My hand, hovering over the bathroom doorknob, flies to my mouth and I wheel around in shock.

"What in-"

"Chill, dude."

Jared is grinning manically at me, reclined on my bed with his long legs dangling over the edge. Damn you, moose. He knows I get heart palpitations.

I exhale deeply, knees slackening with relief. Calm down; this doesn't warrant a full-blown motherfucking conniption, Misha.

"Oh, it's just you."

"Just Jared. Like the multimillion-dollar entertainment-"

"What are you doing here?"

Jared shrugs flippantly, setting his phone down beside him. "You left the place unlocked and I wanted to come talk to you."

"About?" I can't suppress the edge in my voice. I hate snapping at one of my best friends, but I'm thoroughly exhausted and was really looking forward to a private rendezvous with my shower.

Jared heaves a sigh and rises slowly to his feet. I watch those gleaming hazel eyes as they study me. Amused, secretive.

"Anytime between now and the next millennium, Padalecki," I roll my eyes. Immediately, Jared's face splits into a devilish grin.

"You're in a bad mood."

I cross my arms over my chest and fix him with a withering deadpan.

"What gave it away?"

"It's okay; I understand." His grin only broadens, if possible. "You've been PMSing ever since... Well, you know." Jared winks overtly and I cock an eyebrow.

"You'll have to enlighten me-"

"Since Destiel became canon, of course. I can forgive your moodiness, but you're gonna have to be less of a cactus for the higher ups on set, 'cause last I checked, today's the day you kiss Jensen."

The kiss scene.

The reminder barells into me full throttle, even though I never really forgot. Being scheduled to make out with Jensen Ackles isn't something one simply forgets.

"Well, color me surprised," I mutter. But Jared ignores me, practically giddy at the prospect.

"You're gonna do the thing where you lean in-"

"You're gonna do the thing where you shut the hell up," I retort, nonplussed.

But it's no secret that this whole Destiel thing has made me and Jensen uncomfortable. Well, that would the understatement of the year... For the fans, it's long overdue; for the rest of the cast, I'm sure it's a hilarious joke; for Jensen and I, however, this is going to be hell. Yes, I love the fucking shit out of Destiel. But it could put a serious strain on our friendship. It's going to be awkward beyond belief to kiss one of my best male friends, and I don't even want to know the extent of what they're planning over in the writers' room.

And yet, what did we expect, with all the homo in seasons four and five, the lip-licking and eye-fucking and lines like There are two things I know or certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay, and So what? I'm Thelma and you're Louise and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together? Not to mention Dean's blatant bisexuality, as underscored by his gay thing from the bar and Dr. Sexy and his reaction to the gay hunter duo and an indiscriminate number of other subtextual references.

What did we expect, after casting Dean's female look-alike as Cas' wife in season seven, having Dean look on her and Meg with hurt in his eyes and having Meg call Dean and Cas boyfriends? What did we expect, cultivating an immediate connection between Dean and the openly queer character of Charlie? What did we expect, paralleling Dean's post-purgatory visions with Sam's of Jess, and Dean's boner moment in season eight episode seven, and dedicating all those episodes after Cas put himself in danger for Dean to another supernatural being doing this for the human they loved?

What did we expect, after a story arc revolving around brainwashing, curtailed only by a declaration of - not I love you - but I need you, followed by Jensen playing Dean like a jilted lover as per the director's instructions while Cas tried to fix it and Sam looked on like the ultimate, awkward third wheel? What did we expect, making Ephraim - who went after people suffering due to romantic loss - go after Cas? What did we expect, making Dean undress Cas with his eyes in the Impala outside his supposed date's house, too busy flirting to remember to leave, referring to him as the heavily subtextually bisexual character Tony Manero? After the way Dean and Cas' huge, emotional breakup in season six episode twenty was paralleled with canonical star-crossed lovers in season nine episode twenty? After Metatron's huge-ass pause between he's in love and with humanity, right after ranting about Cas being all about saving Dean Winchester? And Amara telling Dean that he represents humanity - and Chuck backing this up? And Crowley calling Cas Dean's boyfriend, and repeatedly paralleling of Cas with Cain's wife in the Dean/Cain parallel, the former having softened him and made him into a better man? And the fact that Dean didn't act grossed out learning about Destiel the way he did learning about Wincest - he acted embarrassed?

What did we expect, after the banshee in 11x11 - who went after people suffering from romantic loss - went after Dean, and Mildred told Dean that he's pining for someone right before we revealed that Dean wasn't pining for Amara? And Amara getting to Dean through Cas, through his heart? And the gruff hunter couple who symbolized Dean and Cas personality-wise, plot-wise and visually, introduced artfully after the settling down with another hunter discussion in 11x04 and prompting Dean to ask them: what's it like, settling down with a hunter?

There have been so many narrative parallels between Dean/Cas and romantic couples - not brothers - and so many symbols and so much subtext and so much intricate plot, so... What. Did we. Expect?

In fact, it's so blatantly obvious that everyone already constructed the story long before the show writers caught up, and now I feel a lot of pressure to live up to the internet's top definition of the greatest love story ever told.

"Glad someone's enjoying this," I mutter to Jared, but there's no real malice behind the words. Destiel has been a long time coming and we all know it.

"To be honest, it cracks me the hell up."

Yeah, nobody on set has been as excited as the biggest Destiel fangirl of them all: Jared Padalecki. The day he learned of this development, my phone exploded with texts like kajshdkskhchdksksjxbjsjsjjdjdjsksjdjdjdyouregonnakissjensenjdjdkdkskfjjdjsjsjdjdj and #KILL MY ASS #FullHomoDestiel #MISHAAAaAAaaaAAaaaaaaaaaa youRe GoNna KisS Jenseeeeeee 

"Why aren't you more excited," Jared prompts.

"Kiss your best friend on the mouth for the TV crew and I'll resurvey your enthusiasm."

I feel disgusting from my run and I just want to take a cold shower, let the cool jets soothe my knotted muscles, work out the aches from my run. "Look, Jared, this has been fun," I growl, "but I'm going to shower now-"

"Well, don't get your thong in a twist," Jared sniffs. Then his voice softens perceptively and he gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "Look, it'll be okay, Misha. You two have already been acting like an old married couple on the show for, like, eight years now.

And if Cas and Dean are practically married already, how big a deal can one little kiss possibly be? I mean, all things considered...this shouldn't make much of a difference for you and Jackles. Right? Just think of it that way."

"Thanks," I reply warily.

"I could come watch the performance, if you want. For moral support."

"I don't want."

"Okay."

"Look, I really need to shower, but I'll see you on set, okay?"

Jared flashes me his patented, thousand-watt smile.

"Sure, and you're welcome. I know you won't admit it but you're grateful for your supportive friend's encouraging and thoughtful words during this trying ordeal-"

"Shut up, Jared."

"Come on; you know I'm your most supportive friend."

"Yes, well, if my supportive friend doesn't stop flattering himself, I'm going to have to kick his sorry rear back into his own trailer. Or another dimension." That knocks him down a couple thousand pegs.

"I'm going, I'm going," Jared raises his arms in defence, backing slowly towards the exit with the shuffling of shoes on hardwood and creaking of floorboards. Echoes of a moose in retreat.

Ridiculous grin still plastered on his face, he ducks through the doorway and turns to me one last time. "Oh and, dude. Brush your teeth beforehand, will you?"

"Out, moose!"