surprised. -Or maybe..the only way to beat me is to cheat? -
-There is nothing illegal in what I have done. We didn't define any rules before we started. Now that I think about it, to be honest, it was you who started the race by starting early .- replied Zhongli, barely refraining from smiling. It was easier than expected to joke with Childe, rarely touchy and just as prone to jokes as to impromptu challenges.
It was Zhongli the one who still had to get used to being treated with that lightheartedness by someone who had only recently begun to know him, but it was a situation he was adapting to faster than expected. In between runs, he hardly realized he'd practically made it to the top of the village, near the food, flower, and jewelry stalls. Time had really flown by since they met for lunch.
- Well, I warn you now, then: get ready! Three, two, one ... GO! - Childe retorted, without too much warning, running again, dangerously close to the area where the inhabitants of the area had set up stalls, displaying the goods of the day. Reaching him quickly and stopping only when he found himself within walking distance of the rest of the people, Zhongli couldn't help but notice the surprised looks of a couple of gentlemen seated at a tea-leaf stand, who watched him and Childe without holding back their curiosity.
-Are you here to buy something, Zhongli Xiangsheng? I see you in a good mood today! Did you bring a friend too? - one of them asked, attracting the attention of other traders, whom Zhongli recognized as soon as he approached further. Childe gave him a puzzled look, as if asking who they were. - I come here often to do some shopping, at least a couple of times a month. - Zhongli reminded Childe, in a low voice, before stopping in front of a stall and returning greetings , addressing the merchants.
-Good morning, sirs. Yes, I am taking my friend to visit our landall around. I thought that your village was worth a walk, the atmosphere here is really pleasant.- said Zhongli. He still had to get used to the concept of having to exchange material goods for money, and, above all, of not being able to make money with a simple snap of his fingers, now that he had taken a human form. Attracted like a bee to honey by those decorations he was already filling his living room with, in the first weeks as a human Zhongli had accumulated so many debts and fools that even Ganyu and Xiao had to come to his rescue. had slipped his wallet into the pockets of his jacket by force,
-Ahh, I see, he's a tourist!- exclaimed one of the vendors. Zhongli couldn't help but notice Childe's slightly alarmed look, and chose not to contradict her and specify that Childe was a Fatui, letting her keep talking, addressing the other. After all, Childe's desire for privacy was understandable: they were on a trip, and there were already too many people in town who had looked at him wrong. - And tell me, are you liking Liyue? –
-Yes, I like it bery very much! It's... huge, and the sea is beautiful. The houses are also fantastic and everybody is very kind.- Childe replied, and from the light that illuminated his unfortunately often melancholy gaze, Zhongli easily understood that he was not lying out of simple politeness. He had been enjoying himself, ever since he got there: he liked to eat at the restaurant,
The enthusiastic way in which he observed their world was like a breath of fresh air: even though Zhongli had visited those places dozens of times, showing them to Childe, excited to discover them, was quite another business.
-That's really nice to hear.- replied the older salesman, cheerfully.
- While I'm here, I was also starting to think about buying souvenirs for my brothers. Or maybe even for my parents - Childe added, becoming more thoughtful, before glancing at Zhongli, as if asking his opinion. –Since you know everything, what could they like? Is there a nice product from Liyue I could buy here?-
- Ah, I usually buy precious stones and statuettes or artifacts here. I doubt they are suitable for children. - remarked Zhongli, with a hint of amusement: in reality he had not yet learned well about human children, but for what little he had had the opportunity to learn, he had sensed that they needed to travel with the mind, have fun and have fun. -Perhaps they would like to try the local food?
- Will it be still edible after shipping it to Snezhnaya? - Childe looked confused.
-Hmm, I don't know. But there are some recipe manuals, dried spices or cans of preserves. one of sweet and sour sauce. - Zhongli proposed, pointing to a pack of Juyeun Chili and a pack of sweet and sour sauce. -Do you remember these? These are the chillies that Xiangling often puts on dishes. They grow in this area, where the sun is able to ensure perfect drying of the surface, making it crunchy and at the same time tastier.-
-Zhongli Xiangsheng always knows a lot about local food. He always talks a lot when he comes here. If I were you, I would listen to him .- laughed an old man, making Childe smile too.
-Yeah, right? He has a really good memory, then there is me, who still have to remember the way to the hotel. I'll take the recipe book, then.- Childe replied.
-Oh, right, gentlemen, I would also like to inform you that now we have also put a very special product on sale. I can make you a special price, if you are interested! - a saleswoman also interjected, gesturing to them to approach the banquet next to.
Zhongli, intrigued, barely widened his eyes: quality goods were always sold in the village, and he was impatient to see what it was.
-Here they are, the very rare Glaze Lilies! They are flowers that grow only in this area, among the fields. Only in a few protected flower beds in Liyue can some of them be found, but otherwise, for some strange reason, they are impossible to grow elsewhere. As soon as they are planted in land away from Qingce village, they quickly wither away. Could it be the scent of our area? Who knows. Maybe they feel better here.- Asked the vendor, with a cheerful and proud tone, pulling a transparent case from under the banquet, containing flowers that Zhongli knew all too well, so well that he could have drawn them with his eyes closed. As soon as he gazed at their white petals, tinged with blue towards the tips, at their thin stem and pointed corolla, Zhongli's breath stopped as if he had been running for several minutes.
It was certainly not the first time he saw them again, but the memory he associated with them was stamped in his mind like a branded seal. And seeing them put up for sale was the last thing he wanted.
- There are 50,000 mora each. A high price, of course, but, you will understand, also fair, considering their rarity .- added the old man, approaching in turn to look at them.
Zhongli felt that their words were becoming muffled as his legs gave way and he was doing everything he could not to show a too sullen expression to Childe, who, beside him, was looking for his advice.
-Do you know these flowers, Zhongli? - Childe asked, initially in a lighthearted tone, before showing a hint of concern, noting that Zhongli was frozen for a moment, lost in his memories.
Years ago, he had met an extremely important person right in a field of Glaze Lilies, and in a field of Glaze Lilies he had buried her, praying that she would rest in peace among the flowers she used to love when she was alive. Her name was Guizhong, and she had been the goddess of dust, his best friend and his faithful ally in running the kingdom.
It had been centuries now since the day Guizhong passed away, but after seeing her die in his arms, killed by a war in which she would not have wanted to participate there hadn't been a single time that thinking about her name, or looking at a detail related to her, hadn't caused him a great melancholy. He had seen her turn to dust so quickly that Zhongli found himself with nothing to hold in his arms, his eyes swollen with tears and his hands covered with a thin ashen sheen.
The wind had carried Guizhong's body away as if freeing her from the wounds, blood and suffering of her last moments, after she had asked him to continue to take care of their kingdom, and of the humans she cared about so much. After exhaling her last breath, the flowers in her long brown hair were the only thing that hadn't immediately dissolved in her, turning into her own element, specks of dust that soon ran free in the air, almost escaping the chains that were trapping her to life. Regarding Zhongli, it seemed to him that his heart, instead of crumbling, had turned into a heavy boulder that oppressed his chest relentlessly, digging a deeper and deeper void.
As time and centuries passed, Zhongli had moved on, of course: he had learned to preserve the memory of Guizhong and to gain strength thanks to it, committing himself to become a better god in his honor, the Rex Lapis that his people praised so much. But the Glaze Lilies were flowers that he still couldn't look at for too long, and that he certainly didn't want to buy at stalls, like an ornament to be placed next to the others in the living room. She wanted them to continue to stay there, where she had once been, free in the meadows without any case to oppress them, just to keep them. He preferred them to remain rare and wild, difficult to cultivate, rather than beautiful but still forever. It would have been what Guizhong deserved, after all.
"Don't ... don't you like them?" Childe's low voice, unusually hesitant, was the only thing that managed to shake him from his thoughts. Zhongli winced slightly as he turned his head, immediately seeking his gaze. He had been silent for only a few moments, yet Childe's eyes had already grown apprehensive as they scrutinized him intently. Zhongli, appreciating his concern, for a moment tried to imagine what it would be like to answer him truthfully, to shake off that burden that only a few friends like Xiao or Ganyu were vaguely aware of. But right now he was in front of the salespeople, and, in spite of himself, in front of a person who didn't have the faintest idea of his real identity.
-No ... they are splendid. It's just that they are sacred flowers, I didn't expect them to be sold. I'm just surprised .- he lied, trying to regain a composed tone.
-I see..well, however, I don't have that much cash behind at the moment, but I'll give it a thought! That they are beautiful I see well.- Childe cut short, smiling again, before greeting the traders, disappearing with them along with Zhongli.
It was only when they had moved several steps away, descending in silence along a bridge that would have led them in front of a majestic waterfall, that Childe decided to intervene, slowing down as he approached the hearth.
-Were you angry about the price, by any chance? In fact it was quite a steal! - Childe dare to ask him, without turning around too much, abandoning himself even to a half laugh. -Or .. about something else? - he added shortly after, becoming more serious, as if that eventuality had been worrying him for a few seconds. Zhongli paused in his turn, near a point where the water thundered swiftly and violently over the rocks, before joining the river beneath their feet. Around them, yellow and orange stones typical of the area shone like tiny suns, and the tall bamboo trunks hid them from the view of the rest of the inhabitants of the area.
Zhongli looked him straight in the eye again, for once in serious trouble about how to reply. He could easily have lied to him and laughed, telling him that in fact fifty thousand mora for a flower was a totally insane price. He could have listened to common sense, which suggested that Childe was perhaps investigating him only to learn more about the city that the Fatui were bent on conquering, and divert the conversation. Yet, despite that, Zhongli decided to listen to the part of himself that was moved by noting how much Childe could be an apprehensive and attentive person when he talked about those he loved: perhaps he would have understood well how Zhongli was feeling, and he would feel sincere sorry for him. He could at least try to find out.
-Well, that flowers reminded me of a person. They were a person I knew very well's favourite flowers.- he replied, after a few moments, easily reading Childe's surprised expression. For a moment she stopped looking at him, looking at the fields dotted with Glaze Lilies beside them, expanses of grass and wheat among which the petals of those very rare flowers sprouted like stars in a clear sky
-..who is them? - Childe asked, becoming more serious and lowering his voice, as he followed his gaze.
-She is ... well, she was a girl I met a long time ago.- Zhongli decided to say, before breaking off quickly.Of course, Zhongli could not say that Guizhong was a goddess like him, nor that several centuries had passed since their meeting. He had told Childe, like so many other people, that he was a human raised in a temple. He would have kept faith with that version, trying to keep even a grain of truth, as much as possible.
-Ah ..- Childe looked down thoughtfully. Usually he always had the joke ready, but in such a context he was caught off guard, remaining speechless. His dismayed expression, however, spoke decisively for him. - When were you children, then? And .. what happened to her? If I may ask, sorry. I don't want to make you sadder."
" I would say I was more of a teenager. I met her when I was a very different person than I was now.- admitted Zhongli, straining to continue, noticing the curiosity on Childe's face. Nobody was forcing Zhongli to tell Childe about his past, but since Zhongli had begun to live among humans, he had noticed that they often formed bonds even by sharing pain, even while hiding some secrets. For example, he had managed to explain his past a little to Hu Tao, despite the constant omission of details, and he had felt he could consider her a closer friend after that.
"What were you like before? When did you grow up in the temple? "Childe asked, visibly interested. The wind had begun to run through his auburn locks, which quickly moved behind one ear, as if it wanted to give him all the attention possible. Reassured by his kind attitude, Zhongli answered him quickly.
"My brothers, or I should say, my family, have never been close to me. They didn't teach me what kindness or compassion towards others was. I think they would have preferred that I was not there in this world at all, you know." he admitted, shrugging his shoulders slightly. "I was not..expected to be born, so my mother, who had me with a gentleman who divorced her, abandoned me in the temple, so that I could grow up in the care of those who worked there. She died shortly after, without allowing me to know her. And no one ever came back to get me. In fact, my half-brothers only came to me to threaten me not to show up with my father's family. So, I was different in the sense that I was much colder and more detached. I struggled to understand the emotions of others because I hadn't learned them well from anyone. I was often alone, among plants, books and spirits."
He hadn't mentioned any names, yet he hadn't even lied: he had never really known his parents, and he certainly couldn't tell Childe that his brothers were cruel gods who had tried to take away the land of Liyue, who enslaved humans and who hated his more lenient way of governing, but did it really matter so much? Just admitting that you had suffered from their treatment was like taking a boulder off your chest, a little at a time.
"And to think about that I have always told you about my brothers and my family. I am so sorry. I didn't want to remind you that your family... well, they didn't understand your worth. "Childe said, after a few seconds, approaching his side. Since they had begun that more melancholy speech, a serious and thoughtful air had descended on his face, which he probably showed to a few. Just as Zhongli was taking a rare action by confiding, Childe was taking a rare action by manifesting obvious concern. In any case, Zhongli was not at all angry with him. Hearing his apprehensive words, his lips dropped to a slightly moved smile.
-I like to hear you talk about your brothers, do not worry about that! Sure, maybe I deserved a different family. But I'm sure your beloved Anton, Tonya and Taucer also deserve a brother who loves them, an attentive and generous person like you. I am happy that they have you.- he replied, without hesitation. Maybe he didn't know everything about Childe yet, but no one would ever dare question the affection he felt for his family.
-Well .. and then what happened? - Childe asked quickly, chasing away the obvious embarrassment with a flourish of his hand. In a more playful context, Zhongli would have laughed: the Fatui was definitely good at retorting, but not too good at accepting compliments.
-I met that kind girl, who lived near the temple. She has always been nice to me, and she loved me for who I was. She taught me to understand people and she studied by my side for a long time.- Zhongli replied, remembering with a pang of nostalgia the first moment he had seen Guizhong, with her hands proudly clasped to the weapon she had created, and the total absence of fear in proposing a pact of peaceful government. Before her, Zhongli had thought that to manage Liyue it was enough to be strong: he had conquered a piece of land with less cruelty than his own brothers and had protected humans as best he could, not wanting slavery or suffering for them. But he had never dreamed of descending among them, of loving them or understanding them.
He had always believed he was different from human, a man as cold and hard as stone, able to protect them like a solid wall of rocks, but unable to give them any real warmth and affection. It was Guizhong who convinced him to go down among the people, to talk to them and to love them. And she had done it so well that Zhongli hadn't stopped doing it even after centuries.
-Before she died, due to an accident .. I promised her that I would try never to be alone again. I promised her that I would protect and help those on my path, and that I would always try to understand and know them .- he decided to add, while slowly sinking his gloved fingers against the palm of his hand. -About once a year, I go to find her grave and bring her the Glaze Lilies. For this reason, I may have seemed melancholy to you, before, when I saw that flowers. She loved them, you know? She often braided them in her hair .- he finished telling, before just lowering his gaze. -I felt so alone, without her, so lost. But I tried to move to the city after a while and follow what she told me, and to live as happily as I could.-
Zhongli would never forget his last oath to Guizhong, words that urged him every moment to keep watching over Liyue. By moving their people to a new city and agreeing to rule it with lenient laws, he understood what it really meant to be a God who cared about his people, who cared for them and was attentive to the feelings of others. Guizhong had taken an interest in his people and tried to help him, eager to see him happy and surrounded by friends. She had taught him that he deserved someone to love him, but also how to love others, and he would be eternally grateful.
He would have liked to know if Guizhong would continue to be proud of him, if he was doing a good job, from time to time, but there was probably no way to find out.
"I think you kept her promise, you know?" Childe said, after a few moments of silence. Zhongli hadn't even noticed that his eyes were slightly moist when, returning to tighten the railing, he turned completely to Childe, meeting a kind expression. His eyebrows had raised wistfully, but his gaze was patient, a look Childe did not seem to be reluctant to show.
" I mean ... you've always been very nice to me. The nicest person I've found here, the one I always look for spending my time because I feel so at ease with you. The first thing you said to me was that you first wanted to understand who I was, what happened to me and what ideals I had, and you're carrying me around until now. We get along, right? Someone else would have simply spit in my face and called the Fatui of shit. Buy you didn't." he continued, leaving him inevitably surprised. Zhongli had acted that way almost without realizing it, interested in going beyond Childe's apparent rind. He had never thought, however, that that gesture would be so appreciated, to the point of leading him there, by his side, not to be afraid to express those thoughts.
"You came to town all by yourself. I wanted to understand who I was. If I hadn't talked to you, I wouldn't have discovered so many things about you that a simple glance doesn't reveal. For example, that you have a very kind side. And that I like your company very much as well. "Zhongli smiled slightly. "Thank you for your words, Childe. They mean a lot to me."
"Hmm..should I also tell you that everyone in town adores you in town? Leaving aside that they also think you are a living encyclopedia or a kind of pensioner. "Childe laughed, slightly shaking his head. "But your friends..they really love you."
"Yeah. I'm very lucky to have them." Zhongli admitted, softening the tone of his voice. "I owe a lot to the boys of Liyue, to Hu Tao, but also to Ganyu and Xiao. When I had just arrived in town, I don't know what I would have done without them. I just hope that Xiao finds his place in the city and is better too.-For a moment, Zhongli thought he saw Childe's expression darken at those last words, but he tried not to give too much weight: perhaps, he was still torn because of his difficult relationship with Xiao.
"If the next time he won't insult me, I swear I'll try to make friends, eh.- Childe joked, to break the tension a bit.
"Thank you. I appreciate it. " Zhongli couldn't help but smile.
"Anyway .. I am very sorry for your .. friend? Girlfriend? "Childe added cautiously. "It must have been very difficult for you. Were you also in love with her or something?"
"I would say she was my closest friend. She considered me his best friend. But regarding my own feelings..at the time, I wasn't very good at understanding my own emotions or those of others, so I mostly knew I loved her very much as a friend. We have never been engaged, nor anything like that." Zhongli answered sincerely, before just shrugging his shoulders. "It was only after I lost her that I realized that maybe I had started to feel something stronger for her when she was alive, something like love, you know? But I never found out if that was the case or not, as I no longer had comparisons of this type of feeling after her.
'' Do you mean that you have never been with anyone, or have you never liked anyone since her? '' Asked Childe, with unusual shrewdness.
"Yes it's correct. It never happened." Zhongli confirmed, without beating around the bush too much: lying or not on that side would certainly not have given more clues to Childe as to whether or not he was the archon of the Geo. "The feeling I felt for her slowly faded away, after her disappearance, becoming simply affection, and then I never felt the same for anyone else."
Childe looked surprised for a moment, but evidently took some time to consider whether to make a joke in that context, as he only spoke after a short silence, probably to distract him. By now he had begun to understand that Childe often joked not always and only for his own amusement, but also to make his interlocutor feel better.
"Okay, come on, don't worry too much about this. In my opinion, in Liyue ,you must be full of admirers. Sooner or later you will find someone you like, perhaps, there is no rush! You're younger than Hu Tao says, you're not eighty or something like that, after all." joked the Fatui.
"Oh, I highly doubt it. But perhaps, now you understand why certain relationships are difficult to understand." Zhongli admitted, hinting an amused snort. "Listen, do you want to go to the sea now? Before sunset is the best time. "
" Of course, let's go!" Childe immediately asserted, enthusiastically. –"I'm not waiting for anything else!
"Fine. The teleport is nearby. "Zhongli reassured him. Before stopping in front of it, he dared to slow his pace, waiting for Childe to catch up with him. in a low voice.-"..thank you again."
"For what? But... no need to thank me! "Childe replied instantly."-In fact ..", he started to add, but Zhongli didn't have time to hear him. With his hands already on the teleport, he was ready to move, far more than he was ready to realize that he had confided in himself far more than was necessary, and he still didn't understand why.
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