First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHICA! (I think. I'm just going by Markiplier's tweet oops)

Second, here's the chapter but like Chica's birthday is way more important than this crap

I felt like PJ was always watching me from then on. Every time I'd turn around, he was there, smiling encouragingly. He'd constantly check up on me, asking me how I was feeling and if there was anything I needed to talk about. I'd always shake my head, reassuring him that I was fine.

I really wasn't though. I couldn't even look at Phil without feeling a bundle of horrible emotions: sadness, worthlessness, anger... I suppose I was kind of avoiding him. Not that he'd care much.

"Do you want to go out for coffee? You've been editing all day and you look exhausted." Phil asked one day. I swallowed, saving what I had been working on. It was the DanAndPhilGAMES video we had recorded and it hadn't put me in the best mood, considering Phil was literally the perfect human being and I saw myself as exceptionally annoying. "Please? I'm craving coffee and everyone's busy."

Ah, that makes sense. I was his last resort. I finally nodded and we headed to Starbucks together. We walked in silence and didn't say a word until we were saying our orders. We got our beverages and sat down at a table in the corner. My gaze was fixed on my drink, watching as it bubbled and steam rose into the air.

"So what's going on with you?" Phil questioned. It had been a while since we had sat down and no one had said anything. The coffee was just about drinkable so I bought myself some time by taking a long sip.

"Just thinking about some stuff." I mumbled, not wanting to go into too much detail. I wasn't exactly in the mood to be disowned by my best friend. The door made a noise as it shut and Phil, once again, went silent as he watched the person walk in. I could practically see the cogs turning in his head as he contemplated what to say next.

"What stuff? Because, honestly, you can talk to me. About anything," Not quite anything. "Whether it's family issues or you're stressed about YouTube or... you're feeling insecure." I shifted in my seat, afraid he had figured me as he spoke. He must have noticed my sudden discomfort before his voice got softer, as if he was afraid to break me. "Is it that? Are you have trouble with your image?"

I shrugged before whispering, "Yeah." Maybe Phil would stop pestering me because he'd know one of the reasons I was acting strangely.

"Oh, Dan..." His hand reached out and, for a second I was afraid he was going to put it on top of mine but instead he grabbed a napkin that was laying in the middle of the table. Why would he want to hold your hand? You're so stupid for even thinking about that. "You're the most beautiful man on the planet."

"You don't need to lie to me."

Phil looked taken aback at my response. His lips formed a frown and suddenly I missed his smile. "I mean it. You've got pretty eyes and your hair always looks great, no matter what you do to it." I shrugged: I had spent ages in the bathroom that morning, messing with my hair so that it looked right. It had looked decent enough but it wasn't perfect. I was aware that I'd never be perfect but that voice in my head was trying to convince me that I had to be. If I ever even wanted a chance with Phil, I'd need to be more than perfect... which is impossible. I finished my coffee, despite the anxiety swirling in the pit of my chest. "You're amazing."

-

I wasn't feeling that great. I was sitting on my bed, too lazy to do any work and, instead, watching YouTube. One of Phil's videos, to be specific. I had already seen the video, considering I was there and had wanted to see the final turnout. I just wanted to see him smile and hear him laugh again. As much as it broke me that my feelings weren't reciprocated, his smile was pretty contagious.

"What are you doing?" PJ asked, flopping down on my bed beside me. I quickly put down my phone so he couldn't see what I was watching. "Why can't I see?" I blushed and I hadn't realised what it had looked like. "Oh my gosh..." I was redder than a tomato and it wasn't exactly helping my case. "You're watching-"

"Just some videos on YouTube," I replied, saving myself from a hole I had dug myself. "Anthony just uploaded."

It wasn't exactly a lie. Anthony had uploaded but I hadn't even watched the video.

He squinted his eyes, seeing straight through my lie. I sighed, thinking I had gotten away with it but he unexpectedly reached out and grabbed my phone, unlocking it. He was my best friend so he obviously knew my passcode. I cursed myself for ever telling him. I jumped up, reaching to snatch it from him but he was much taller than me. "PJ, give it back!" I sounded like a five-year-old, whining because I couldn't get what I wanted.

"Oh..." He handed it back after he saw what I had really been watching. "Why are you so embarrassed about watching Phil? He is your best friend after all." I blushed even more, looking down at my lap.

"I don't know. Just thought you might think it was weird, I guess."

"Weren't you there when he filmed it?"

"Yeah..."

"And you're watching it?"

"Yeah?"

"Cute."

"Why are you calling me cute?"

"Because he's obviously still one of your idols, despite you being his friend in real life. You still look up to him and like him a lot and it's so noticeable."

"...Is it?" I was panicking again: what if he figured me out? If he knew I liked Phil, I might as well pack up all my stuff and leave. Don't trust PJ. He'll just tell Phil and then everyone would hate you and kick you out. Don't trust anyone with this secret.

"Yeah. Aw.. you're really red." I covered my face with my hand, wishing I could just disappear. The longer I stayed here, the higher the chance that PJ would figure me out.

I hope you have an amazing day! I got barely any sleep last night but surprisingly I don't feel that bad. Yay!

Also *hugs* I know it's random but sometimes you just need a hug :)